Driving Don'ts

Don’t get a blowjob while trying to drive. I know it’s supposed to be this super hot thing to do but in reality it’s horrible any way you look at it. For one, how can you truly enjoy a bj if you have to devote your awareness and concentration to driving? Conversely, how can you drive safely if you are distracted by getting a blowjob at the same time? In theory it might sound appealing but in reality it sucks (lame pun actually intended).

Forget that–don’t GIVE a blowjob while trying to drive!

I’d say this – the only situation in which the left lane is even conceivably reserved for passing is on a limited-access highway with at least three lanes in the same direction and no exit ramps on the left. Surface street, highway with only two lanes in the same direction or with left exits, any situation in which it’s even conceivable for someone to need the left lane for something other than overtaking, etc., the left lane is fair game for just driving and not passing. Sole exception – when there’s an actual law that says you can only be in the left lane to pass – and that’s in a minority of jurisdictions.

It’s super awesome that it works fantastically in computer simulations. Problem is, real people have to do it in real life, and that’s where it all breaks down.

Like communism, it’s a great theory, but it just doesn’t work in real life because… people. If everyone’s on the same page in the same book, yeah, it would work beautifully, but in reality, everyone’s on a different page, reading from wildly different books. All it takes is one timid driver, or one aggressive driver, and the whole thing instantly falls apart.

I think the timid driver in this situation is worse. Drives me nuts when there is a smooth merge lane, busy traffic, and some clown stops with 500m to go in the merge lane and tries to get into the traffic lane at virtually a right angle. All the traffic behind them comes to a screeching halt.

Just everyone go up to the merge area and merge! Take turns! One, then the other! IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!

You mean in all 50 states?

Ha! Touche!

Rush hour traffic. You come up to an intersection, but because of traffic volume only a few cars can inch through the intersection. The light turns yellow, and instead of stopping and waiting, Mr/Mrs InAHurry pulls into the middle of the intersection because they are too important to wait for the next light cycle.
Now the traffic going the other way has to wait for you to clear the intersection before they can go, even though their light is green.
Thanks for the gridlock, asshole.

You should be embarrassed to cite that source for your proposition.

“Slower traffic keep right” is not equivalent to “left lane for passing only.”

Yep, all the signs and indications that they are going to have to merge just doesn’t work for some people. They don’t realize it until they have no more lane to drive on.

If the road is not crowded, it is general better to start moving over early. People can keep the speed limit and don’t create a hazardous situation when all of a sudden a choice between cut someone off of put on the brakes.

Driving all the way down the “Left Lane Must Turn Left” lane and then cutting over into the real lane at the end, in front of the cars going straight is NOT a zipper merge.

If the sign says “Right Lane for Exit Only,” then driving down that lane until the last moment and then forcing yourself into the through lane is NOT a zipper merge.

If you are in the lane that says “Exit Only,” or “Must Turn” there is only one legal move. Here’s a hint: it’s right there on the sign.

I’m all for a zipper merge, when two through lanes are becoming one through lane. I even understand that there is a grace period for getting over once the lane you are in suddenly becomes an exit only lane. That can catch anyone by surprise. Sure. But that does not give you the right to run all the way to the front and cut into the line of cars. Once you are committed to the “Exit Only” lane, you need to exit.

I don’t why they put up a zillion signs around construction and lane closures, but I’ve never seen one that say “Zipper merge ahead, stay in two lanes until you merge” with a simple diagram.

I really try hard to keep my eyes on the car in front of me when driving.

An example of where I almost got caught:

Driving west and turning left southbound. The southbound is two lanes so I’m turning into the left lane. A medium sized bus eastbound is turning right into the right lane… the problem is that the bus can’t make the corner without swinging into my lane. I’m going WTF and my instinct is to step on it to get ahead of the bus. Fortunately I looked ahead and the lady in front of me (also left turning) had stepped on the brake even though she was mostly ahead of the turning bus. Stomped on the brakes just in time.

You mean like this and this?

My pet peeve is people who DO use their turn signals, but turn them on way too damn early. They’re obviously thinking “Hey, there’s my turn up there two blocks ahead, I’d better start signalling!” In the meantime, someone only one block ahead might see that they are signalling to turn (right) and pull out in front of them. DON’T SIGNAL until it’s close to where you are going to turn.

I’ve seen dash cam videos of people willing to dent their own vehicle rather than let one of these last-second mergers in. I mean, it’s a shitty thing to drive all the way to the end before merging, but do you really think it’s worth denting your car to perhaps save 3 seconds of your commute?

I browse road rage videos occasionally, and it’s absolutely nuts what people in cars do to one another. You would never ram someone in the grocery store with your cart, yet it happens on the road!

I’m not understanding this. Unless it’s a right turn only lane, I can either turn right or go forward. It doesn’t matter whether someone behind me wants to turn right or not. Are you talking about someone using a right turn only lane as an illegal passing lane?

I’ve driven in the two-lane sections of I-5 often enough to really appreciate folks who pay attention and get to the right if someone faster comes up behind them. Life is so much better when that happens.

I have sometimes felt a little bit bad for parking-lot stalkers who creep along behind me as I cross from the store exit into the crowded parking lot, and walk along the nearest line of parked cars…

…and then cross over to the next lane of parked cars…

…and the next, and the next…

…and right out of the parking lot to the pedestrian walkway leading to the bus stop where I’m going to catch my bus.

But only a little bit. Especially when there are actually quite a few parking spots out by the edge of the lot that they could have parked in five minutes ago instead of trying to trail me to my nonexistent vehicle.

Well, perhaps a link from MIT is more reliable?

I went through many of the links and found at least 10 states that have a law that states

"(a) Upon all roadways of sufficient width a vehicle shall be driven upon the right half of the roadway, except as follows:

(1) When overtaking and passing another vehicle proceeding in the same direction under the rules governing such movement;

(2) When an obstruction exists making it necessary to drive to the left of the center of the highway; provided, any person so doing shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles traveling in the proper direction upon the unobstructed portion of the highway within such distance as to constitute an immediate hazard;

(3) Upon a roadway divided into 3 marked lanes for traffic under the rules applicable thereon; or

(4) Upon a roadway designated and signposted for one-way traffic."

IOW, keep right except to pass.

The answer depends on your jurisdiction. Here in Maine, for example, we have a state-wide law that mandates staying in the right-most lane except to overtake slower vehicles, and that law applies only on highways with a speed limit of 65 miles per hour or more, no matter how many lanes there are. They do, however, use the “keep right except to pass” regulatory sign on some highways where the speed limit is less than 65.

Nearby Massachusetts, however, mandates keeping right on all roads (cite), not just highways of a certain speed, and as in Maine, the number of lanes is irrelevant, they want you all the way over to the right unless you have a valid reason not to be.

That said, I’ve never heard of anyone being ticketed for violating this rule, either.

There are two places on my commute home where the entrance lane on the freeway continues for over a mile before requiring a merge to the left. People insist on getting over immediately. Often crossing a solid line to do so, and always going slower than prevailing traffic. Unless traffic is stop-and-go, then they just cut in. This isn’t just a sometimes thing either, but most cars doing it every day. The cars that actually continue straight can pass a mile of traffic before it’s time to zipper merge, and yet, the stupidity persists.