# Duct taping cats **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [January 9, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169 "2001-01-09T16:06:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kid\_Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kid\_Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/1 "2001-01-09T16:06:44Z")
Loved the mental image this column created in my nasty little mind. The only thing better would be listening to cat owners whine about how we don’t understand their germ ridden little parasites. So go on. Vent. * * * Link to staff report: [Do cats have poison claws?](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mcatpoison.html) [Edited by C K Dexter Haven on 01-11-2001 at 05:52 AM] ---
**Author:** ![bungie\_us](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b38774/32.png) [@bungie\_us](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bungie_us)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/2 "2001-01-09T19:02:11Z")
I LOVE my little germ-ridden parasite. So, um, . . . you and what army? Oh, yeah? Yo mama! Let’s take it outside! Etc. But I have to admit, much as I like the little bastard, I do understand the concept of “Animal digs among its own feces; animal’s paws are septic. Duh.” It takes all kinds. On a related note, I have a friend who made a cat out of duct tape and a pillow his own cat had disemboweled. It’s pretty cool. He used a coupla marble for the eyes. The real cat won’t have anything to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/3 "2001-01-09T19:27:42Z")
I like all animals, but as long as we’re ranting about cats here… anyone have any idea of the impact of domestic cats on the native songbird population in the US? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/4 "2001-01-09T21:08:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*I like all animals, but as long as we’re ranting about cats here… anyone have any idea of the impact of domestic cats on the native songbird population in the US? \*\* Domestic cats are estimated to kill hundreds of thousands of songbirds in the U.S. each year. What effect that has on their populations relative to other sources of mortality (e.g. habitat destruction in both temperate and tropical areas) is a topic of debate. Quite a few articles on both sides of the issue can be found [here](http://cats.about.com/pets/cats/cs/predators/index.htm). A single domestic cat was responsible for the most rapid extinction of a bird species on record. The Stephens Island Wren, a tiny flightless song bird, was found on a small island off New Zealand. All known specimens (about a dozen) were brought in by the lighthouse keeper’s cat in 1894, and the species has not been seen since. A synopsis of the story can be found [here](http://www.nzbirds.com/StephensWren.html). Domestic cats were also on the verge of causing the extinction of the New Zealand Kakapo, or Owl Parrot, until the last survivors were transferred to predator-free islands. Domestic and feral cats are a major threat to wildlife in a number of places, including Australia and New Zealand. Several small marsupials in Australia may be on the verge of extinction because of them. ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrhonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pyrrhonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrhonist)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/5 "2001-01-09T22:21:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kid\_Gilligan \* > \*\*Loved the mental image this column created in my nasty little mind. > > The only thing better would be listening to cat owners whine about how we don’t understand their germ ridden little parasites. > > So go on. Vent. \*\* The mental image of duct taping a cat may be kind of funny, but then again so would the image of duct taping Jill and Kid\_Gilligan, hanging a plaques on them that say (in Arabic) “Saddam Blows Chucks,” and shipping them off to Iraq. Now listening to them plea for mercy might be better then listening to us whine. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/6 "2001-01-09T22:31:17Z")
Whoa. At least _dog lovers_ have a sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![bungie\_us](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b38774/32.png) [@bungie\_us](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bungie_us)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/7 "2001-01-10T00:04:52Z")
I’m a cat lover, and I have a sense of humor. At least, I have something I use as a sense of humor. Hmmm. Maybe I should let it go back to being what it was before . . . a cat toy. ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kid\_Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/8 "2001-01-10T04:09:24Z")
I wonder if it is any testament to the senses of humor of dog lovers that my favorite reply so far has belonged to Pyrrhonist? Or does it mean we’re easy to please? ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/9 "2001-01-10T04:13:02Z")
Well of course, Kid. Who _wouldn’t_ want to be duct taped to me? ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/10 "2001-01-10T07:44:10Z")
Hey, I get to do a “Here’s the column”! It is [Do cats have poison claws?](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mcatpoison.html) ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrhonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pyrrhonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrhonist)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/11 "2001-01-10T14:08:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*Well of course, Kid. Who _wouldn’t_ want to be duct taped to me? \*\* Um… never intended you guys to enjoy it, so I better duct tape you separately and ship you to different locations. One of you can be duct taped with gaps in anatomically correct locations depending on gender, labeled “Sex Toy,” and sent off to Bill Clinton’s new home. As far as who goes where, I doubt Bill or the Iraqis will care either way, so I’ll just go by weight and save on international shipping rates. Personally, I think the one who deals with the irate Iraqis gets off a little easier, so maybe you might want to eat heartily and pack on the pounds. ---
**Author:** ![bungie\_us](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b38774/32.png) [@bungie\_us](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bungie_us)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/12 "2001-01-10T14:24:07Z")
> [@](#): > > . . .so maybe you might want to eat heartily and pack on the pounds . . . can’t eat . . . hawking up . . . hairball . . . ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrhonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pyrrhonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrhonist)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/13 "2001-01-10T15:04:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bungie\_us \* > . . . can’t eat . . . hawking up . . . hairball . . . \*\* Considering you posted this message at 8:24AM CST, you must live in Hawaii where it would be 3:24AM. My cats always pick the middle of the night to cough up hairballs. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/14 "2001-01-10T15:32:03Z")
\ My little three-legged terror will do it any doggone time he pleases. We started feeding him anti-hairball food and anti-hairball Pounce (a brand of cat treats). I think he just took it as a challenge: “That’s the best you got? Bring it on, humanoid!” To all cat and dog lovers out there, I have to recommend a comic strip by the name of “Get Fuzzy,” which can be found at [http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html](http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html) It’s a hoot. RR ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/15 "2001-01-10T19:36:27Z")
**JillGat** : > [@](#): > > Who _wouldn’t_ want to be duct taped to me? Where does the line form? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duct-taping-cats/49169/16 "2001-01-10T20:23:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*Whoa. At least _dog lovers_ have a sense of humor. \*\* “Junior, what’s all that ruckus?” “Mom, I’m feeding the cat.” “Why’s he making all that noise?” “I’m feeding him to the dog!” - in memory of Red Skelton