# Dream On, Fattie!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2003, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162 "2003-04-03T09:17:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/21 "2003-04-03T11:30:13Z")
Parodies must have a link back to the thread they are parodying, so unless dickwad here doesn’t know the freakin’ rules, he isn’t parodying. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/22 "2003-04-03T11:42:06Z")
Oh my, now _here’s_ a kid that bears a little investigation. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/23 "2003-04-03T11:54:45Z")
Oh for fucks sake. He’s the doctor with the hammer and you’re the dumb bastards don’t even realize you’re being manipulated. > [@](#): > > Especially in contrast to my svelte and able body. Who talks like that, really? That post was the funniest thing I had read in WEEKS, goddamn it. Two thumbs up. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/24 "2003-04-03T12:00:08Z")
I am not for one minute taking the OP at face value. True, he is writing the exact thing that many people truly _think_ and _believe_, but he is (in my opinion) being too transparent. The ones that sincerely believe this kind of shit try to cover up their attitude with a few careless disclaimers. The OP doesn’t really try to do that, or at least not well enough. ---
**Author:** ![jesseboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/90ced4/32.png) [@jesseboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesseboy)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/25 "2003-04-03T12:14:33Z")
Half parody, half serious. But it is not a troll! I am aware of the other threads, but i had no clue this would exact such violent reaction so quickly. It is half serious b/c this this did in fact happen and i remember thinking to myself “Hmmm…that girl actually thought she had a shot with me…interesting.” Who here has never had a thought like in a similar situation? But it is also a parody-do u honestly think i would write lines such as: “i love fat people. I do, really! They never fail to put a smile on my face and make me feel good about being healthy and thin. I cannot deny the quick, cheap thrill of seeing a cow lumber past me, when i go to the supermarket, for example.”,… in pure earnest? God, what kind of a monster do u think i am? Come on, people. Look at my other threads-i am not a trouble maker. I guess this is a taboo subject that one cannot mess around with, even in parody. If this pisses off the Mods, i am sorry. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/26 "2003-04-03T12:20:33Z")
**jesseboy** , I think you’re full of shit. Nice try, though. ---
**Author:** ![Deadly\_Nightlight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Deadly\_Nightlight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deadly_Nightlight)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/27 "2003-04-03T12:25:17Z")
Oh no! Don’t back off now! Thanks to you I have seen the error of my ways, In fact.\*\* S.F.N.B.B. Man\*\* And I really want to thank you for explaining how it should all work. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/28 "2003-04-03T12:39:35Z")
> [@](#): > > “Hmmm…that girl actually thought she had a shot with me…interesting.” Who here has never had a thought like in a similar situation? Well, I’ve never had a similar thought. I’m an old married lady now, but back in my single days I was occasionally asked out or chatted up by unattractive guys. This still happens once in a while, BTW, despite my advanced age. However, I have never, EVER thought, “Wow, _he_ thought he had a chance with _me_?” Never. Of course, maybe I’m not as ‘hot’ as you must be. Either that or I’m not a shallow, egotistical dickwad. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/29 "2003-04-03T12:47:37Z")
Its amazing how you can tell someones post count simply by the title of the thread. I knew as soon as I saw the title of this thread that this cat hadn’t been around long and had less then 50 posts. 2 words that are guarunteed to get you fucked on this board: Fattie and Faggot. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/30 "2003-04-03T12:48:14Z")
Lard brigade, lard brigade Don’t piss them off or you’ll be flayed Welts on your ass, you really deserve it If you chase those chubbies then you’re probably a pervert Lard brigade, lard brigade They drink Coke instead of Powerade Who are we to tell them how to be? Some of them look freaky but that could just be me. Rosie O’Donnell, Rosie O’Donnell Sexually attractive? That’s just wrong-el Pisspoor rhyming, shitty meter Poem about voracious eater Braxton Bragg, Braxton Bragg The SDMB sending jesse home in a bodybag Gone Chattanooga on your ass You dared make fun of a fatass, alas Rhyming dictionary, rhyming dictionary Iambic pentameter is totally unnecessary And so is having rhymes that scan I’m doing the best that I possibly can Really fat people, really fat people McDonalds their church, golden arches their steeple What the fuck? What the fuck? So hungry they could eat a toilet duck\* No point to this tale, no point to this tale Except to say… goddamn, that was one big whale Drinking ale, posting bail, Hellen Keller read in Braille So much padding, they aren’t frail, jesse my boy I must say vale Because you’re fucked, you truly are Enemies for life - you’ve left a scar On the hearts of the guys that can’t be weighed Except in tons - the lard brigade. - a toilet duck is a blue freshener type thing you place at a strategic location in your shitter. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/31 "2003-04-03T12:57:14Z")
> [@](#): > > I guess this is a taboo subject that one cannot mess around with, even in parody. If this pisses off the Mods, i am sorry. Well, it was actually LESS assholish than some other OPs on the subject, so it’s not particularly obvious that it’s a parody. Which subject do you think is taboo? Dating? Fat people? Or “I can’t believe a fat person would be so completely and utterly clueless and stupid as to think that I would ever lower myself to going out on a…a…a DATE with her?” I don’t know that I would say that subject is **taboo** ; I’d just say that the person who utters that phrase - or one like it - has made everyone on the planet slightly stupider by existing on it with them. I doubt the mods are pissed, really; just warily and wearily keeping their eyes open to see if you start any more “parody” threads that are virtually indistinguishable from trolling posts. However, I’m pretty sure - only _pretty_ sure, but still - that every **regular user** who’s read this thread would fail to mourn if you suffered a minor disaster which rendered you incapable of reproducing. I was just going to report the OP to a mod, but since you’ve insisted that you’re not trolling, I have to assume that you’re merely a waste of skin. Also, I have nothing against high schoolers…but you might consider cutting down on your mall time and doing a little bit of work on your interpersonal relationships. I don’t KNOW that this…person is in high school, but what with being at the mall, abbreviating “you” to “u,” and trendily replacing “f” with “ph,” it seems like a good way to bet. ---
**Author:** ![Deadly\_Nightlight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Deadly\_Nightlight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deadly_Nightlight)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/32 "2003-04-03T12:58:12Z")
If there really is a Lard Brigade can I be a captain 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/33 "2003-04-03T12:59:22Z")
**jesseboy** - It’s not the mods you have to worry about. It’s the other members, and what they are going to react to. **Stinkpalm** is right, there are certain topics that are ‘hotbutton’ issues that if brought up, will cause a shitstorm. Any negative portrayal of overweight or “unattractive” people is a big one. There are a lot of people here with strong personalities who are also overweight, and they take anything generic about being overweight as a personal attack. It would be in your best interest to remember this. Even though you may be right, the vast majority of people in your age range probably think just like you posted, but it’s still not a good thing to discuss publicly. The other sterotype to avoid would be homosexuality, or anything negative of it. There are several very openly gay Dopers who will lead an uphill charge with the Rainbow Banner to combat bigotry and prejudice (and good on them, says I) when they see it here. The problem, of course, is that some of them take things a tad to seriously… but that is the cost of being a warrior for a cause. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/34 "2003-04-03T13:01:44Z")
You’re going to be a hit out in the real world. ---
**Author:** ![Deadly\_Nightlight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Deadly\_Nightlight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deadly_Nightlight)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/35 "2003-04-03T13:08:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tristan \* > \*\ ***jesseboy** - It’s not the mods you have to worry about. It’s the other members, and what they are going to react to. **Stinkpalm** is right, there are certain topics that are ‘hotbutton’ issues that if brought up, will cause a shitstorm. > > Any negative portrayal of overweight or “unattractive” people is a big one. There are a lot of people here with strong personalities who are also overweight, and they take anything generic about being overweight as a personal attack. It would be in your best interest to remember this. Even though you may be right, the vast majority of people in your age range probably think just like you posted, but it’s still not a good thing to discuss publicly. > > The other sterotype to avoid would be homosexuality, or anything negative of it. There are several very openly gay Dopers who will lead an uphill charge with the Rainbow Banner to combat bigotry and prejudice (and good on them, says I) when they see it here. The problem, of course, is that some of them take things a tad to seriously… but that is the cost of being a warrior for a cause. \*\* I was just getting ready to make a joke about the “charge of the lard brigade” when I read this. I personally do not care if he finds fat people attractive or not- But I do have issues with his statement about how fat people should only stay with fat people. I refuse to believe that alot of skinny people have the same views as Jesse, I was once a skinny person( well alot skinnier than I am now) and I never thought like that, nor would it appear any of my friends, boyfirends, or family. We could possibly be the minority though. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/36 "2003-04-03T13:10:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Tristan wrote: > > There are a lot of people here with strong personalities who are also overweight, and they take anything generic about being overweight as a personal attack. “Generic”? Generic assholishness, you mean? I don’t think that jessieboy was talking about any fattie on this board, but I do think that he’s got a sucky attitude. It’s a sucky attitude when someone spouts off about their disdain for any particular group of people, even in a “generic” way. A lot of us will let someone know when we think they are being mean-spirited. It doesn’t have to mean that we are being a “warrior for the cause”, or that we take things too seriously—sometimes it just means that we don’t tolerate assholes very well. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/37 "2003-04-03T13:53:14Z")
People people people!Didn’t you see the sign?_points to the sign,writ in HUGE print_ **Do not feed the Trolls** IDBB ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/38 "2003-04-03T14:03:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by I\_Dig\_Bad\_Boys \* > \*\*People people people!Didn’t you see the sign?_points to the sign,writ in HUGE print_ > **Do not feed the Trolls** > > IDBB \*\* Yeah…you assiduous rules-follower, you. Nice sig. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/39 "2003-04-03T14:07:23Z")
_bows_Thanks,Hama. I read the OP,bit my lip and didn’t take the so-well placed bait and said what needed to be said.That’s all.No need to get snarky about it.🙂 IDBB ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162/40 "2003-04-03T14:10:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Nice sig. IDBB, did you not take Lynn’s advice when she asked you to shorten your sig? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dream-on-fattie/166162.md?page=3)