# Dr. Seuss' Beowulf **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 8, 2013, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845 "2013-12-08T20:07:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/21 "2013-12-18T17:54:54Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I don’t think it went completely dormant-- Niven and Barnes were able to make extensive reference to the myth in _The Legacy of Heorot_ in 1987, with the expectation that their readers would catch the references. Of course the details are very different (the Avalonian Grendels attack just because they’re hungry fierce predators, and are no more intelligent than high-end Earthly animals), but there’s still the recognition that Grendel is a mythical monster, and that Beowulf was the hero who slew him. They weren’t heavy references, though – calling the monsters “Grendels”, asnd using the title “Legacy of Heorot”. You could read that book with no knowledge of _Beowulf_ and not be bothered by it. (The sequel has even less about Beowulf, pretty much contained in the title “Beowulf’s Children”). I mentioned Legacy of Heorot in my piece above, comparing the recent movie _Outlander_ to it. My point there was that the idea of Grendel as an extraterrestrial lizard-like relatively intelligent and FAST beast seemed a parallel, and possibly resulting from a reading of _Legacy_. There’s more of _Beowulf_ in _Outlander_ than there is in _Legacy_. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/22 "2013-12-18T17:56:42Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > Perhaps because too many college students followed Alvy Singer’s advice in _Annie Hall_? Maybe. But if you read Crichton’s book, he explicitly said that he was writing it in order to make Beowulf interesting and readable. Which I think he did. The Earlier Crichton is much better and more readable than Later Crichton. Although I think Later Crichton did a good job of adapting it to the screen. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/23 "2013-12-18T21:27:11Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > There were no Little Golden Books of Beowulf… Now _that_ would be an interesting parallel world in which to live. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/24 "2013-12-19T01:21:35Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > Now _that_ would be an interesting parallel world in which to live. :eek: I couldn’t find that anyone mocked one of these up, but I found this: [http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;\_ylt=A0PDoQ4tSbJSinsAMIOJzbkF;\_ylu=X3oDMTIyOXU1ZWYwBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1nBG9pZANlNzMwZGIxZTU2YjFhZWFhMzY1ZjE0OWRkMzc2YTY4NQRncG9zAzEEaXQDYmluZw--?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F\_adv\_prop%3Dimage%26va%3DLittle%2BGolden%2BBook%2BBeowulf%26fr%3Dyfp-t-900%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D1&w=512&h=729&imgurl=imgs.inkfrog.com%2Fpix%2FEvesezrah%2FZ132.JPG&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.com%2Fitm%2FBEOWULF-DRAGON-SLAYER-1-4-VF-1975-HIGH-GRADES-%2F320883968019&size=135.9KB&name=Details+about+\BEOWULF+\<%2Fb\>DRAGON+SLAYER+%231%2C+4+VF%2B+(1975)+HIGH-GRADES!&p=Little+Golden+Book+Beowulf&oid=e730db1e56b1aeaa365f149dd376a685&fr2=&fr=yfp-t-900&tt=Details+about+\BEOWULF+\<%2Fb\>DRAGON+SLAYER+%231%2C+4+VF%2B+(1975)+HIGH-GRADES!&b=0&ni=21&no=1&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=12jtj0dp5&sigb=13o7dhont&sigi=117ecm491&.crumb=GR7CsuOSFRC&fr=yfp-t-900](http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A0PDoQ4tSbJSinsAMIOJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTIyOXU1ZWYwBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1nBG9pZANlNzMwZGIxZTU2YjFhZWFhMzY1ZjE0OWRkMzc2YTY4NQRncG9zAzEEaXQDYmluZw--?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F_adv_prop%3Dimage%26va%3DLittle%2BGolden%2BBook%2BBeowulf%26fr%3Dyfp-t-900%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D1&w=512&h=729&imgurl=imgs.inkfrog.com%2Fpix%2FEvesezrah%2FZ132.JPG&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.com%2Fitm%2FBEOWULF-DRAGON-SLAYER-1-4-VF-1975-HIGH-GRADES-%2F320883968019&size=135.9KB&name=Details+about+%3Cb%3EBEOWULF+%3C%2Fb%3EDRAGON+SLAYER+%231%2C+4+VF%2B+%281975%29+HIGH-GRADES%21&p=Little+Golden+Book+Beowulf&oid=e730db1e56b1aeaa365f149dd376a685&fr2=&fr=yfp-t-900&tt=Details+about+%3Cb%3EBEOWULF+%3C%2Fb%3EDRAGON+SLAYER+%231%2C+4+VF%2B+%281975%29+HIGH-GRADES%21&b=0&ni=21&no=1&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=12jtj0dp5&sigb=13o7dhont&sigi=117ecm491&.crumb=GR7CsuOSFRC&fr=yfp-t-900) Then I found THIS, which blew my mind [http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;\_ylt=A0PDoQ4tSbJSinsAMYOJzbkF;\_ylu=X3oDMTIyZnM0Z282BHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1nBG9pZANkNzM0M2MzMjFmNTljYzk5N2Y4OWI5NzQ4MzlkNTdhMQRncG9zAzIEaXQDYmluZw--?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F\_adv\_prop%3Dimage%26va%3DLittle%2BGolden%2BBook%2BBeowulf%26fr%3Dyfp-t-900%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D2&w=512&h=729&imgurl=imgs.inkfrog.com%2Fpix%2FEvesezrah%2FZ133.JPG&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.com%2Fitm%2FBEOWULF-DRAGON-SLAYER-1-4-VF-1975-HIGH-GRADES-%2F320883968019&size=116.8KB&name=Details+about+\BEOWULF+\<%2Fb\>DRAGON+SLAYER+%231%2C+4+VF%2B+(1975)+HIGH-GRADES!&p=Little+Golden+Book+Beowulf&oid=d7343c321f59cc997f89b974839d57a1&fr2=&fr=yfp-t-900&tt=Details+about+\BEOWULF+\<%2Fb\>DRAGON+SLAYER+%231%2C+4+VF%2B+(1975)+HIGH-GRADES!&b=0&ni=21&no=2&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=12jtj0dp5&sigb=13o1gbtv1&sigi=117hand2m&.crumb=GR7CsuOSFRC&fr=yfp-t-900](http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A0PDoQ4tSbJSinsAMYOJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTIyZnM0Z282BHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1nBG9pZANkNzM0M2MzMjFmNTljYzk5N2Y4OWI5NzQ4MzlkNTdhMQRncG9zAzIEaXQDYmluZw--?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F_adv_prop%3Dimage%26va%3DLittle%2BGolden%2BBook%2BBeowulf%26fr%3Dyfp-t-900%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D2&w=512&h=729&imgurl=imgs.inkfrog.com%2Fpix%2FEvesezrah%2FZ133.JPG&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.com%2Fitm%2FBEOWULF-DRAGON-SLAYER-1-4-VF-1975-HIGH-GRADES-%2F320883968019&size=116.8KB&name=Details+about+%3Cb%3EBEOWULF+%3C%2Fb%3EDRAGON+SLAYER+%231%2C+4+VF%2B+%281975%29+HIGH-GRADES%21&p=Little+Golden+Book+Beowulf&oid=d7343c321f59cc997f89b974839d57a1&fr2=&fr=yfp-t-900&tt=Details+about+%3Cb%3EBEOWULF+%3C%2Fb%3EDRAGON+SLAYER+%231%2C+4+VF%2B+%281975%29+HIGH-GRADES%21&b=0&ni=21&no=2&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=12jtj0dp5&sigb=13o1gbtv1&sigi=117hand2m&.crumb=GR7CsuOSFRC&fr=yfp-t-900) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/25 "2013-12-19T01:23:58Z")
Iyt’s the Beowulf Coloring Book! [http://shopping.yahoo.com/950079235-beowulf/;\_ylt=A2KJ3CV.SrJSrV8AZnBgmolQ?bfr=0.0](http://shopping.yahoo.com/950079235-beowulf/;_ylt=A2KJ3CV.SrJSrV8AZnBgmolQ?bfr=0.0) and Stories of Beowulf told to Children: [http://shopping.yahoo.com/1238315450-stories-of-beowulf-told-to-children/;\_ylt=A2KJ3CV.SrJSrV8AbnBgmolQ?bfr=0.0](http://shopping.yahoo.com/1238315450-stories-of-beowulf-told-to-children/;_ylt=A2KJ3CV.SrJSrV8AbnBgmolQ?bfr=0.0) > **[Stories of Beowulf Told to Children: Marshall, H. E.: 9781479137268: Amazon.com:...](https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Beowulf-Told-Children-Marshall/dp/1611043816)** > > Stories of Beowulf Told to Children \[Marshall, H. E.\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Stories of Beowulf Told to Children > **[Stories of Beowulf Told to the Children: Marshall, H. E.: 9781492795339:...](https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Beowulf-Told-Children-Marshall/dp/149279533X)** > > Stories of Beowulf Told to the Children \[Marshall, H. E.\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Stories of Beowulf Told to the Children ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/26 "2013-12-19T01:28:09Z")
Beowulf in Dover’s Children Classics! > **[The Story of Beowulf (Dover Children's Classics): Marshall, Henrietta Elizabeth:...](https://www.amazon.com/Story-Beowulf-Dover-Childrens-Classics/dp/0486454495)** > > The Story of Beowulf (Dover Children's Classics) \[Marshall, Henrietta Elizabeth\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. The Story of Beowulf (Dover Children's Classics) There are lots more of these. Kids are more sophisticated these days, OI guess. Or being raised on _A Nightmare on Elm Street_ has desensitized them. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/27 "2013-12-19T02:07:06Z")
OMG, _Beowulf Meets Dracula_. However did they restrain themselves from doing _Beowulf Meets the Wolfman_…??? I guess we should thank all that’s holy that we haven’t been treated to _Beowulf Meets One Direction_. (Yet.) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/28 "2013-12-19T02:28:08Z")
Continuing the saga: They’d Sing! _And they’d sing!_ AND they’d SING! SING! SING! SING! And the more Grendel thought of this _Geat_-Midwinter-Sing, The more Grendel thought, "I must stop this whole thing! "Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now! I MUST stop MidWinter from coming! ``` ....*But HOW?"* ``` Then he got an idea! _An awful idea!_ GRENDEL GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! “I know _just_ what to do!” Grendel laughed in his throat, And he made a quick Allfothr hat and a cloak. And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a Grendel-ly sin! “With this cloak and this hat, I look just like Odinn!” “All I need is a wolf…” Grendel looked around. But, since wolves are quite rare, there was none to be found. Did that stop Grendel…? No! Grendel simply said, “If I can’t _find_ a wolf, then I’ll _make_ one instead!” So he called on his Mom. Then he took some black thread And he tied a Wolf-Skin to the top of her head. THEN He loaded some bags And one sack or another On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up his Mother. Then Grendel said “Giddyap!” And the sleigh started to fall Toward Heorot where the _Geats_ Lay a-snooze in their Hall. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/29 "2013-12-19T02:30:19Z")
“Pardon me,” said Grendel To the revelling crowd “But the sound of your party Is really too loud” “I have beastly dreams That really won’t keep And because of your party I can’t get to sleep.” “And because your good manners Did sadly desert you I have no other choice But to brutally hurt you.” So Grendel proceeded To tear up the hall He broke all the kegs And put a crack in the wall He broke up the skulls Of those who celebrated Where he put the Roast Beast Is best left unstated. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/30 "2013-12-19T04:18:35Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > “Pardon me,” said Grendel > To the revelling crowd > “But the sound of your party > Is really too loud” > “I have beastly dreams > That really won’t keep > And because of your party > I can’t get to sleep.” > “And because your good manners > Did sadly desert you > I have no other choice > But to brutally hurt you.” > > So Grendel proceeded > To tear up the hall > He broke all the kegs > And put a crack in the wall > He broke up the skulls > Of those who celebrated > Where he put the Roast Beast > Is best left unstated. Getcher own thread! The above is non-canonical. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/31 "2013-12-19T14:37:17Z")
Non canon, eh? Would it be called the Geisel Apocrypha? Or is it just plain heretical? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/32 "2013-12-19T15:07:06Z")
Non-canon, but I can’t think of a better place to put it. A beast named Grendel thought noise From the mead hall Heorot annoys So he made all the Geats Into his personal good eats And all of their skulls into toys. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/33 "2013-12-20T00:03:07Z")
Oh, as for other pop-culture influence from _Beowulf_, the trolls in D&D clearly have Grendel as one of their influences: In Second Edition, at least, it’s explicitly possible to wrestle an arm off of a troll. I don’t know when this bit of lore entered the game, though. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Real\_Ribeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed8c4c/32.png) [@The\_Real\_Ribeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Real_Ribeye)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2013, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/34 "2013-12-20T23:19:07Z")
Ummm. Beowulf was a Geat, but Hrothgar of Heorot and his people were Danes. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/35 "2013-12-20T23:43:42Z")
> [@The\_Real\_Ribeye](#): > > Ummm. Beowulf was a Geat, but Hrothgar of Heorot and his people were Danes. I know, but I was proud of my Geats/Good Easts rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Brynhildr\_Budladottir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Brynhildr\_Budladottir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynhildr_Budladottir)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/36 "2013-12-21T00:33:27Z")
This thread is the most awesome thing I’ve read in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/37 "2013-12-21T01:46:22Z")
Fixed it [over here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16948465#post16948465) to prevent further hijacking. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/38 "2013-12-23T02:19:03Z")
> [@The\_Real\_Ribeye](#): > > Ummm. Beowulf was a Geat, but Hrothgar of Heorot and his people were Danes. “Geats” is funnier than “Danes” > [@](#): > > This depresses me. It always saddens the professional lightning bug when he flares up under the mole’s nose and finds that the mole doesn’t know that anything has happened. The _Westminster_’s man is unaware of the privileges of our profession. He thinks we must stick to the facts, when we use them, and not profane them; whereas by the privileges of our order we are independent of facts; we care nothing for them, in a really religious way. If in their integrity they will not work into our scheme with the kind of effect which we wish to produce, we re-arrange them to meet the requirements of the occasion. When we are hot with the fires of production we would even distort the facts of the multiplication table, let alone the facts of Genesis… —Mark Twain _Autobiography_, Vol. II p. 167 (Entry for August 10, 1906) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/39 "2013-12-23T02:38:17Z")
To continue… All the smokeholes were dark. Quiet snow filled the Mall All the _Geats_ were dreaming sweet dreams after all. When he came to the first family’s corner in the Hall “This is stop number one,” The old Grendel hissed And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. Thenb he crept through the hole, a rather tight handle, But, if Alfothr could do it, then so could Grendel. He got stuck only once, one his way to his goal Then he stuck his head out of the rooftop smoke hole. And he saw the _Geat_ clothing strung out in a row “This clothing,” he grinned," is the first thing to go!" Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile like Grey Poupon Around the whole corner, and he took every weapon! Brystharnisk! and Skjold! Lanse ! and Okse! Dolke! And svaerd! And Stridshandske! And he stuffed them in bags. Then Grendel , with great craft, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, through the draft! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845/40 "2013-12-23T02:55:39Z")
Then he slunk to the storage-pity. He took the _Geat’s_ feast! He took the _Geat_-pudding! He took the Roast Beast! He cleaned out the stone-lined hole, with a Grendelly snarl. Why Grendel even took their last piece of _kaestur hakarl_! Then he stuffed all the food up the smokehole with glee “And NOW!” grinned Grendel ,“I will stuff up the tree!” And Grendel grabbed the tree, and he started to shjove When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small _Geat_! Little Cindy-Lou _Geat_, who was very petite.\* Grendel had been caught by this tiny _Geat-dottir_ Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water. She stared at Grendel and said “Alfothr, why, _Why_ are you taking our Jul Log? WHY?” But you know, that old Grendel was so smart and so slick He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! “Why my sweet little _barn_,” the vfake Odinn he lied, "I’m afraid that this log will not light on this side. "So I’m taking it back to my workshop, my dear. “I’ll fix it up _there_. Then I’ll bring it back _here_.” And his _saga_ fooled the child. The he patted her head And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed. And when Cindy-Lou _Geat_ went to bed with her cup, HE went to the chimney and stuffed the log up!" Then the _last_ things he took Were the logs for the fire! Then he went up the smokehole himself, the old thing. On the walls he left nothing but smoked and some string And the one speck of food That he left in their place Was a crumb that was even too small for a _mus_. \*Thanks to Prof. Pepperwinkle Full disclosure, and odd fact – My father-in-law actually named his youngest daughter, Pepper Mill’s youngest sister, Cynthia Louise, so that her name would be Cindy-Lou. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-beowulf/675845.md?page=3)