# Drunkest Man Ever attempts to by more beer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327 "2009-10-27T18:41:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/21 "2009-10-27T21:57:22Z")
I’d like to know… Anyone else doubt that was _just_ drunk? 8-ball? Too much ketamine? Profoundly fucked up. I hope that they called an ambulance for him, and weren’t just waiting for him to get it together enough to wander out into traffic. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/22 "2009-10-27T22:18:28Z")
I think there’s definitely more at work there than blind drunkenness. While balance always becomes an issue when you’re three sheets to the wind, I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I forgot which way “down” was. Plenty of times when I couldn’t help aiming at it though. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/23 "2009-10-27T22:41:36Z")
Here’s a version from [Red State Update](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx8kh0ZOqMQ). Red State Update is a couple of liberals pretending to be rednecks from Tennessee. They do political humor mostly. This one isn’t overly funny, but I like a lot of their stuff. Check them out. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/24 "2009-10-27T23:00:36Z")
Yeah, I’m thinking he has ingested way more than just alcohol. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/25 "2009-10-28T04:56:10Z")
To me it looks like he has a neurological problem on top of everything else. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/26 "2009-10-28T05:09:59Z")
He had the hands of an NFL wideout hanging onto that blue bowl on his way out, though. Props for that. And he kept trying to put it back. I have to agree with sad, and as I detox tomorrow, I can say with all honesty that I cannot ever recall being so wasted that I literally was trapped by the floor. That’s a whole 'nuther level of intoxication. ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/27 "2009-10-28T05:25:53Z")
The poor guy. He was like a turtle on an escalator - surrounded by an endless landscape of possibilities of ending up trapped on his back (i.e. level ground). ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/28 "2009-10-28T19:24:30Z")
I’ve been almost that drunk. I’ve had people come into my store, almost that drunk, and try to buy beer. Not only did I refuse, but twice, I called 911 simply because the customer was clearly a danger to himself. I mean, that guy in the video is almost guaranteed to get run over by a bus while walking home. Or kill a whole family while driving home. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/29 "2009-10-28T19:28:43Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Yeah, and that rack of Funyuns was OBVIOUSLY Photoshopped. I can tell by the pixels, and I’ve seen a lot of shops in my time. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/30 "2009-10-29T08:58:34Z")
I surely hope that guy wasn’t behind the wheel at any time before, after or for the next couple days. I just saved the video as a favorite though. It’ll come really handy as reference material if I have to animate a drunk character! ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/31 "2009-10-29T16:53:15Z")
> [@Ale](#): > > I just saved the video as a favorite though. It’ll come really handy as reference material if I have to animate a drunk character! If you redo “Take on Me” by A-Ha, with the drunk in the lead singer role, please send me a copy, because that just might be the funniest thing ever. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/32 "2009-10-29T17:01:36Z")
\*I’m walking away But I dunno which way is up I’ll walk anyway Slowly learning the cooler’s that way Grab me a six Oops, this case has made me lose my balance Drunk on beer (Drunk on beer) Need more beer (Need more beer) Can’t stand straight Here comes the flooooooooooooor!\* ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/33 "2009-10-29T18:48:10Z")
The guy looks extremely similar to a former coworker of mine. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/34 "2009-10-29T19:26:20Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > The guy looks extremely similar to a former coworker of mine. His general appearance or his odd gait? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/35 "2009-10-29T20:43:47Z")
> [@GESancMan](#): > > I love how the entire time he’s struggling on the floor, his hand _never leaves the beer_. As someone in recovery, I recall that level of attachment very well. 🙂 Yeah, that is prertty much what brought me to tears. Kind of reminds me of that old kid’s fable “The Cheetah And The Jar Of Marbles”. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/36 "2009-10-29T21:41:36Z")
So does anyone know who this Budweiser lover is anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/37 "2009-10-29T21:43:18Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > I’d like to know… > > Anyone else doubt that was _just_ drunk? > > 8-ball? Too much ketamine? > > Profoundly fucked up. I hope that they called an ambulance for him, and weren’t just waiting for him to get it together enough to wander out into traffic. Looks like an ether binge to me. I’ve seen poor idiots on ether with that little CNS control. Never that twitchy with alcohol. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/38 "2009-10-29T22:07:21Z")
More info with [this link.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhDh2KuFpEc) Stan, we need to talk. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/39 "2009-10-29T22:13:49Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > More info with [this link.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhDh2KuFpEc) > > Stan, we need to talk. A BAC of 0.491? I take it back. He has surprisingly _good_ motor skills for someone who should be dead. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327/40 "2009-10-29T22:19:16Z")
I don’t think Stanley is our mystery man - photos in the news look like a different guy. [RI cops arrest man with .491 blood alcohol level](http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/local/BO83135/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunkest-man-ever-attempts-to-by-more-beer/515327.md?page=3)