# Dr Phil, SHUT UP!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 29, 2002, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472 "2002-11-29T07:35:38Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/21 "2002-11-29T20:47:32Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Stoid \*
> \*\*True. And he would be and IS the first to say it. (Only without the “moronically” part.) \*\*
Ahhhh but if sense was common, none of us would have to be told these moronic things.
---
### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/22 "2002-11-29T20:49:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> When you need advice Granny Clampett is the one to turn to…
or Gilligan, or Daisy Duke, or the dead, or odd shaped rocks, or Magic 8 balls, or even Norm Abrams…
BUT NOT DR. PHIL!
maybe Doctor Who…
---
### Author:  [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/23 "2002-11-29T22:24:48Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by kingpengvin \*
> \*\*Ahhhh but if sense was common, none of us would have to be told these moronic things. \*\*
Hence, I give you \* The Dr. Phil Show. \*
---
### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2002, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/24 "2002-11-29T23:17:56Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Biggirl \*
> \*\*Has anyone seen David Letterman’s “Dr. Phil’s Daily Words of Wisdom”? He’ll play a 2 second Dr. Phil clip —they all sound like that Dr. Phil generator. The last time I saw it David was chuckling in his smug way and said “I keep waiting for the cease and desist order but it never comes.” \*\*
The best part is that the quotes are taken out of context:
“You want a piece of me…”
“I want to be Miss America…”
“You Bastard…”
As for Dr. Phil lookalikes:
[Dr. Phil](http://www.hayhouse.com/authors/pix/phil.jpg)
[Bobby Rahal](http://www.f1-live.com/photos/imgactu/01/rahal-portrait_110401_220x151.jpg)
---
### Author:  [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/25 "2002-11-30T01:16:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \*
> \*\*maybe Doctor Who… \*\*
My favorite Dr. Who wav: “Oh, well having reached that brilliant conclusion, how about getting on with it?”
Of course, if that fails you can always turn to the Daleks:
“EXTERMINATE. DESTROY.”
😃
---
### Author:  [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/26 "2002-11-30T04:26:34Z")
I just got “You don’t need parmesan cheese to make a delicious fondue,” which seemed perfectly reasonable to me.
---
### Author:  [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/27 "2002-11-30T05:18:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \*
> \*\*Does anyone else think that Dr. Phil looks like Hank Kingsly on _The Larry Sanders Show_? \*\*
You’re thinking of character actor Jeffrey Tambor, who probably should have had his own show long before Dr. Phil.
---
### Author:  [@PhiloVance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhiloVance)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/28 "2002-11-30T06:19:14Z")
Speaking of lookalikes 😃
[Jim Cramer of Kudlow and Cramer](https://secure2.thestreet.com/cap/images/aap/head_aaplus.gif)
a 'bit meaner and fatter, perhaps. 😉
---
### Author:  [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/29 "2002-11-30T06:25:59Z")
> [@](#):
>
> You don’t need to rob a bank to jerk off in a karaoke bar.
Such impeccable logic, and so convincing, I almost confused it with the REAL Dr. Phil. Thanks for making my night complete, **beagledave**. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@Lazlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazlo)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/30 "2002-11-30T14:25:28Z")
_puke stick covered in rancid ferret meat grease_
Not the thing one wants to read whilst munching on buffalo wings.
Bleah!
---
### Author:  [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/31 "2002-11-30T15:05:50Z")
> [@](#):
>
> You don’t need to rob a bank to jerk off in a karaoke bar.
For some reason, I immediately started thinking of Carey Lowell from _License to Kill_. What the hell is wrong with me?
---
### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/32 "2002-11-30T18:42:52Z")
Thank you **BeagleDave**. I feel so much better now, knowing that there is a purpose for the squishy, still warm fecal matter known as Dr. Phil. It was so we could have such a perfect cite to a site as the cite for the quote generator site. Praise be to Loki.
---
### Author:  [@jujuju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jujuju)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/33 "2002-11-30T19:53:41Z")
i got this one:
You don’t need a 50-watt light bulb to pray I leave TV and never come back.
🙂
---
### Author:  [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2002, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/34 "2002-11-30T20:22:25Z")
[Dr Phil]Hi folks! Today, I thought that I’d spew out some mind-numbingly obvious statements that seem to help but are just really empty soundbites. Because, as my mom always said “Forget a brothel. If you really want to screw people out of their money, get a self-help tv show.”[/Dr Phil]
Vile, empty, pablum that helps no one.
I keep expecting some actual shrink to shoot Phil on air. At trial, they will introduce into evidence tapes of all his shows. The defendant will claim to have acted in defense of legitimate therapists(Y’know those folks who actually try to help people) and the American public. The killing will be ruled justifiable homicide.
[Dr Phil] Y’know, you don’t need me. I can do it for you. But, you can do it yourselves. All you need is a positive attitude, determination, a lit cigarette, 3 or so feet of hose, and some lube[/Dr Phil]
---
### Author:  [@sbic56](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sbic56)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2002, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/35 "2002-12-01T04:14:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Does anyone else think Dr. Phil sounds sort of like Ross Perot’s love-child?
Yes!!😃 Totally!
---
### Author:  [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/36 "2002-12-01T20:04:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> You don’t need phlebitis to enjoy my shiny bald head.
Dude, this is just too damn funny. I won’t let it die without a fight. 😃
---
### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2002, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/37 "2002-12-02T00:41:57Z")
Oooh! This fits many of The Pit threads I’ve been reading:
> [@](#):
>
> You don’t need a wing and a prayer to get all uppity.
I’m almost ready to not self mutilate my wang now everytime someone else talks about this squirming, maggot infested, small plastic bag of three month old lunch meat I found in my truck one hot summer day…
---
### Author:  [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2002, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/38 "2002-12-02T01:58:04Z")
So, let me get this straight… it is generally conceded that Dr. Phil dispenses common sense. We all agree that common sense is, well, good. So it can’t be the content that is objected to, and the mockery of his folksy aphorisms leads me to conclude that he is
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> squishy, still warm fecal matter
> \*\*
because you don’t enjoy his good ol’ boy persona.
Just wanted to get clear about that.
---
### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2002, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/39 "2002-12-02T02:00:22Z")
I think people are saying he DOESN’T dispense common sense, or at least the manner in which he does is pretty snarky.
At least, from what I’ve heard. YMMV.
---
### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2002, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472/40 "2002-12-02T02:16:26Z")
Yes, **Guin** , that’s pretty much my point. I don’t believe that real psychological help can be found on a TV (or radio) show that dispenses psychobabble and pithy sayings as a cure for the problems being discussed. I think Dr. Phil is riding the Oprah induced wave of what is currently popular.
That so many people think he is so good is disturbing to my sense of what should be right.
I would love to see someone on his show tell him to just fuck off or show him that he’s wrong about something, but I try not to watch at all. So, if that _does_ happen, would one of you tell me? Thanks
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472.md?page=1)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-phil-shut-up/139472.md?page=3)