I thought this was the entire point of having a codified legal system rather than just throwing the murderer to the family and letting them do as they please.
If someone murdered my wife or child, there would be no limit to the pain I’d be willing to inflict on them. And I don’t consider myself especially cruel or bloodthirsty. Rather, I am baffled by countries that give the murderer more consideration and protection than he gave his victim. Protecting the murderer from justice is an utter inversion of moral principle.