# Drummer jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 2001, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093 "2001-10-12T17:27:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/1 "2001-10-12T17:27:12Z")
Go. Why do drummers leave their sticks on the dashboard? So they can park in the handicapped spots! How do you get drummers to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of them! What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a drummer? A tattoo! ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/2 "2001-10-12T17:32:43Z")
What do you call a drummer that can read music? A percussionist. ---
**Author:** ![Oicu812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f475e1/32.png) [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/3 "2001-10-12T17:44:45Z")
Homeless. ## O Fighting What Since When? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/4 "2001-10-12T17:56:32Z")
An oldie but a goodie: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A Drummer. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/5 "2001-10-12T17:56:39Z")
Hear about the drummer who locked his keys in the car? The locksmith didn’t come for 3 hours and the interior got ruined, since it started to rain and he had left the convertible top down. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/6 "2001-10-12T17:58:03Z")
Or … How do you get a professional drummer off your front porch? Take your pizza and give him a tip. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/7 "2001-10-12T18:00:30Z")
How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They have machines for that now. ---
**Author:** ![Ferggie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Ferggie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferggie)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/8 "2001-10-12T18:00:38Z")
\ ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/9 "2001-10-12T18:12:12Z")
I was a music major in college and one of my professors was fond of saying > [@](#): > > It took me three years of college to find out that damn drummer were two seperate words. ---
**Author:** ![Iguana\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/10 "2001-10-12T20:09:03Z")
This guy walks into a shop and says, “I want some strings for a Bender Splattoblaster, please.” The assistant says, “You’re a drummer, aren’t you?” The guy says, “Yeah, how did you know?” “This is a fruit shop.” ---
**Author:** ![drollman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f04885/32.png) [@drollman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drollman)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/11 "2001-10-12T20:29:23Z")
Did you hear about the drummer that graduated high school? Me, neither. * * * ---
**Author:** ![drollman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f04885/32.png) [@drollman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drollman)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/12 "2001-10-12T20:35:25Z")
Did you hear about the drummer that graduated high school? Me, neither. * * * ---
**Author:** ![drollman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f04885/32.png) [@drollman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drollman)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/13 "2001-10-12T20:44:52Z")
How 'bout the drummer that posted the same reply twice? “Oops. I meant to do a drum fill there…” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/14 "2001-10-12T20:53:10Z")
What’s the difference between a drummer and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/15 "2001-10-12T22:42:10Z")
OK, the first person to make a Neil Peart joke gets a royal ass-kicking from David B and myself. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/16 "2001-10-12T23:13:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*OK, the first person to make a Neil Peart joke gets a royal ass-kicking from David B and myself. 🙂 \*\* Who’s Neil Peart? Does he play in a band or something? ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/17 "2001-10-12T23:21:20Z")
Nah, he’s just a drummer. \ ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/18 "2001-10-12T23:56:36Z")
how can you tell if the drum platform is level? The drool comes out of BOTH sides of the drummers mouth ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/19 "2001-10-13T00:01:42Z")
What is the difference between Bigfoot and a drummer who can read music? One day we may find Bigfoot. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/20 "2001-10-13T00:04:22Z")
I won’t make Neil Peart jokes if nobody makes Ringo jokes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093.md?page=2)