# Drunks - Post here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 7, 2002, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683 "2002-11-07T09:24:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/1 "2002-11-07T09:24:39Z")
There’s a rule against it right? Shouldn’t be done. Considering my sad state of affairs, I frequently come home alone feeling the urge to post. So if we’ve got to puke, why don’t we puke in the right place - this thread. Resist the temptation of trying to write something intelligent somewhere else - post here! Remember **UncleBeer** ’s monkey butler? That was brilliant. If there’s one thing I like it’s monkeys. Sad state of affairs, really, my life. I am attractive and get hit on and end up alone. If only I had a monkey butler most of my needs would be satisfied. A dog would help. Or if I lived in Brasil with a guy called João, swinging in a hammock. Instead, I’m in some wannabe Friends existence where everyone is young and beautiful and cool and miserable. What kind of shite is that? I’m posting here to strangers, cuz I like all y’all better than most. What does that say about me? Oh dear, perhaps this is too coherent to pass off as drunken babbling. Babble drunkenly, all of you! ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/2 "2002-11-07T10:43:28Z")
I have discovered that attempting to clean up one’s own vomit from the bathroom floor while the room is spinning is an exercise in futility. ---
**Author:** ![Aro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b3f665/32.png) [@Aro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aro)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/3 "2002-11-07T17:06:10Z")
They don’t let me drink at my work…☹ ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/4 "2002-11-07T17:08:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Remember UncleBeer’s monkey butler? That was brilliant. If there’s one thing I like it’s monkeys. Whoa, guess you _don’t_ actually remember the monkey butler. 🙂 That was most definitely **Homer** , not **UncleBeer**. Just FYI, of course. Must have been drunk when you posted it. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/5 "2002-11-07T17:24:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aro \* > **They don’t let me drink at my work…** Time to change jobs, then. Skoal! – Ukulele Ike, Air Traffic Controller ---
**Author:** ![gus28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6de8d8/32.png) [@gus28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gus28)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/6 "2002-11-07T18:24:58Z")
Ok, at what age (I’m 29) should a beer bong not be a part of my life? Is it better to go in to work on time still drunk, or late hungover? You mean, seriously, it’s supposed to be milk that goes on my corn flakes? And finally, yes, I am just hanging out at the 7-11 waiting for the time when you can sell beer again, and no,I’m not paying for this magazine… ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/7 "2002-11-07T18:39:01Z")
It’s been a helluva day . . . There’s a free wine tasting show tonight in town. . . In 5 1/2 hours, I’m gonna be _soo_ hammered. . . And what’s cool is that I have tomorrow off. 🆒 Tripler Tonight, I get culture _and_ free hooch! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/8 "2002-11-08T00:49:47Z")
hUh? * * * Damn! I have somehow forgotten to not become drunken again! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Magic8ball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Miss\_Magic8ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Magic8ball)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/9 "2002-11-08T03:35:36Z")
Hello, My name is Jaimee something or other. I am 15, in garde ten, and have come here to say something really important. _Long, pregnantpause_ I am an Alcoholic. Kinda. Sorta. well, on weekends, anyways. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/10 "2002-11-08T03:50:16Z")
I’ve been waiting since I saw this thread earlier this morning … hoping the mods would let it lie til I could get to it … I AM HERE! BOO-YAH! ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/11 "2002-11-08T05:06:17Z")
Yes, I’ve been to work drunk. And when you sell knives, that’s risky. Yes, my boss thought it was hilarious 😃 And now… for beer! ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/12 "2002-11-08T07:26:30Z")
I may be drunk, but in the morning I’ll be sober and you’ll still be ugly. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/13 "2002-11-08T08:08:30Z")
A friend of mine is wants to invent a breathalyzer to hook up to your computer. More evidence it’s needed. I can’t even bring myself to read what I wrote. My neighborhood bar now has a website. It’s clearly the most appropriate place to fulfill my drunken posting urges. No idea why I credited UncleBeer with the monkey butler post. Both names end in “-er” - that’s the best excuse I have. ---
**Author:** ![Drudgery\_With\_Intent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Drudgery\_With\_Intent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drudgery_With_Intent)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/14 "2002-11-08T08:31:54Z")
i don’t drink any more, though i don’t drink any less either… snowbanks can be quite comfortable to sleep on. ---
**Author:** ![effac3d](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@effac3d](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/effac3d)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/15 "2002-11-08T12:52:56Z")
Bloody marys followed by a bottle of southern comfort=waking up on the floor and finding your bathroom looks like a crime scene. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/16 "2002-11-08T22:25:32Z")
**Drudgery,** that is simply hilarious. I’m quoting you on that. Tripler That made my hungover day. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Magic8ball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Miss\_Magic8ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Magic8ball)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/17 "2002-11-09T03:46:54Z")
Bacardi 151 in shooters. Lighting them on fire before wwe shot them back. 1 big bottlebetween 3 of us. Messa is too thin to count as a person, so actually 2 of use. Good times. I’m living the high school life. ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/18 "2002-11-09T05:12:21Z")
I wasn’t a _bad_ drunk. I only drank under two conditions - when I was alone, or with somebody. ---
**Author:** ![Bullwinkle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Bullwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/19 "2002-11-09T05:34:48Z")
I keep a bottle of whiskey handy in case I’m frightened by a snake, which I also keep handy. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683/20 "2002-11-09T15:50:25Z")
**Magic8ball** , don’t worry to much. I used to think the same thing about myself when I was your age. Turns out I was just a drug addict. But, on a serious note, if it bugs you, talk to someone about it. I missed so many mondays in high school that I almost didn’t graduate even with a 3.89 GPA. My weekends were so harsh, i had to recoop on mondays, you see. And the blackouts (from mixing speed and whiskey) scared me, finally making me want help. So, if you were for real, hope it works out. To every one else, sorry 'bout the hijack. Some funny stuff being posted. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/drunks-post-here/135683.md?page=2)