[quote=“CalMeacham, post:38, topic:675845”]
“Geats” is funnier than “Danes”
That’s what we call a cop out.:dubious:
[quote=“The_Real_Ribeye, post:41, topic:675845”]
True, though. And the reason I did it (although I didn’t consider the thing carefully, I admit)
I have to try and finish this up. Tonight’s Christmas Eve!
Then
He did the same thing
to the other Geat’s bays
Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the other Geat’s strays!
And the last thing he did
That nasty old Grendel
Was to pull the release
On the Hall’s Stay-Together Handle!
It was quarter past dawn…
…All the Geats, still a-bed,
…All the *Geats[/I, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their vaben, their scepter, the brystharnisk!
The rune! The armeret middelalderhandske!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of *Yding Skovhøj *,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to disgorghe!
“Weet-Weet to the Geats!” he was Grendelly humming,
"They’re finding out now that no WinterJul is coming!
"They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll bleat!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or three
"Then the Geats down in Geat-land will all cry OH SHEET!
“That’s a noise,” Grinned Grendel,
“That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused. And Grendel put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow…
But the sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He started down at Geat-land!
Grendel popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Geat down in Geat-land, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without Heorot at all!
He HADN’T stopped WinterJul from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And Grendel, with his Grendel-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
"It came without laesion! It came without mjød!
“It came without Blod, Brandslukning, or øl!”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore,
Then Grendel thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Heorot,” he thought,"doesn’t come from a store.
“Maybe Heorot…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then…?
Well…in Geat-land they say
That Grendel’s small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minutre his heart didn’t feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the * våben*! And the food for the freast!
…and he…
…HE HIMSELF…!
Grendel carved the roast beast!
…clearly from a variant tradition for the Børn. The grownups kept the bloody version, with all the decapitations and such for their own amusement.
—with apologies to Dr. Seuss. And The Real Ribeye. And anyone else who might be offended.
Pepper Mill says I should declare this copyrighted. Unless that would get me in trouble with the Geisel estate.
Bump for Christmas Eve.
What a wonderful thread! I don’t know how I missed reading it before, but I’m glad it came back for christmas.
I have the feeling that Jabberwocky is just around the corner. Probably because I don’t have enough “classical” education to know what “vaben” and “spyd lanses” and “hovedbeklaedning” are.
And here is what the Geats sang:
"Seamus Heaney, Seamus Heaney
Welcome Welcome
God Jul day
Burton Raffel, Edwin Morgan, Frederick Rebsamen
God Jul Day!
Seamus Heaney, Seamus Heaney,
Welcome Heorot
On this day
Mike Alexander, David Wright
J.R.R. Tolkien
God Jul Day!"