# Drummer jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 2001, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093 "2001-10-12T17:27:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/21 "2001-10-13T00:29:13Z")
How do you know when a drummer’s at your door? The knocking speeds up. -alternate version- He doesn’t know when to come in. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/22 "2001-10-13T01:05:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mudshark \* > \*\*I won’t make Neil Peart jokes if nobody makes Ringo jokes. \*\* Wouldn’t that be a redundancy? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/23 "2001-10-13T04:55:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*Or … > > How do you get a professional drummer off your front porch? > > Take your pizza and give him a tip. \*\* That’s the one I was gonna tell! (As told by Bert Ziggen: "How do you get a bass player off your front porch? ::long pause:: PAY FOR THE PIZZA!) This shouldn’t be all that funny to me considering I deliver pizza but, ya know, fuck it. Here’s to you **Coldy** : How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five: one to change the lightbulb and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would’ve done it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/24 "2001-10-13T04:57:23Z")
shut up, bet you anything the guy who started this playes the flute. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/25 "2001-10-13T05:01:21Z")
Spoken like a true drummer. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/26 "2001-10-13T05:01:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by clayton\_e \* > \*\*shut up, bet you anything the guy who started this playes the flute. \*\* hahahahahaha. I’m glad I wasn’t drinking coke when I read this because I just got a new keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/27 "2001-10-13T05:52:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cisco \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > > \*\*Or … > > > > How do you get a professional drummer off your front porch? > > > > Take your pizza and give him a tip. \*\* > > That’s the one I was gonna tell! (As told by Bert Ziggen: "How do you get a bass player off your front porch? ::long pause:: PAY FOR THE PIZZA!) This shouldn’t be all that funny to me considering I deliver pizza but, ya know, fuck it. > \*\* Do you play bass, too? ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/28 "2001-10-13T14:43:46Z")
when he was a road band musician in the fifties: Send me five musicians and a drummer. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/29 "2001-10-13T14:48:40Z")
Okay, this guy dies and goes to heaven. While he’s talkng to St. Peter at the gates, he hears drumming. Incredible, outstanding drumming. The best drum solo he’s ever heard. So the guy says to St. Peter, “Hey, that drumming is just the best! That wouldn’t happen to be Buddy Rich, would it?” St. Peter sighs and says “no, it’s God. He just _thinks_ he’s Buddy Rich.” ---
**Author:** ![dunne\_u.wurrie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@dunne\_u.wurrie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dunne_u.wurrie)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/30 "2001-10-13T20:46:37Z")
What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool. ---
**Author:** ![headshok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@headshok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/headshok)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/31 "2001-10-13T21:00:02Z")
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it. ---
**Author:** ![Ripple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@Ripple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ripple)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/32 "2001-10-13T22:00:15Z")
Two girls are walking along when they hear… “Psst! Down here!” They both look down and see a frog sitting beside the road. The frog says to them, “Hey, if you kiss me I’ll turn into a world famous drummer and make you both rich and famous!” The two girls looked at each other, and one of them reached down and grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her pocket. The other girl said, “What did you do that for?” The first replied, “I’m not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth more than a famous drummer any day!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Rock-n-Rolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/22d042/32.png) [@Rock-n-Rolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock-n-Rolga)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/33 "2001-10-14T06:19:25Z")
How many drummers does it take to change a broken light bulb? Two, one to change it, and another to come along and break it again. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/34 "2001-10-14T06:51:46Z")
So these two drummers walk by a bar… (hey, it could happen) ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/35 "2001-10-14T08:20:01Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally Posted by JillGat_ > So these two drummers walk by a bar… Drummers walk? No, that wouldnt happen. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/36 "2001-10-14T08:21:32Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally Posted by JillGat_ > So these two drummers walk by a bar… Drummers walk? No, that wouldn’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![Junior\_Spaceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Junior\_Spaceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junior_Spaceman)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/37 "2001-10-14T13:13:00Z")
c/o my cousin - a drummer from wayback … Q: What’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? A: You only have to punch a rhythm once into a drum machine. ---
**Author:** ![Elvis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Elvis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elvis)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/38 "2001-10-14T17:31:17Z")
Q: What’s the last thing a drummer says to the rest of a band? A: “Guys, I’ve written some songs I think we ought to try…” ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/39 "2001-10-14T19:48:42Z")
I can’t believe I’m posting to this, since I’m a damn drummer…but… You’re driving down the road and you see Hitler and a drummer walking on the sidewalk. Which one do you run over first? The drummer…business before pleasure… \ ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093/40 "2001-10-14T21:23:09Z")
What do drummers use for birth control? Their personalities. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drummer-jokes/87093.md?page=3)