# Dude blows up his urethra (it's as bad as it sounds) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2003, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523 "2003-09-04T14:18:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/41 "2003-09-05T03:02:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*I really hope they called for a psych consult-this guy needs to be evaluated by a professional. \*\* Well, yes, it says they called in a colo-rectal surgeon… All I could think was “What the HELL was he SMOKING???!!” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/42 "2003-09-05T03:44:53Z")
“It was a million-to-one chance, doc! A million-to-one!!” ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/43 "2003-09-05T06:20:33Z")
“Assman!” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/44 "2003-09-05T06:31:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wang-Ka \* > **Y’know, maybe I was too quick when I castigated the show, and the people who put it on the air. It occurs to me that this sort of thing – leaping off trucks onto couches, jamming explosives up your ass – is a FANTASTIC way to keep the extremely stupid from breeding.** Yeah, but what about the massive extra workload on the poor Darwin Awards folk? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/45 "2003-09-05T12:27:44Z")
See, that’s why I stick to just sticking sparklers up my ass. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/46 "2003-09-05T12:30:18Z")
This just SCREAMS “Darwin Award” winner. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/47 "2003-09-05T12:32:54Z")
No more sex?! You got to feel sorry for the guy. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/48 "2003-09-05T13:24:37Z")
Samurai swords first… So how long til the fine civic leaders of Victoria ban firecrackers??? I tell ya, a few idiots ruin the fun for _everyone_. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/49 "2003-09-05T13:25:04Z")
No you don’t. He can’t have sex because he…stuck…a…firecracker…up…his…ass! If you want to feel sorry for someone not having sex, aim your pity gun my way! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/50 "2003-09-05T13:31:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \* > **No you don’t. He can’t have sex because he…stuck…a…firecracker…up…his…ass!** Yeah but it was a hell of a price to pay! > [@](#): > > If you want to feel sorry for someone not having sex, aim your pity gun my way! LOL ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/51 "2003-09-05T13:40:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BlackKnight \* > \*\*Another victory for evolution! \*\* Charles Darwin is laughing somewhere right now. Do you think booze was invovled in any way? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/52 "2003-09-05T13:53:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > \*\*Do you think booze was invovled in any way? 😉 \*\* I hope so! Doing it while drunk would be dumb enough, but while _SOBER_?! ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/53 "2003-09-05T16:07:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > \*\*Wow. I would shoot myself so freakin fast. \*\* in the ass? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/54 "2003-09-05T16:19:44Z")
“He comes from the land Down Under Where women blow and men thunder…” Can we say “asinine”? ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/55 "2003-09-05T16:32:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PunditLisa \* > \*\*I tell ya, a few idiots ruin the fun for _everyone_. \*\* Obligatory Onion link: [Fun toy banned because of three stupid dead kids](http://www.theonion.com/onion3628/fun_toy_banned.html) ---
**Author:** ![CrazyMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee59a6/32.png) [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/56 "2003-09-05T17:34:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*It just blows my mind. \*\* Get yer head outta yer ass! ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/57 "2003-09-05T17:37:07Z")
I do not want to know why he put a firecracker where he did. I do not want to know why he put a firecracker where he did! I do not want to know why he put a firecracker where he did!! I do not want to know why he put a firecracker where he did!!! GAH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/58 "2003-09-06T15:19:13Z")
**Spider** – the impression I get from the story is that he did not, erm, “insert” the firecracker. Rather he was using his butt cheaks to hold it. I picture “Haw, haw, haw! Look, no hands!” while wagging his butt. Then he fell and sat on it. Whether falling on it meant “unplanned-dildo effect”, or simply “straddling an explosive” is unclear. In any case, the force of the blast went upwards (in a similar way as a grenade that you belly-flop onto to save your fox-hole buddies.) In any case, he is remarkably stupid… Says I, the one who nearly deafened myself sticking pencils in my ears and under my top lip to go “Rarh! Rarh! I’m a demon, raaaahrrrr!” – and with a current long thread in MPSIMS titled _I Stuck My Wedding Ring Up My Nose_\*, I think humanity has reached its evolutionary plateau – we’re doomed. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/59 "2003-09-06T15:59:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eats\_Crayons \* > \*\*“unplanned-dildo effect” \*\* Band name! ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523/60 "2003-09-06T19:56:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 1010011010 \* > \*\*I have the _Jackass_ movie, and I seem to recall them shooting off bottle rockets, and maybe something involving sparklers, but I don’t remember anything about gripping firecrackers with your nether cheeks… much less ones capable of doing the damage described. \*\* Ah, I wondered about that! I keep hearing that they were “blowing” firecrackers out of their asses, and I couldn’t figure out how on earth they did that! Well-timed farts or what? Bottle rockets make much more sense. My Uncle Harold used to impress us kids by launching them from his teeth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-blows-up-his-urethra-its-as-bad-as-it-sounds/199523.md?page=4)