# Druken Bikini Rage - Now With Pictures! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 6, 2007, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924 "2007-04-06T01:11:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/1 "2007-04-06T01:11:15Z")
> [@](#): > > MASON, Ohio (April 5) - A man wearing a woman’s wig and a string bikini was charged with taking a drunken afternoon romp through a park, officials said. [A picture is worth a thousand words. This one is priceless.](http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/man-charged-with-drunken-romp-in-bikini/20070405154009990002?ncid=NWS00010000000001) ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/2 "2007-04-06T01:16:15Z")
Clicking on that link is the equivalent of sticking your head into a mysterious hole in a dark box when someone inside whacks you in the face with a dead fish. No one ever expects that. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/3 "2007-04-06T01:25:54Z")
Uncle Steve! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Aioua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@Aioua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aioua)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/4 "2007-04-06T01:41:00Z")
The pink flip-flops tie the whole outfit together. The wig, on the other hand… ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/5 "2007-04-06T01:45:15Z")
[QUOTE=Aioua] The pink flip-flops tie the whole outfit together. The wig, on the other hand… [/QUOTE] Nooooooo! The pink really clashes with the red! Do you have no taste? But I do agree about the wig – brunette or black would suit him, but blonde: no way! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/6 "2007-04-06T01:49:58Z")
Is he …_augmenting_ things in a couple of places? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/7 "2007-04-06T01:53:57Z")
[QUOTE=cmyk] Clicking on that link is the equivalent of sticking your head into a mysterious hole in a dark box when someone inside whacks you in the face with a dead fish. No one ever expects that. [/QUOTE] I thought no one ever expected the Spanish Inquisition. And now I must run really fast. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/8 "2007-04-06T01:59:09Z")
The guy was _romping_. It’s not as if he was rampaging, marauding or even galavanting. It was just a little romp. Where’s the harm? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/9 "2007-04-06T02:46:15Z")
It’s because he was romping in front of children, and we can’t have that. The innocent darlings must never suspect that there are grown men who, for whatever reason, will put on a bikini and romp. More details [here.](http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070404/NEWS01/304030027/-1/CINCI) > [@](#): > > …Cole was arrested after a Mason father enjoying the balmy spring weather at the park spotted him and called police. > > “It was like this freak show,” said Troy Harphant, 35. “I was a little taken by surprise by what I’d seen there. It was out of place with what should have been going on over there, that’s for sure.” > > Harphant was at the park with his wife, Wendy, as they watched their daughter, Hayley, 6, zip around on a bike path on her pink Barbie Princess scooter. > > At least 100 other adults and children also were at the park, Harphant said. > > Harphant said he saw what appeared to be a naked person on the bike path, fondling or exposing himself or herself. The person seemed to be scared off moments later by a jogger. Little Hayley is probably scarred for life, the Barbie Princess scooter abandoned forlornly in the back yard as she broods up in her attic room on what she had witnessed that day. The horror… > [@Sunspace](#): > > Is he …augmenting things in a couple of places? He reportedly had a couple of tan-colored water balloons in the bra, if that’s what you mean. I think the beer gut is all his. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/10 "2007-04-06T03:10:20Z")
Oh my God. :eek: It’s the flip-flops. The flip-flops have broken the last remainding thread of sanity in my mind… ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/11 "2007-04-06T03:16:09Z")
Giggity giggity giggity! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/12 "2007-04-06T03:29:29Z")
The article says “Cole has been a Wayne Township firefighter since 2000.” I think it would have been more accurate to state “Cole was a Wayne Township firefighter from 2000 to 2007.” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/13 "2007-04-06T04:37:17Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Is he …_augmenting_ things in a couple of places? [/QUOTE] If you check out the [series of photos on thesmokinggun.com](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0405071drag1.html) you can see not only that he’s augmented himself, but _also_ that there’s an _open bottle of Budweiser next to a printer!_ 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Jimson\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@Jimson\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimson_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/14 "2007-04-06T12:39:55Z")
All I can see is a quick TV spot or billboard campaign for Southwest Airlines. His picture with “Need to Get Away” underneath. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/15 "2007-04-06T12:58:38Z")
It seems obvious to me that the outraged populace has never visited South Beach in Miami-Dade. I’ve seen guys there wearing one hell of a lot less. If they really want their brains jangled they should visit _Finochios_ in San Francisco, assuming it is still operating. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/16 "2007-04-06T13:29:05Z")
Funny, I thought Anna Nicole was dead. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/17 "2007-04-06T13:43:04Z")
[QUOTE=cmyk] Clicking on that link is the equivalent of sticking your head into a mysterious hole in a dark box when someone inside whacks you in the face with a dead fish. No one ever expects that. [/QUOTE] Yes. Even Batman would have met defeat at this image. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/18 "2007-04-06T13:43:04Z")
Your honor, I move for a change of venue. ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/19 "2007-04-06T13:49:24Z")
Drunk is the only I’d ever be caught in an outfit like that. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924/20 "2007-04-06T13:54:53Z")
It says he’s a firefighter. I would have guessed lumberjack. Is that something in his bellybutton? :eek: He should have went with the leopard print. And I think the Bud is evidence. There’s a pic of it on the hood of his truck during the arrest. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/druken-bikini-rage-now-with-pictures/398924.md?page=2)