# Dubious Baby Milestones

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 12, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186 "2014-02-12T20:45:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 9\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![kjbrasda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/74df32/32.png) [@kjbrasda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kjbrasda)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186/41 "2014-02-14T02:36:28Z")

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First time they find one of mommy’s toys and carry it around the house, inevitably when conservative company is over.

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**Author:** ![Lightlystarched](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Lightlystarched](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightlystarched)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186/42 "2014-02-14T02:48:26Z")

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The first time you drive all the way back somewhere to retrieve a favorite lovey.

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**Author:** ![Lightlystarched](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Lightlystarched](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightlystarched)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186/43 "2014-02-14T02:50:25Z")

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The first time you call in “sick” to work so you can enjoy a day at home ALONE while your child is at daycare.

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**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186/44 "2014-02-14T02:51:00Z")

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First time they find “down there”  
First time they see a person with an unfamiliar trait in public, and LOUDLY point it out.

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**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186/45 "2014-02-14T03:21:00Z")

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How about “you know you are a parent when …”  
You catch vomit. “Not on the couch!”

Discussing your child’s poop is fine conversation at a nice restaurant on date night.

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**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186/46 "2014-02-14T03:30:57Z")

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First time Mom/Dad drops their phone on Baby’s head.

First time Mom/Dad gives Baby the phone to appease him/her.

First time Baby gropes another woman’s chest.

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**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186/47 "2014-02-14T03:48:33Z")

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First time they pull a gun on you.

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**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186/48 "2014-02-15T05:21:45Z")

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First time they realise farts are funny.

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**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dubious-baby-milestones/681186/49 "2014-02-15T12:11:11Z")

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First time your kid corrects you and the little fucker is right.

First time your kid corrects you, is right and you admit it.

First time your kid gives you instructions while you help them do something.

> [@etv78](#):
>
> First time they find “down there”

That’s before birth.

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