# Drivers license/relationship **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2023, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918 "2023-11-30T19:06:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2023, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/61 "2023-12-01T21:03:31Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Maybe he’s a genius, the type who forgets to wear pants today. We aren’t inherently bad people, y’know. Cold? Yeah. Maybe a little. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2023, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/62 "2023-12-01T21:12:44Z")
Younger people’s general anxiety rates are higher worldwide. This article (quoted/reproduced all over, if you want to try to find the original) reflects this in relation to driving: [https://www.thezebra.com/resources/research/teen-driving-fears/](https://www.thezebra.com/resources/research/teen-driving-fears/) I’ve had two friends, not young, with severe specific driving phobias. As a counselor, I worked with a reasonable number of people who were afraid that if they drove, they’d turn the wheel and drive off a cliff or bridge. That said, the OP is 2-part; this is about fear, and not about non-disclosure. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2023, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/63 "2023-12-01T21:18:44Z")
Put your pants on!!😊 ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2023, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/64 "2023-12-01T21:36:16Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > The lil’wrekker told me this morning the woman told her it started with being embarrassed about it. And it just snowballed. Does the lil’wrekker know she _has_ absolutely, baldfacedly lied to him on this point? One possibliity - apart from obliviousness - is that he has twigged to it, doesn’t really care about it but senses her embarrassment, and wants to her to be able to save face as much as possible, so he doesn’t go there himself. I haven’t met very many people who were sensitive and thoughtful to that degree, but I have known a few. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2023, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/65 "2023-12-01T21:39:26Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > WEEEOOOWEEEOOOWEEEOOO > > When you have to get your friend’s parents on board with keeping a secret from your boyfriend, you’ve stepped into it deep. He may already know and already think it’s not a big deal, but she is actively deceiving him and thinks it’s a big deal to keep up the deception. > > It’s not necessarily a deal breaker, but it ain’t good. Yeah seconded. That’s a lot sketchier. Still my money is he knows. @Beckdawrek should get a few drinks in him and then just flat out ask him “You know she doesn’t have a driving license, right?” 🙂 (j/king should not actually do this) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2023, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/66 "2023-12-01T21:39:30Z")
Well, I _know_ she’s lied. She asked me, through the lil’wrekker not to mention it in front of him. To me it’s omission, which technically is a lie. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/67 "2023-12-02T06:14:27Z")
So, we are all assuming that she has never driven his car. The whole thing makes a lot more sense if, at some point, for whatever reason, she did in fact take his car somewhere. That’s the only reason I can think of for this to have to remain a closely-held secret. But then, if she can operate a motor vehicle, why doesn’t she just go take the dang test? It’s just not that difficult. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/68 "2023-12-02T06:30:09Z")
I was told she’s never driven a car. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/69 "2023-12-02T06:43:41Z")
Well, that’s both better and worse, I guess. Tell lil’wrecker to bring her home for a few days, and just teach her! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/70 "2023-12-02T07:40:18Z")
I’m afraid teaching a new driver is just outta my reach these days. The lil’wrekker wouldn’t let her drive her car. At. All. She guards it jealously. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/71 "2023-12-02T14:55:39Z")
Just as a point of information, I have lived in San Francisco for 35 years and have not driven since I moved here. I walk and use public transportation exclusively. While in the Bay Area (not on vacation elsewhere), I am only inside a personal vehicle two or three times a year, when hanging out with friends who drive. I have never used a rideshare in the Bay Area, and the last time I took a taxi was around five years ago. I can get anywhere I want to go, it just takes a little more time and planning. I did get a driver’s license at 16 at the insistence of my father, and drove for a few years after that. But I was never comfortable driving. I have a severe astigmatism and difficulty judging distances; combined with anxiety that made it easy to give up driving when I moved to San Francisco. I’ve never intentionally lied or hidden the fact that I don’t drive, but it isn’t the first thing I think to tell people either. OTOH, I’ve never used anyone as a driver. ---
**Author:** ![Oooklout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ba8739/32.png) [@Oooklout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oooklout)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/72 "2023-12-02T15:07:51Z")
Try Airpod pros in Transparency mode. Uncanny extraction of speech from clutter. Can boost HF as well. Not FDA approved so no UK folks born pre WWII often just drove, no licence, esp if farmers or military, but still eventually needed and got a licence without a test. ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/73 "2023-12-02T15:28:15Z")
This whole story is so ridiculous that I’m going to put my devil horns on, stand on your shoulder, and encourage you to blow this whole charade wide open. You’re distant enough from the relationship to claim “Whoopsie!” and not suffer too much in the way of immediate consequences, and in the long run everyone will thank you for putting an end to one of the dumbest long-term lies we’ve ever heard of. Please let it slip in front of everyone and report back the results. For science. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/74 "2023-12-02T15:54:30Z")
Oh for pity’s sake, apparently the young lady has gotten this far in life without a car or DL so of course her family friends and lover know of her situation. It may be a sore subject and one she’d rather not discuss with the Wreckers at their TDay feast. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/75 "2023-12-02T16:24:29Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > OTOH, I’ve never used anyone as a driver. While maybe a bit OT, neither have I. I did, however, once attempt to use an acquaintance as a [**pitching wedge**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitching_wedge). So … y’know … join the club. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/76 "2023-12-02T16:50:14Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > I did, however, once attempt to use an acquaintance as a [**pitching wedge**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitching_wedge) I once tried to use a driver as a chauffeur, but it was not successful, even though I thought it was in the bag. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/77 "2023-12-02T16:58:06Z")
> [@Kropotkin](#): > > > [@DavidNRockies](#): > > > > I did, however, once attempt to use an acquaintance as a [**pitching wedge**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitching_wedge) > > I once tried to use a driver as a chauffeur, **but it was not successful** , even though I thought it was in the bag. - What do you do now, just putter around? ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/78 "2023-12-02T17:13:50Z")
You’re trying to tee me off, right? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/79 "2023-12-02T17:17:42Z")
> [@Kropotkin](#): > > You’re trying to tee me off, right? - That’s a hole-in-one. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2023, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drivers-license-relationship/993918/80 "2023-12-02T17:21:12Z")
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