# Dude gropes the wrong waitress and gets his ass handed to him. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 20, 2018, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266 "2018-07-20T12:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/61 "2018-07-21T02:20:41Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > What makes you think that’s the reason the restaurant has security cameras? From the article in the OP: “Another person who said they work at the pizza place wrote that “it was just another Saturday night. This literally happens ALL the time. We just put the cameras up so this was the first guy we’ve been able to prosecute.”” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/62 "2018-07-21T02:22:22Z")
Ninja’d. ---
**Author:** ![Jungian\_Camisole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@Jungian\_Camisole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jungian_Camisole)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/63 "2018-07-21T02:53:59Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Colonel Sanders used to do that all the time and nobody complained! Oh, you! Good on her, though. That was the correct and proper reaction. The added bonus is that I can give money to kittehs! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/64 "2018-07-21T02:57:46Z")
> [@Weedy](#): > > When I read the thread title, I was thinking maybe his girl-friend was working there, and he had meant to grope her but got the wrong waitress. Oops, how embarrassing! Hell, I can’t even grope my _wife_ without getting body-slammed. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/65 "2018-07-21T03:01:16Z")
> [@Weedy](#): > > When I read the thread title, I was thinking maybe his girl-friend was working there, and he had meant to grope her but got the wrong waitress. Oops, how embarrassing! I had wondered that myself - AND it wouldn’t have been right either. She was WORKING. Coming at this from another angle, this guy better consider himself lucky that her boyfriend, father, husband, etc. wasn’t in the restaurant, and armed. I also wonder if he was patronizing a restaurant some distance from where he lives because he’s been banned from so many in his neighborhood for doing this elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/66 "2018-07-21T03:06:36Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I had wondered that myself - AND it wouldn’t have been right either. She was WORKING. > > Coming at this from another angle, this guy better consider himself lucky that her boyfriend, father, husband, etc. wasn’t in the restaurant, and armed. > > I also wonder if he was patronizing a restaurant some distance from where he lives because he’s been banned from so many in his neighborhood for doing this elsewhere. He’s from Palm Bay, Florida, and she’s in Savannah GA. Over 300 miles apart. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/67 "2018-07-21T03:07:34Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > All of this secondary conversation could have been avoided if the OP had titled the thread, “Dude gropes waitress and gets his ass handed to him”. Everyone inclined to read it, would have still opened the thread. We would still have all the same commentary about the incident itself, but no one would be asking about whether there is a “right waitress” to grope. That assumes that this argument has no value. I think it does. That said, I don’t think it’s reasonable to interpret the OP as meaning that some women deserve to be groped because they won’t fight back. It is a common turn of a phrase, and I’ve never seen it mean that. Plus the OP (post) is clearly anti-groping, and the OP (poster) not only has no history of misogyny but also actively fights against it. And, well, I don’t agree with the logic that fighting back is a male value. Yes, women are conditioned not to fight back, but that’s because the patriarchy is afraid of them if they do fight back. Yes, maybe men are conditioned to fight too much, when other tactics would be better, but that doesn’t make fighting back wrong. And, yes, women do have some barriers to fighting back that men don’t have, but that only means we should be fighting to remove those barriers. I want women to be willing to fight back against this shit. Maybe not with actual violence, but they should be able to speak up and not just try to smooth things over. That’s fine if there is a misunderstanding, but this was not a misunderstanding. I think that both men and women should be able to smooth things over, make themselves heard, and fight back. As such, I am very happy with the response this woman got. I don’t see anyone saying “well, if other women would just react like she did, there wouldn’t be a problem.” I’m glad I don’t see that victim blaming bullshit. I just see a woman fighting back and being praised for doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/68 "2018-07-21T03:08:13Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I also wonder if he was patronizing a restaurant some distance from where he lives because he’s been banned from so many in his neighborhood for doing this elsewhere. > [@raventhief](#): > > He’s from Palm Bay, Florida, and she’s in Savannah GA. Over 300 miles apart. Are you suggesting that he’s been the subject of _that_ much bannination? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/69 "2018-07-21T03:33:47Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Coming at this from another angle, this guy better consider himself lucky that her boyfriend, father, husband, etc. wasn’t in the restaurant, and armed. Jeez. Really? You’re now minimising this woman’s reaction and implying she needs protection from armed men? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/70 "2018-07-21T03:41:06Z")
I had heard different things about where the restaurant was located, and where he lived. Sorry. And no, I’m not implying at all that this fragile little flower needed a big bad armed man nearby to protect her. I worked in restaurants for many years and experienced comparable things a few times, and in case (generic) you’re wondering, I never looked anything like the woman in the picture (not that this would justify it on any level, either). I don’t remember ever being groped by a patron, but I do remember inappropriate remarks more than once, and in most cases, the people who did this did not get away with it - the manager kicked them out, and in one case did indeed ban the offender from the property. Like I said before, probably not the first time either had done it. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/71 "2018-07-21T03:46:42Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > Jeez. Really? You’re now minimising this woman’s reaction and implying she needs protection from armed men? Bless your heart! Your perceptiveness is at a level that most people are never able to experience as the pinnacle of their critical thinking skills; I am truly astonished at how you are able to cope with the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/72 "2018-07-21T03:52:37Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > That said, I don’t think it’s reasonable to interpret the OP as meaning that some women deserve to be groped because they won’t fight back. It is a common turn of a phrase, and I’ve never seen it mean that. Plus the OP (post) is clearly anti-groping, and the OP (poster) not only has no history of misogyny but also actively fights against it. Let me clarify…I don’t think the OP meant it that way. I agree it is a common turn of phrase. It should not be. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/73 "2018-07-21T10:14:55Z")
That’s ridiculous. “You picked on the wrong (noun)” should be struck from the lexicon because it was used with woman and can be misconstrued by those looking for offence? The phrase isn’t the problem. ---
**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/74 "2018-07-21T11:26:59Z")
I’m not in the US. If/when convicted (with the video evidence, it’s hard to see how he won’t be) will this get him on one of those sex offender lists with conditions imposed on him? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/75 "2018-07-21T11:30:41Z")
Possibly. Depends on Georgia law, and the prosecutors might offer a deal where he stays off the list if he admits guilt (saves the state time and money), and many, many other factors. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/76 "2018-07-21T11:55:49Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > Jeez. Really? You’re now minimising this woman’s reaction and implying she needs protection from armed men? You’re doing a bit, right? With your first post I wasn’t sure, but now there’s no chance you’re for real. Nice work, really— the satire is so close to the mark in these cases, though, so try not to push it. Less is more! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/77 "2018-07-21T12:41:54Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > You’re doing a bit, right? With your first post I wasn’t sure, but now there’s no chance you’re for real. > > Nice work, really— the satire is so close to the mark in these cases, though, so try not to push it. Less is more! The “armed father or boyfriend” line kinda struck me as sexist, too. Why not just say he’s lucky _she_ wasn’t armed? She’s obviously capable of defending herself. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/78 "2018-07-21T13:26:31Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > That said, I don’t think it’s reasonable to interpret the OP as meaning that some women deserve to be groped because they won’t fight back. It is a common turn of a phrase… I think this is clearly correct. It’s very common in pop culture. All kinds of action shows and movies feature a line from the protagonist saying “You messed with the wrong …” It is not meant to imply that there are people that it’s okay to mess with. > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Coming at this from another angle, this guy better consider himself lucky that her boyfriend, father, husband, etc. wasn’t in the restaurant, and armed. This is a weird fucking thing to say. She demonstrated that she knows how to protect herself. Why would you surmise about the presence of a male protector? And why should a male protector be more likely to use a deadly weapon? This was a situation in which a man committed an act that should have consequences. An attack with a deadly weapon should not be within a contemplatable range of those circumstances. If this is how people really think, then we really shouldn’t allow people to walk around in public armed with firearms. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/79 "2018-07-21T15:14:15Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > Argh, this is just the kind of shit we’re talking about when women posters discuss the inherent sexism here. > > The thread title _does_ imply that a “right” waitress wouldn’t react like this. I get that it’s an expression, but words have meaning. > > Her angry, physical reaction to violence is a stereotypically male response. So of course men approve. Finally, a woman is acting “right” in the face of sexual assault! He disrespected her, he assaulted her, and she gave it back on a level he would understand. I for one, approve. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/80 "2018-07-21T17:57:51Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This was a situation in which a man committed an act that should have consequences. An attack with a deadly weapon should not be within a contemplatable range of those circumstances. If this is how people really think, then we really shouldn’t allow people to walk around in public armed with firearms. Apparently you haven’t yet heard about the guy in Florida who was shot for pushing another man to the ground in a parking lot, huh? No charges, btw. [Gunman in parking space shooting not charged because of ‘Stand Your Ground’ law](https://abcnews.go.com/US/gunman-parking-space-shooting-charged-stand-ground-law/story?id=56715356). Had this happened in Florida, Miss Holden could have shot and killed her assailant and it is quite possible there would have been no charges brought. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266.md?page=5)