I have to agree that AA isn’t for everybody. I haven’t tried it but just looking at the steps is enough for me to know it wouldn’t work.
I’d have a hard time getting passed step 2.
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”.
The only thing that could restore me to sanity is myself. Not some “greater power”.
I’d never get passed step 3.
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”.
There is no god so step 3 is impossible.
Basically, AA is way too religious for me. 7 of the 12 steps mention god or a higher power. Although there are some good ideas in AA, relying on a mythical creature to cure your weakness is in itself, pretty weak. Just IMO of course.
OK, look. Someone is having a problem and is in need of help. Kindly take your AA and theistic debates elsewhere. Hijacking a thread like this for those purposes is extremely self-centered and insensitive, IMO. :mad:
May I suggest the OP check out the following two posts:
The first I posted the day I absolutely knew I had to stop drinking. My life was in a shambles, I was about to lose my job, I was sick and shaking, I wanted to die, and I was scared shitless.
The second I posted after only six months of sobriety.
I now have over ten months’ sobriety. (For the record, this is my “second” sobriety.) I am happy, joyous and free now. I feel better than I have in five years. Of course life still has its problems - but nothing seems insurmountable anymore, the way everything did then.
No matter how bad things were for me, how pathetic I was, and how hopeless things seemed then, my fervent hope today is that sharing my experience can benefit someone who now finds him or herself in that very dark place.
Without trying to belittle the severity of “blackouts”–which I will understand as: lack of recollection of events that occured while intoxicated–and that are due to the intoxication itself and not just ‘I have a bad memory’.
I know several successful people that drink to excess and experience “blackouts”.
This goes along the lines of: “you’re making out with some chick last night and you don’t remember it”.
But the next morning it’s business as usual at work.
Is this an example of a highly functional alcoholic or someone with a problem?
Maybe a highly functional alcoholic IS a problem, but where are they going to identify themselves?
I’m willing to bet they are not going to 12 step AA.
And which brings me to 12 step AA, if you are agnostic–how is 12 step going to help you.
What if I am a hard-core alcoholic and I don’t believe in God? I;m kinda stuck on one of the first steps.
I’ve known people who were able to work the AA program just fine without believing in God. Some use the group as their higher power–it’s a group of people who have stopped drinking, so there is more power in the group than in any one person. One place where I used to go to meetings, there was even an atheists group that met–I don’t know exactly how they worked around it, but clearly those folks found enough of value in the AA program to adapt it to their own needs. If you genuinely can’t get past the God thing, there are other recovery programs, though since I haven’t had any experience with them, I can’t tell you anything about them.
Are blackouts a sign of a problem? Yes, without a doubt. With the exception of people with a rare medical condition known as “pathological intoxication”, mild or truly social drinkers don’t get blackouts. Many people who drink more heavily, however, have blackouts. Blackouts are typically a sign that a drinker is starting to pass from being an alcohol abuser to alcohol dependent, but that line is very fuzzy and can take years to cross.
Many people who are not yet alcoholics have blackouts. Many people who are full-blown alcoholics don’t have blackouts. I have had numerous clients who are alcohol dependent who have not had blackouts. My father was also an interesting case. He drank abusively and alcoholically for decades. He eventually became a maintenance drinker… drinking off and on 24/7 to maintain a steady buzz. It wasn’t until within 3-4 years of his death (cirrhosis), however, that he had his first blackout. He would drive, go on errands, cook full meals… and have absolutely no clue what he had been doing, sometimes for a period of hours before he would ask about his activities. His tolerance was so high that he didn’t look stereotypically intoxicated. About two years after he started having blackouts, his tolerance crashed almost to zero-level. The last two years of his life were the only time I ever saw my father stereotypically drunk (speech slurred, falling down, walking into walls). When I got sober myself, I had to remember that my father didn’t show a typical early pattern of blackouts… and neither did I. The fact that I wasn’t a textbook case helped keep me in denial for a long time.
kgriffey79, this is happening because your brain is reacting to the alcohol and giving you a sign that it’s time to stop doing what you’re doing. Do you have to stop completely? I can’t say, but I would serously encourage you to have an assessment done by a substance abuse professional in your community. Talking 1:1 with a professional and being completely honest in answering the questions asked of you can give you some perspective and direction with this. All my very best to you.
Blackouts are indicative of a problem; Drinking in the face of repeated blackouts is confirmation of a serious problem. Just stop drinking, any way you can!
True dat. I once went from Columbus, Indiana to Seymour, Indiana (which is only a distance of about 19-20 miles by I-65) during a blackout. Here’s the kicker, though: it wasn’t by car. I didn’t drive to the party, and no one saw me leave with anyone, or with anyone’s keys. I called my best friend after coming to, and his first question was “where are you?” Closely followed by “how the f*ck did you get THERE?”