# Dr. Snoreslots, or, How I learned to stop worrying and love the noise

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-snoreslots-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-noise/210442>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [October 30, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-snoreslots-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-noise/210442 "2003-10-30T14:33:42Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-snoreslots-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-noise/210442/21 "2003-10-31T16:06:32Z")

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_Originally posted by Libertarian_

> [@](#):
>
> **Garrote. What a wonderful word!**

I see silent screams,  
Red faces too,  
I see them blush  
From the garrote I’ve used  
And I think to myself  
“What a wonderful word”.

I see bug eyes blue  
And wires so tight,  
The arms they flay  
Grows weak their fight  
And I think to myself  
“Give it just one more twirl.”

The snores of the Daddys,  
So loud in the sky,  
I’ll remove from everyone’s ears  
If they’’ just bring me pie.  
I see scouts shaking heads,  
Saying “How loud you snooze”  
They’re really saying,  
“You sleep like I poos.”

I hear Webelos cry  
“Make the noise go”.  
They’ll sleep much more  
Than if I just plugged Dad’s nose.  
And I think to myself,  
Garrote’s a wonderful word.  
Yes, I think to myself,  
Garrote’s a wonderful word.

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**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\
**Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-snoreslots-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-noise/210442/22 "2003-10-31T16:21:31Z")

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**Lieu** could you possibly be **Sauron’s** long lost twin?

He routinely makes up parody songs using vegetables as the central theme.

That was just brilliant. 😃

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-snoreslots-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-noise/210442/23 "2003-10-31T16:42:29Z")

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Actually, there’s probably a greater chance that I’m one of his vegetables.

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**Author:** ![byter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@byter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/byter)\
**Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-snoreslots-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-noise/210442/24 "2003-10-31T19:09:47Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Ferret Herder \*  
> **(or a similar “stop grinding your teeth” which I might do in my sleep when I’m super-stressed).**

An ex used to do that sometimes. It sounded worse than fingernails across a blackboard. I swear I could almost hear her teeth cracking.

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**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\
**Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dr-snoreslots-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-noise/210442/25 "2003-10-31T21:40:49Z")

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I wear earplugs and **still** can’t sleep if my SO is snoring. He snores no matter what position he’s sleeping in. My only recourse is to nudge him (how hard depends on how many times I’ve previously nudged him) and then hope to God I manage to fall asleep before he starts up again.

Great OP though. 🙂

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