# Dr. Seuss purity test

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-purity-test/129986>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 28, 2002, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-purity-test/129986 "2002-09-28T04:34:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2002, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-purity-test/129986/41 "2002-09-30T07:39:07Z")

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68%

But I have done it on a stage  
When I did, 'twas all the rage  
I got applause and raves and cheers  
But to di I needed the help of beers  
(I suppose I should note, to be fair  
We both had on our underwear  
It was a play, was all an act  
No real coitus occured, that is a fact.)

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**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2002, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-purity-test/129986/42 "2002-09-30T14:55:42Z")

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Hmmm. 18% or 16% if I really thought you cared. I interpretted some of them a little more so they didn’t really mean animals (like fox as a real hottie and a dog as a real non-hottie). Also, the child/underage things happened with other boys who were my age.

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**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-purity-test/129986/43 "2002-09-30T15:39:46Z")

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This thread reminded me of something I saw at the IMDb: a live-action [Cat in the Hat movie](http://us.imdb.com/Details?0312528) slated for next Christmas.

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**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\
**Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-purity-test/129986/44 "2002-10-03T02:13:30Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sublight \*  
> \*\*for **Kyomara**
> 
> Have you done it in the loo?  
> Have you done it at the zoo?
> 
> 66%, counting my interpretation of a fox. \*\*

I _have_!! I’ve _done_ it in the loo!  
I did it with a partner too!  
Yes, I _did_ it in the john,  
when my clothes were off, not on!!

thanks.

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**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\
**Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-purity-test/129986/45 "2002-10-03T03:11:21Z")

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Using strictly literal interpretations…  
38% pure.

But they left so much out!

Have you done it in the snow?  
Have you done it in a show? (a play…there was _supposed_ to be underwear under the sheets 😉 )  
Have you done it on a train?  
Have you done it in the cane?

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**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\
**Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-seuss-purity-test/129986/46 "2002-10-03T11:23:23Z")

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86%. That’s actually rather low. Some of it is very, ah, open to interpretation;)

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