# Down Syndrom kids. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 20, 2015, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297 "2015-10-20T23:36:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2015, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/121 "2015-10-25T04:24:58Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > Why do you think it’s an enormous responsibility? At least any more than driving a car, or owning a gun or swimming pool? > > She vehemently [denies](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-77825/Books-claims-anger-Madonna.html) this. > > Would you describe a fertility clinic getting rid of fertilized eggs at the behest of the owners as “terminating a life”? I guess my question is why a mother getting an abortion is terminating life, is subject to all sorts of people wishing to restrict her ability to do so due to laws and/or picketing or killing the providers of that service, but no one goes after fertility clinics when they dispose of fertilized eggs on a regular basis. Why do you think that is? Why can a women getting IVF decide what to do with an embryo without being judged, but one getting an abortion generally cannot? 1. Sex is an enormous responsibility because it comes with the possibility of creating a new life, spreading diseases that can permanently disable or even kill people, or can lead to personal heartache and pain. 2. Yes, Madonna has had multiple abortions. Maybe not 11 but several. 3. I dont know squat about fertility clinics so I dont know. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/122 "2015-10-26T02:24:02Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > 1. Yes, Madonna has had multiple abortions. Maybe not 11 but several. > > 2. I dont know squat about fertility clinics so I dont know. You don’t know squat about fertility clinics but on Madonna you’re an expert enough to refute the woman’s own word? Misogynist-leaning hypocrite, that’s what you are. To the OP - I wish this couple the best of luck, it can’t be easy for the whole family to be aware of and discussing the choices only the pregnant woman can ultimately make. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/123 "2015-10-26T14:23:28Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I don’t know why **Doctor Jackson** seems to think I’m saying anything more controversial than “different strokes for different folks.” A fetus is not a sacred beloved human being to everyone, everywhere, at all times. Because that is NOT what you said. You said “I find it very disturbing that a person could love a fetus the same way they love a conscious, conversant, personality-having, huggable person” and “…my point that people in general do not relate to a fetus the same way that they relate to a child that’s already been born”. That is what I disagree with. If you feel that way, fine, but don’t extrapolate your feelings to people in general. > [@monstro](#): > > Children, however, are almost universally valued. To liken feticide to infanticide or pedicide is to ignore this basic reality. This, for the record, is wrong. Per the article, "Anthropologist Laila Williamson notes that “Infanticide has been practiced on every continent and by people on every level of cultural complexity, from hunter gatherers to high civilizations, including our own ancestors. Rather than being an exception, then, it has been the rule.” > [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Cite? I mean, I don’t doubt there are lot of women who view their pregnancies this way, but there are a crap load who don’t. Your assertion raises my eyebrows. “IME” means “In My Experience”. The cite for that is my experience - with my wife and kids, with my sisters and their kids, with my friends and their kids. I never said that “most” women in general feel one way or the other because I understand that my experience and my feelings are exactly that. > [@monstro](#): > > Do you think the 730,000+ abortions reported to the [CDC in 2011](http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/data_stats/abortion.htm) were performed on women who were dragged into the clinic, kicking and screaming? Or do you think it’s quite possible that the majority of them calmly, deliberately got the procedure done, with minimal psychological consequences? I would guess that there were a whole range of feelings among those women, as there were among the ones who had the 4MM live births the same year - joy, fear, relief, depression - you name it. > [@monstro](#): > > Why does anyone need a cite for something as basic as “not everyone loves fetuses as much as you do”? Can someone please explain this to me, cuz I’m just not getting it. If that is now your contention, I have no issue. It is a change from your original assertions. > [@brickbacon](#): > > Where did you read this study? Almost every reputable study I have seen is that the vast majority do not report any significant regret. See [here](http://time.com/3956781/women-abortion-regret-reproductive-health/), [here](http://www.webmd.com/women/news/20000822/study-says-most-women-dont-regret-abortion), and [here](http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/08/06/2418181/study-abortion-emotions/). Now I’m confused - that is exactly what I said. I cited 2 opposing studies, the one you cite and one that reported a higher rate of suicide among women who had an abortion. I then pointed out why both are flawed. My point was that we can likely never know for sure because people suck at quantifying feelings and correlation does not equal causation. I made no assertion beyond those. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/124 "2015-10-26T20:06:21Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Now I’m confused - that is exactly what I said. I cited 2 opposing studies Where did you cite 2 opposing studies? Please tell me where I can find that post because I must have missed it. > [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > My point was that we can likely never know for sure because people suck at quantifying feelings and correlation does not equal causation. I made no assertion beyond those. Your agnosticism in the face of fairly overwhelming evidence is in fact an assertion in and of itself. There is no basis for ever saying because it involves people’s feelings, we can never know for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/125 "2015-10-26T20:46:51Z")
I thought I had pointed it out before, but-- it doesn’t matter what the prevalence of feeling is among women who have chosen abortions (or haven’t). Whatever it is, it says nothing relevant about any one particular woman’s feelings. If you support a woman’s right to choose, as a matter of politics or policy, you have to agree that _this_ woman > [@chaika](#): > > …has the same right to carry that baby to term as any pregnant woman (and the same right not to, of course). ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/126 "2015-10-26T20:51:43Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Because that is NOT what you said. You said “I find it very disturbing that a person could love a fetus the same way they love a conscious, conversant, personality-having, huggable person” and “…my point that people in general do not relate to a fetus the same way that they relate to a child that’s already been born”. That is what I disagree with. If you feel that way, fine, but don’t extrapolate your feelings to people in general. So if people value fetuses the same way they value children, why do most Americans think abortion should remain legal? Why is abortion even a thing, if most people don’t feel \*some \*way about fetuses that they don’t feel about other forms of human life? Do you think most Americans would support killing children? Do you think we will ever see legalized Child Termination Clinics? Perhaps you answered my earlier question to you, but I was too pissed off about being misunderstood to see it. You say your wife felt a very strong love for her fetus–the same love she felt as the child grew and developed into a fully formed human being. How about you? Do you think you felt the same love your pre-natal baby as you did once that baby became a child, with a name and a personality? I don’t know why you’re talking about your wife’s feelings on this subject, but not your own. Because when I say “people”, I’m not talking just about mothers. I’m talking about fathers too. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/127 "2015-10-26T21:09:44Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > So it’s fair to say that if you have a second child you will love you daughter more than your unborn baby / newborn baby / toddler? Basically, you always love your oldest the most. No, because love can’t be quantified that easily, like you pour more in and check it with a guage. But once a child has a personality then your love for them is different - you love them, the little person, not just the idea of them as your child. I am a little surprised so many people are claiming that it’s normal to love your unborn child, that has no personality and minimal interaction with you, just like you do your fully developed child that you’ve built up memories and experiences with. The key there is “just like.” That, I’m pretty sure, is rare. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/128 "2015-10-26T22:19:39Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > You can that about alot of veterans that come home with severe injuries. Or people who blow themselves up in meth lab explosions. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/129 "2015-10-26T22:41:28Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > Do you mind if I ask what indicators you had? My daughter has not had amniocentesis, just ultrasounds and we keep hoping that maybe the diagnosis is incorrect. We will love and care for the child regardless, but we keep hoping. **MLS** , if you’re still reading this: Our first son’s ultrasound initially came back as being ‘high risk’ for Downs due to the thickness of the nuchal translucency (pocket of fluid) at the back of his neck and a few other measurements that came back as ‘wrong’ for his assumed age. We had the amniocentesis done which came back as all clear. Our kid was further along than estimated and was big for his ‘age’ at that point. That along with either an incorrect measurement or the Doc. reading the results wrong (we never figured out which) lead to the initial ‘high risk’ result. If it’s something you are worried about, get the amniocentesis done if you think the risks are worth it: > [@](#): > > Amniocentesis has a 0.5%-1% risk of causing a miscarriage. At most, one test in a hundred will result in pregnancy loss. When deciding whether or not to have this test, try to balance the risk of miscarriage with how important the result will be to you. [http://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/screening-for-down-syndrome](http://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/screening-for-down-syndrome) For full disclosure we had discussed the issue and would have had a termination if the amniocentesis had come back positive. We have both known families with DS kids and have seen the effects, plus my MIL is a nurse and has had some experience caring for DS kids so we made our decisions with a lot of information at hand. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/130 "2015-10-27T00:46:51Z")
Thank you for this information. I think they are screening my daughter’s (the mother’s) blood. Apparently the maternal blood contains some traces of fetal DNA, and they simply count the number of chromosome 21s found. She is now in her eighth month, and will not undergo amniocentesis. At this stage a premature birth would obviously make things worse. She and her husband would not have considered terminating the pregnancy even if a definitive DS diagnosis had been received early. Their choice, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/131 "2015-10-27T01:52:51Z")
I truly can see both sides of this argument. When my husband and I had our two youngest daughters, we were aware of the higher risks of chromosomal abnormalities due to our ages. And we made the decision, together, that we would choose birth rather than abortion unless reliable testing indicated some unsurvivable defect. (We were fortunate and had two wonderful, healthy daughters.) But the important bit for us is that we chose. We made a mutual decision that we could live with, as a couple. If that decision hadn’t been mutual, I doubt we would have remained together for long. Regardless of our own decisions, however, I have the example in front of me - an old and dear friend is now middle-aged, with aging parents, and two profoundly disabled younger brothers. If my friend’s brothers survive past their parents’ ability to care for them, the friend is next up at bat. He has spent his entire freaking life carrying all of his parents’ hopes and expectations and a whole bunch of added responsibility, knowing that he is the only able brother. His father expected R to be perfect, in awareness/acknowledgement of the fact that the other sons wouldn’t be able to achieve. His mother ignored R, to focus on the children who “needed” her more. And now, R faces two paths that will make him unhappy in different ways - either his beloved brothers die much too young, or R becomes their full-time caretaker. And both of those options suck a lot. I think it’s fair for a parent to make his or her choice, and I couldn’t judge harshly either way. But I think it’s entirely unfair to expect one’s other children to structure their entire lives around that choice… ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/132 "2015-10-27T13:15:00Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > Where did you cite 2 opposing studies? Please tell me where I can find that post because I must have missed it. Certainly, it’s right here in my first post in the thread: > [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > I’m not sure how you arrive at that conclusion. **A recent study did indicate that the vast majority of women who had an abortion did not regret the decision up to 3 years later** , but that type of study is always open to recall bias - and people often don’t like to admit regrets. Also, “regret” is very different from “traumatic experience”. Well over half the women in that study indicated that the decision was difficult to very difficult, which indicates that the decision at least could have been traumatic (a deeply distressing or disturbing experience). **Other studies have shown women who have had an abortion are up to 8 times more likely to commit suicide than women who gave birth - but correlation is not necessarily causation**. There are an abundance of anecdotes on each side. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to accurately quantify the impact. > [@brickbacon](#): > > Your agnosticism in the face of fairly overwhelming evidence is in fact an assertion in and of itself. There is no basis for ever saying because it involves people’s feelings, we can never know for sure. Here is one [cite](http://jcr.oxfordjournals.org/content/35/2/268.abstract) that emotional recall, especially of incidents involving mixed emotions, is flawed: > [@](#): > > Of note, the decline in memory of mixed emotions is distinct from the pattern found for memory of negative emotions, implying that the recall bias is diagnostic of the complexity of mixed emotions rather than of any association with negative affect. Finally, the memory decay effect was driven by the felt conflict aroused by the experience of mixed emotions. And [another](http://journals.lww.com/jonmd/Abstract/2006/10000/A_Valence_Dependent_Group_Specific_Recall_Bias_of.8.aspx): > [@](#): > > Recall is an active reconstruction process likely to distort past experiences. This distortion, known as recall bias, seems to manifest itself differently in sick and healthy people. A recall bias has been documented in several disorders, but never investigated in borderline personality disorder (BPD). To determine recall bias in BPD, we assessed momentary and retrospective ratings of specific emotions in 50 patients with BPD and 50 healthy controls (HCs)…HCs show a positive recall pattern. There is simply a ton of data showing that human memory is flawed and that emotion makes it worse. Basing a study on recall of an emotional moment is just not going to get accurate answers. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/133 "2015-10-27T13:35:34Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > So if people value fetuses the same way they value children, why do most Americans think abortion should remain legal? Why is abortion even a thing, if most people don’t feel \*some \*way about fetuses that they don’t feel about other forms of human life? > > Do you think most Americans would support killing children? > > Do you think we will ever see legalized Child Termination Clinics? > > Perhaps you answered my earlier question to you, but I was too pissed off about being misunderstood to see it. You say your wife felt a very strong love for her fetus–the same love she felt as the child grew and developed into a fully formed human being. How about you? Do you think you felt the same love your pre-natal baby as you did once that baby became a child, with a name and a personality? I don’t know why you’re talking about your wife’s feelings on this subject, but not your own. Because when I say “people”, I’m not talking just about mothers. I’m talking about fathers too. Sigh. Moving the goalposts again. My only contention with you, **monstro** , is that the way you originally stated your point was that it is unnatural for someone to love a fetus as much as a baby (“I find it very disturbing that a person could love a fetus the same way they love a conscious, conversant, personality-having, huggable person” and “…my point that people in general do not relate to a fetus the same way that they relate to a child that’s already been born”). If your contention is now that some people do and some don’t, then we agree. I don’t think you or I or anyone else can quantify how many fall in each camp. Your experience apparently leads you to believe “a lot”, mine leads me to believe “very few”. I, for one, am done with this highjack. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/134 "2015-10-27T15:25:39Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > Our first son’s ultrasound initially came back as being ‘high risk’ for Downs due to the thickness of the nuchal translucency (pocket of fluid) at the back of his neck and a few other measurements that came back as ‘wrong’ for his assumed age. > > We had the amniocentesis done which came back as all clear. > > Our kid was further along than estimated and was big for his ‘age’ at that point. That along with either an incorrect measurement or the Doc. reading the results wrong (we never figured out which) lead to the initial ‘high risk’ result. We had the same result at the 12-week ultrasound. My understanding is that the test has a 50% false-positive rate under the best of circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/135 "2015-10-27T16:22:23Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Sigh. Moving the goalposts again. My only contention with you, **monstro** , is that the way you originally stated your point was that it is unnatural for someone to love a fetus as much as a baby (“I find it very disturbing that a person could love a fetus the same way they love a conscious, conversant, personality-having, huggable person” and “…my point that people in general do not relate to a fetus the same way that they relate to a child that’s already been born”). If your contention is now that some people do and some don’t, then we agree. I don’t think you or I or anyone else can quantify how many fall in each camp. Your experience apparently leads you to believe “a lot”, mine leads me to believe “very few”. > > I, for one, am done with this highjack. The name of this forum is IMHO. Meaning, it doesn’t make sense for you to argue about my feelings about something. My feelings just _are_. I didn’t say a fucking thing about what’s “natural” or not. I said the idea that someone can love a fetus the same as a walking, talking, personality-having, name-possessing, cognizant, huggable, kissable human being is disturbing to me. But this is NOT the same thing as saying that such love is “unnatural”. You’ve got your drawers in a wad because of words you’re putting in my mouth. There’s a ton of things out there that are natural that still I find fucking disturbing. One of them is the tendency for people to kneejerk on message boards when it comes to the topic of babies and abortion. This will never stop working my nerves. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/136 "2015-10-27T16:34:19Z")
For the record, monstro, I am totally on your side in this, and got what you were saying immediately. Doctor Jackson, you really are coming off as though you are deliberately trying to misunderstand her. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/137 "2015-10-27T17:18:30Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Sigh. Moving the goalposts again. My only contention with you, **monstro** , is that the way you originally stated your point was that it is unnatural for someone to love a fetus as much as a baby (“I find it very disturbing that a person could love a fetus the same way they love a conscious, conversant, personality-having, huggable person” and “…my point that people in general do not relate to a fetus the same way that they relate to a child that’s already been born”). If your contention is now that some people do and some don’t, then we agree. I don’t think you or I or anyone else can quantify how many fall in each camp. Your experience apparently leads you to believe “a lot”, mine leads me to believe “very few”. > > I, for one, am done with this highjack. You are just as guilty of using over-reaching language in your (or your wife’s???) argument: > [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > My wife, for one, would vehemently disagree with that statement. **IME, I would say that ‘typically’ women do feel the same love for their fetus.** … > snip > [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > … **IME, the vast majority of women DO relate to a fetus the same as a child** …snip ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/138 "2015-10-27T17:52:22Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > For the record, monstro, I am totally on your side in this, and got what you were saying immediately. Doctor Jackson, you really are coming off as though you are deliberately trying to misunderstand her. When someone says they find your behavior “very disturbing” it doesn’t mean they simply disagree or find it unusual. It means your behavior has caused them anxiety or agitation. I agree with Doctor Jackson and I think he had every right to defend his or his wife’s feelings from someone who is “very disturbed” by them. Was monstro using hyperbole? Then monstro should say so rather than go on a tangent about how those comments are OK because most people favor legal abortion. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/139 "2015-10-27T20:00:48Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > When someone says they find your behavior “very disturbing” it doesn’t mean they simply disagree or find it unusual. It means your behavior has caused them anxiety or agitation. I agree with Doctor Jackson and I think he had every right to defend his or his wife’s feelings from someone who is “very disturbed” by them. Was monstro using hyperbole? Then monstro should say so rather than go on a tangent about how those comments are OK because most people favor legal abortion. It’s funny that no one posting in this thread has said they love their non-born child just the same as their born child/children. There have been a couple of people speaking on their wives behalf. But no one raising their hand. And there are a shitload of parents on this board. It seems to me that more than a couple of people should shitting a brick over what I said, if what I said was so mindblowingly, terribly offensively wrong. But that’s besides the point, really. I’m not about to apologize for feeling disturbed by something, because I’m entitled to feel (and express how I feel) however I want about a topic in this forum. Just the same as people are entitled to express moral contempt towards parents who abort their DS fetuses. I don’t personally harbor such negative feelings, but I’m not about to tell the outraged they need to shut up lest they hurt the feelings of those who have terminated pregnancies. Because what is the fucking point of having a IMHO forum if everyone has to worry about hurting someone’s feelings at every turn? Every opinion has the potential to hurt someone’s feelings. **Doctor Jackson’s** wife is a grown-ass woman. She doesn’t need someone defending her, especially since no one was talking about her or saying anything negative about her, personally. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297/140 "2015-10-28T03:10:02Z")
Well, hold on to your hat because I loved my daughter in my wife’s womb as much as my then 3 year old son. My bond with my son was and probably still is stronger. But as I said before, bond does not equal love for me. I love my little girl the same as her older brother. Frankly, it is odd to me that I’d even have to explain that or that most parents don’t feel the same way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/down-syndrom-kids/735297.md?page=8)