# Dude blows up his urethra (it's as bad as it sounds) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2003, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523 "2003-09-04T14:18:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/21 "2003-09-04T21:04:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sultana of slash \* > \*\*Idiot sit down, go boom. > > That’s what’s wrong with this great nation of America, turning into a land of lard as we speak: we’re so lazy we can’t get up off our ass. Unless, or course, a rocket blows us there. \*\* What is really wrong with this great nation of America is that we don’t read with enough care to realize that this took place in Australia – we leap straight into the self-flagellation. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/22 "2003-09-04T21:23:58Z")
It only looked like a firecracker, it was really chlorine for the gene pool. Maybe he’s a plumber & just got confused… Ass crack… firecracker… work with me, here… ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/23 "2003-09-04T21:28:59Z")
Maybe it’s a good thing ha can’t reproduce, do we really want more people of his intelligence around? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/24 "2003-09-04T21:49:50Z")
> [@](#): > > “We do caution people strongly against following these acts,” [Sergeant John Klepczarek] said. That’s sage advice from the vaudeville era, isn’t it? “Never follow an anal pyrotechnic act.” _Firecracker, firecracker, siss boom bah! Ass-crack, ass-crack, rah rah rah!_ ---
**Author:** ![austen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@austen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/austen)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/25 "2003-09-04T21:50:11Z")
Wow - 22 posts and no ass-cracks from **lieu**? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/26 "2003-09-04T22:03:50Z")
I really hope they called for a psych consult-this guy needs to be evaluated by a professional. It just blows my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/27 "2003-09-04T22:14:49Z")
Aside from the snarky remarks, it fractured his pelvis! :eek:What kind of firecracker was he using? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/28 "2003-09-04T22:25:23Z")
Fire in the hole! ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/29 "2003-09-04T22:30:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\*What in the world would make _anyone_ think putting a firecracker _there_ is a good idea? \*\* The story said he was imitating something from the _Jackass_. He thought it would be a blast to go off and try it out for himself. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/30 "2003-09-04T22:32:52Z")
That is NOT the way to get a blow job! ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/31 "2003-09-04T22:38:33Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Rabid\_Squirrel_ > **What kind of firecracker was he using?** M-80, maybe? But that’s, like, a quarter-stick of dynamite. Still, it’s a popular, easy-to-find firework. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/32 "2003-09-04T22:39:05Z")
**Eats\_Crayons** , it doesn’t, really: > [@](#): > > It is not known whether the Illawarra man had been imitating Jackass, in which men place firecrackers in their buttocks and fire them into the air. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/33 "2003-09-04T22:44:54Z")
Suh-weet zombie Jesus. “Imitating Jackass?” I’m sorry, I never felt any great need to watch a show or movie that called itself suchlike. Men in this weird-assed show put firecrackers in their butts? Y’know, maybe I was too quick when I castigated the show, and the people who put it on the air. It occurs to me that this sort of thing – leaping off trucks onto couches, jamming explosives up your ass – is a FANTASTIC way to keep the extremely stupid from breeding. Maybe we DON’T need to, like, take this show off the air. Maybe what we REALLY need is to KICK IT UP A NOTCH! Go out and get PROFESSIONALS! Hell, hire Jackie Chan! Add computer graphics, like the one where Tom Cruise leaps from the exploding subway train in “Mission Impossible!” Make it look IMPOSSIBLY COOL to pull these totally idiotic stunts that will KILL YOU! It occurs to me that we could really have a fine time recalculating how much of a percentage point the average human IQ goes up every year that show was on the air… ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/34 "2003-09-04T22:48:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\ ***Eats\_Crayons** , it doesn’t, really: \*\* Well, there’s that theory shot full of holes. I saw the two later quotes… From the doctor: “young people were particularly susceptible to imitating movies like Jackass.” And the sergeant: “The danger with movies like Jackass, he said, was that some people were tempted to try the stunts at home.” …and thought that they trumped the earlier disclaimer. Granted this crackpot could’ve thought up the idea himself. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/35 "2003-09-04T23:09:20Z")
It’s depressing to admit, but guys have been amusing themselves with explosives, their butts, and combinations of the same, for much longer than people have been willing to exploit it for low-budget entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![MrTuffPaws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MrTuffPaws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrTuffPaws)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/36 "2003-09-04T23:25:07Z")
If you read the instructions on fireworks, they only state “Do not hold in hand.” This being the case, the ass must be fair game. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/37 "2003-09-04T23:31:49Z")
Actually, I think it was bottle rockets they were shooting out of their ass on _Jackass_. I think Steve-O repeated this performance on his home-grown video _Don’t Try This At Home_. In that one he also locks himself and an equally stupid buddy in his car and ignites a large amount of Class C fireworks stashed in the back seat. He also sets his girlfriend’s breasts on fire (different stunt). This guy is a walking Darwin Award winner year after year, and he’s _still breathing_. Hopefully he has the sense not to breed, but his girlfriend is equally brain-dead. As usual, dear **Unca Cecil** scoops us again (I thought this stunt sounded familiar): [Is it true what they say about gerbils?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_216b.html) > [@](#): > > In 1955 one man who was “feeling depressed” reportedly inserted a six-inch paper tube into his rectum, dropped in a lighted firecracker, and blew a hole in his anterior rectal wall. This changed his mood real quick. > > “Insertion of foreign bodies into the rectum,” as it is formally known, is by no means confined to gays. Many cases are ascribed to autoeroticism on the part of straights. Leaving aside victims of assault or accident, however, practitioners do have one thing in common: they’re incredibly stupid. > > You don’t need to be an Einstein to realize that insertion of objects presents enormous health risks. The rectum can become lacerated, torn, or infected. Long-term effects can include a flaccid sphincter and fecal incontinence. The proof is right here, folks. Reading the Straight Dope really can save your ass! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/38 "2003-09-05T00:28:10Z")
Look on the bright side: At least he wassn’t stupid enough to stick it in his penis hole. That’s what I thought it was going to be about when I read “blows up his urethra.” But then I guess it would’ve read “blow up his penis.” And as far as sphincters go, I can’t imagine anything worse than having a flaccid one. Happy ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/39 "2003-09-05T01:12:48Z")
I have the _Jackass_ movie, and I seem to recall them shooting off bottle rockets, and maybe something involving sparklers, but I don’t remember anything about gripping firecrackers with your nether cheeks… much less ones capable of doing the damage described. ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/40 "2003-09-05T01:30:32Z")
I have the _Jackass_ movie, and I seem to recall them shooting off bottle rockets, and maybe something involving sparklers, but I don’t remember anything about gripping firecrackers with your nether cheeks… much less ones capable of doing the damage described. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523.md?page=3)