# Dude gropes the wrong waitress and gets his ass handed to him. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 20, 2018, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266 "2018-07-20T12:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/41 "2018-07-20T19:35:18Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Any bets on how long it takes him to sue the Restuarant? It’ll be tough to find an attorney who’d take the case, given the video and the current social climate. And once an attorney is identified, good luck finding a sympathetic or even neutral jury in Savannah. And woe unto him if there are some good old boys on the jury–he’ll be seen as some kind of pussy to get tossed like that by a girl. Nah, dude will be lucky if he isn’t a defendant within the year. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/42 "2018-07-20T20:19:59Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > Into the counter she was working at, hard enough to push the counter into the back of another guy enjoying his meal. Not a counter, appears to be a two-person table that she was setting up for the next customer. But still, well-done Ms Waitress! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/43 "2018-07-20T20:24:46Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > Not a counter, appears to be a two-person table that she was setting up for the next customer. Doesn’t look anything like the two-person table where that other guy is sitting, though. [Found a picture of the patio area](http://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/2018/07/19/georgia-waitress-takes-down-man-who-appears-to-grope-her-epic-video-shows.html), it’s a staging area for the waitstaff. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/44 "2018-07-20T22:37:30Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > Thread title implies that another waitress would be more amenable to sexual harassment… Agreed. My first thought upon reading the thread title was “the wrong waitress”? Wait, does that means there’s a “right waitress” to grope? ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/45 "2018-07-20T22:48:42Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > Agreed. My first thought upon reading the thread title was “the wrong waitress”? Wait, does that means there’s a “right waitress” to grope? Clearly, it does: a waitress who wouldn’t fight back. See, that’s the difference here is Miss Holden fought back; it’s right there in the thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/46 "2018-07-20T23:21:27Z")
Colonel Sanders used to do that all the time and nobody complained! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/47 "2018-07-20T23:25:04Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Clearly, it does: a waitress who wouldn’t fight back. See, that’s the difference here is Miss Holden fought back; it’s right there in the thread title. Agreed. Many women might be too afraid or too embarrassed to fight back, or be incredulous that that even happened to them. This should teach a few guys to keep their hands to themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/48 "2018-07-20T23:34:49Z")
It’s just an expression. When Danny Trejo says “You messed with the wrong Mexican” in _Machete_, that doesn’t mean he thinks there’s a right Mexican to mess with. It means “this will not end well for you.” ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/49 "2018-07-20T23:50:56Z")
Gotta wonder what [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdpAop7gp0w) was playing on their music system. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/50 "2018-07-21T00:05:24Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Gotta wonder what [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdpAop7gp0w) was playing on their music system. I don’t even have to click that link, do I? Nope; I didn’t. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/51 "2018-07-21T00:17:21Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Clearly, it does: a waitress who wouldn’t fight back. See, that’s the difference here is Miss Holden fought back; it’s right there in the thread title. > [@cochrane](#): > > Agreed. Many women might be too afraid or too embarrassed to fight back, or be incredulous that that even happened to them. This should teach a few guys to keep their hands to themselves. > [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > Agreed. My first thought upon reading the thread title was “the wrong waitress”? Wait, does that means there’s a “right waitress” to grope? Argh, this is just the kind of shit we’re talking about when women posters discuss the inherent sexism here. The thread title _does_ imply that a “right” waitress wouldn’t react like this. I get that it’s an expression, but words have meaning. Her angry, physical reaction to violence is a stereotypically male response. So of course men approve. Finally, a woman is acting “right” in the face of sexual assault! ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/52 "2018-07-21T00:24:35Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > Argh, this is just the kind of shit we’re talking about when women posters discuss the inherent sexism here. > > The thread title _does_ imply that a “right” waitress wouldn’t react like this. I get that it’s an expression, but words have meaning. WHOA, whoa whoa. I think you’re doing yourself and others a disservice by ignoring the context of the words. There’s only “a ‘right’ waitress who wouldn’t react like this” _to the guy committing the assault_. You get that, right? Just like the “right” response to a bank robber, in their eyes, is going to be “handing over the money without a fuss” and not “shooting me in the face”. > [@araminty](#): > > Her angry, physical reaction to violence is a stereotypically male response. So of course men approve. Finally, a woman is acting “right” in the face of sexual assault! Wow; that’s, um, ‘impressive’ works, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Amara\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7993a0/32.png) [@Amara\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amara_1)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/53 "2018-07-21T00:31:40Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > Argh, this is just the kind of shit we’re talking about when women posters discuss the inherent sexism here. > > The thread title _does_ imply that a “right” waitress wouldn’t react like this. I get that it’s an expression, but words have meaning. > > Her angry, physical reaction to violence is a stereotypically male response. So of course men approve. Finally, a woman is acting “right” in the face of sexual assault! Eh I think that is being overthought. I agree with Larry Borgia. I’m a small woman and I think that men who do this need the shit kicked out of them _by women_. I also think that it’s unlikely to happen because too many women are some combination of too shocked to respond right away, scared of escalating a situation where they could end up seriously hurt or realizing that nothing will happen to the man (as Broomstick notes, she could have been fired). And for the record, I’m probably mostly in door #2 with a little of door #1 thrown in there. I think this waitress was secure enough to know that her co-workers had her back and was pretty strong and responded quickly. The “right” waitress for the guy would have been one who missed any one of those steps. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/54 "2018-07-21T00:35:01Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > Argh, this is just the kind of shit we’re talking about when women posters discuss the inherent sexism here. > > The thread title _does_ imply that a “right” waitress wouldn’t react like this. I get that it’s an expression, but words have meaning. > > Her angry, physical reaction to violence is a stereotypically male response. So of course men approve. Finally, a woman is acting “right” in the face of sexual assault! Note that my main point was that guys should keep their hands to themselves, not that there is a “right” woman to attack or that any woman’s reaction is “right” or “wrong.” > [@cochrane](#): > > Agreed. Many women might be too afraid or too embarrassed to fight back, or be incredulous that that even happened to them. **This should teach a few guys to keep their hands to themselves.** The only one in the wrong here was the guy who grabbed the waitress’s behind. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/55 "2018-07-21T00:39:29Z")
All of this secondary conversation could have been avoided if the OP had titled the thread, “Dude gropes waitress and gets his ass handed to him”. Everyone inclined to read it, would have still opened the thread. We would still have all the same commentary about the incident itself, but no one would be asking about whether there is a “right waitress” to grope. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/56 "2018-07-21T00:56:31Z")
To me, he appeared to have been quite used to grabbing women’s asses and NOT being body-slammed before, otherwise he wouldn’t have been so nonchalantly entitled to do it to this particular waitress this time. So yes, this time he did pick the “wrong” one, from his point of view. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/57 "2018-07-21T01:19:28Z")
When I read the thread title, I was thinking maybe his girl-friend was working there, and he had meant to grope her but got the wrong waitress. Oops, how embarrassing! ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/58 "2018-07-21T01:28:57Z")
The expression is ambiguous in isolation and without intonation. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/59 "2018-07-21T01:40:26Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > It was so casual I’d bet anything this isn’t anywhere close to the first time he’s done it. If his wife is not a fool (though we can’t rule that out; she did marry this POS), she knows this is not new behavior. It may even be how they met. 😃 When I was stationed in Japan, one guy on our base got court-martialed and discharged from the Navy after he was caught peeping into windows. Turned out that’s how he met his wife years earlier: he was caught peeping into her window. > [@ivylass](#): > > What gets me is that this happens so often at that place they had to put up security cameras. How many other women got groped at work and had to smile to save their tips? What makes you think that’s the reason the restaurant has security cameras? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/60 "2018-07-21T02:16:09Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > It’s just an expression. When Danny Trejo says “You messed with the wrong Mexican” in _Machete_, that doesn’t mean he thinks there’s a right Mexican to mess with. It means “this will not end well for you.” This. And the same lame jokes about “the right Mexican” would follow…well, they might have but Trejo performed a machete tracheotomy before they could. If one is taking offense at this, then one is actively seeking offense in any statement. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266.md?page=4)