# Drunks on TV **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 3, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404 "2000-03-03T19:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47774/32.png) [@Otis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otis)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/1 "2000-03-03T19:07:00Z")
In order to do my part in adding to the useless clutter on the Internet, I’m going to put an homage to “Drunks on TV” on my site. The obvious ones that come to mind are Barney from the Simpsons, Norm from Cheers, and my namesake Otis from Andy Griffith. ## I appeal to all of you for help in producing others. I’m leaning more towards comical/happy drunks, so no Bailey from Party of Five and no Lifetime movie submissions please. Thanks. “Stop the rope and let me in or I’ll go out and get some gin” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/2 "2000-03-03T19:09:00Z")
Red Skelton, 'nuff said. * * * “Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.” Bob Dylan ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/3 "2000-03-03T19:10:00Z")
That Forster guy on the old Hollywood Squares * * * Teacher, my red crayon tastes funny – Ralph Wiggum ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/4 "2000-03-03T19:10:00Z")
Scotty from Star Trek. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/5 "2000-03-03T19:18:00Z")
How about Crazy Guggenheim from the old Jackie Gleason show, and a comedian named Foster Brooks who played the same drunk character in a lot of shows (he was Mindy’s boss in later episodes of Mork & Mindy.) * * * I understand all the words, they just don’t make sense together like that. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/6 "2000-03-03T19:27:00Z")
Were Larry, Darryl and Darryl from Newhart drunks? Or were they just hoboes, albeit sober ones? * * * Chaim Mattis Keller [ckeller@kozmo.com](mailto:ckeller@kozmo.com) “Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible. The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.” – Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/7 "2000-03-03T19:36:00Z")
Then there’s always Dirty Devil from “Cops”. . . . . . . . . . . ::running **very** far away… * * * “Don’t bother to pack your bags, Or your map. We won’t need them where we’re goin’, We’re goin’ where the wind is blowin’.” ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/8 "2000-03-03T19:52:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Democritus: > **::running very far away…** ## What, the ass-kicking I gave you last night wasn’t enough? I will have to kill you now, I hope you realize this. I’ll be home around 10:00. That gives you a little over 10 hours left. Enjoy them while you can, Sparky. Look, it’s people like you what cause unrest. ---
**Author:** ![Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stevie_Rave_On)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/9 "2000-03-03T21:00:00Z")
How about Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf that’s always on the Howard Stern show (It’s on E! every night so it’s on TV as well as radio) I don’t know how many Stern fans are out there, but the lifesize cardboard cutout of Hank in the pink bunny suit in the studio is hysterical. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/10 "2000-03-03T21:42:00Z")
Steve, the episode that the cut out was made from was a riot. Hank couldn’t even speak he was so wasted, and then wobbling around in the bunny suit, very funny. MoJo, busted out when I read that one. My favorite, while not on TV was Bluto Blutarski. Toga! Toga! ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/11 "2000-03-03T21:48:00Z")
Minor nit-pick: The guy from Hollywood Squares was Foster Brooks. * * * The odds that the bread will fall butter side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/12 "2000-03-03T23:01:00Z")
Henry Blake, Hawkeye Pierce, and Trapper John from _Mash_? At least, Henry. Karen from _Will and Grace_ Fun Bobby from _Friends_ What about a TV AA chapter: Grace Kelly _Grace Under Fire_ Tony Russo _Blossom_ Sam Malone _Cheers_ John Hemingway _The John Larroquette Show_ ---
**Author:** ![dwtno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@dwtno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwtno)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/13 "2000-03-04T00:07:00Z")
Don’t forget Deano! Dean Martin made a television career out of being tipsy. TV drunk tidbit: Dick van Dyke did a great drunk routine, but Carl Reiner could never figure out how to work it into the series. He finally wrote a story line where Rob is hypnotized into \believing\ he is drunk whenever he hears a bell. And much hilarity ensued… ---
**Author:** ![Otis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47774/32.png) [@Otis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otis)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/14 "2000-03-04T15:29:00Z")
Thanks for the great replies so far. I’m getting them all down, searching for pictures etc. In a feeble attempt to compete with threads started by, or about Mike what’s his name, I’d like to say, “back to the top.” * * * “Stop the rope and let me in or I’ll go out and get some gin” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/15 "2000-03-04T16:15:00Z")
Apocryphal story (or UL, if you prefer): Foster Brooks was on an airliner in the days before passengers were banned from the cockpit. As a joke, the crew let him get on the intercom to address the passengers. Taking on his “drunken” persona, he said: “Ladies an’ (hic) gennlmen, this is the (hic) captain speaking. We’re cruising along at 35,000 feet in a Boeing 707… (hic)… sorry, 727… I’ve never been in one of these before…” As for other drunks… there were drunken men who stared disbelieving at the antics of Samantha on _Bewitched_. ---
**Author:** ![Chrome\_Toaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Chrome\_Toaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chrome_Toaster)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2000, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/16 "2000-03-04T19:37:00Z")
Not a character on a show, and not even visible, but you could mention the announcer for the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. I swear, he became less and less intelligible as the event wore on. I am convinced he was sipping on **something** in his little announcer’s booth! Chrome Toaster ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/17 "2000-03-05T05:20:00Z")
Harry Karey! Okay, not a sit-com, but sure was drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/18 "2000-03-05T15:32:00Z")
Not a sit-com, but _Floyd On Food_. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/19 "2000-03-06T02:35:00Z")
more from movies than TV, I’m surprised I didn’t see **W.C. Fields** in this list. I’m hoping I just didn’t read closely enough. * * * Mayor of [Snerdville](http://fathom.org/snerdville), the home of Mortimer Snerd “I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.” –Wayne Knight ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404/20 "2000-03-06T03:17:00Z")
Larry King. As heard on this clip here. I hope this works. [a href=“[http://www.kiddkiss.com/cb1drunkdj.rdm](http://www.kiddkiss.com/cb1drunkdj.rdm)”]Click here [/a] And if that doesn’t work, try this: [http://www.kiddkiss.com/cb1drunkdj.rdm](http://www.kiddkiss.com/cb1drunkdj.rdm) I heard this on the radio and I thought it was an absolute hoot. At the end of are some other drunk deejays. * * * “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-on-tv/14404.md?page=2)