# Dude gropes the wrong waitress and gets his ass handed to him. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 20, 2018, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266 "2018-07-20T12:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/101 "2018-07-24T11:05:16Z")
> [@MarvinKitFox](#): > > Dude… > The cameras are there to prevent the waters from stealing the place blind. And they’d have legal evidence if someone drowned in the waters. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/102 "2018-07-24T13:49:53Z")
> [@MarvinKitFox](#): > > Dude… > The cameras are there to prevent the waters from stealing the place blind. [https://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article215182855.html?utm\_source=fark&utm\_medium=website&utm\_content=link&ICID=ref\_fark](https://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article215182855.html?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark) > [@](#): > > Another person who said they work at the pizza place wrote that “it was just another Saturday night. This literally happens ALL the time. We just put the cameras up so this was the first guy we’ve been able to prosecute.” ---
**Author:** ![SaneBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@SaneBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaneBill)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/103 "2018-07-24T14:39:26Z")
I also object the thread title. It is clearly suggesting that SHE grabbed HIM. Not cool. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/104 "2018-07-24T14:40:36Z")
Well, she DID grab him - by the collar, after he put his hand on her ass without permission. But in this case I think her grab was justified. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/105 "2018-07-24T15:47:56Z")
> [@MarvinKitFox](#): > > Dude… > The cameras are there to prevent the waters from stealing the place blind. That particular camera is on an outdoor staging area. Ain’t nothing worth stealing out there. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/106 "2018-07-24T20:18:49Z")
Good on her! No one has license to grope wait staff. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/107 "2018-07-24T21:04:36Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > What gets me is that this happens so often at that place they had to put up security cameras. How many other women got groped at work and had to smile to save their tips? It might be a bit more effective if they would change the ‘uniforms’ that their servers are wearing. That bikini she’s wearing looks like something more appropriate for a strip-tease joint.\* Presumably the business has a reason for specifying that costume. I can’t imagine a waitress having to run back and forth into a kitchen full of hot cooktops wearing that little. Seems like a safety violation right there. Plus where’s she keep her order pad, extra straws, napkins, cutlery, etc.? \*Not that the costume justifies his actions. Nor that a more modest costume would have deterred him – some people have no class, and show it. (And get what they deserve!) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/108 "2018-07-24T21:26:28Z")
> [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](#): > > It might be a bit more effective if they would change the ‘uniforms’ that their servers are wearing. That bikini she’s wearing looks like something more appropriate for a strip-tease joint.\* Presumably the business has a reason for specifying that costume. Judging by images I’ve found, only workers who are primarily outside in summer dress like that. [This hostess is wearing a bit more](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g60814-d436981-Reviews-Vinnie_Van_Go_Go_s-Savannah_Georgia.html#photos;aggregationId=101&albumid=101&filter=7&ff=199018228) and there are others wearing hoodies. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/109 "2018-07-24T23:41:03Z")
> [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](#): > > It might be a bit more effective if they would change the ‘uniforms’ that their servers are wearing. That bikini she’s wearing looks like something more appropriate for a strip-tease joint.\* Presumably the business has a reason for specifying that costume. > > I can’t imagine a waitress having to run back and forth into a kitchen full of hot cooktops wearing that little. Seems like a safety violation right there. Plus where’s she keep her order pad, extra straws, napkins, cutlery, etc.? > > \*Not that the costume justifies his actions. Nor that a more modest costume would have deterred him – some people have no class, and show it. (And get what they deserve!) What bullshit. You state a concern for her safety b/c of her clothes and claim her ‘costume’ doesn’t justify his actions, yet the first thing you do is suggest her clothes (‘a bikini more appropriate for a strip-tease joint’) were an ineffective deterrent to her being groped. You’re blaming her outfit for her getting groped, or else you wouldn’t have mentioned it at all. Some people have no class, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/110 "2018-07-25T00:01:58Z")
I’m surprised it took this long for someone to mention what she was wearing. I expected someone to spout this line of reasoning sooner. The fact is, jerks like this guy are going to grope someone no matter what they’re wearing. This guy didn’t think, “Oh, she’s wearing short shorts and bikini top, so it’s Ok.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/111 "2018-07-25T00:05:08Z")
I do wonder, though, if the restaurant has a dress code that requires their staff to dress that way, or if they just allow staff to dress how they like, and that outfit was her idea. If the latter, well, not the choice I would make, but she can choose to dress that way if she wants. If the former, though, well, that’s yet another problem. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/112 "2018-07-25T00:17:11Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I do wonder, though, if the restaurant has a dress code that requires their staff to dress that way, or if they just allow staff to dress how they like, and that outfit was her idea. If the latter, well, not the choice I would make, but she can choose to dress that way if she wants. If the former, though, well, that’s yet another problem. NO! None of how she is dressed is the problem. The whole problem is this guys attitude that he can grope women. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/113 "2018-07-25T00:29:03Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I do wonder, though, if the restaurant has a dress code that requires their staff to dress that way, or if they just allow staff to dress how they like, and that outfit was her idea. If the latter, well, not the choice I would make, but she can choose to dress that way if she wants. If the former, though, well, that’s yet another problem. It doesn’t matter how she is dressed, get that through your dim fucking brain. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/114 "2018-07-25T01:48:51Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > It doesn’t matter how she is dressed, get that through your dim fucking brain. They never want to understand it’s all the attacker’s fault, b/c then it could happen to anyone, even them or the people they love. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/115 "2018-07-25T01:52:09Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I do wonder, though, if the restaurant has a dress code that requires their staff to dress that way, or if they just allow staff to dress how they like, and that outfit was her idea. If the latter, well, not the choice I would make, but she can choose to dress that way if she wants. If the former, though, well, that’s yet another problem. I did, earlier in the thread, because the subject of weapons came up. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/116 "2018-07-25T01:54:47Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > It doesn’t matter how she is dressed, get that through your dim fucking brain. I’m fairly certain that is not what he meant. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/117 "2018-07-25T02:07:28Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > I’m fairly certain that is not what he meant. Well, then perhaps he’d like to reword it since the first three posters after he wrote that all took it exactly the same way. Of course, I’m not sure how it could be interpreted to mean anything except that her clothing somehow played a part in her being groped. If he didn’t think it did, why bring it up at all? ---
**Author:** ![SaneBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@SaneBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaneBill)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/118 "2018-07-25T08:16:08Z")
Have you lost your minds !? Of course what she wore played a part on this. You really think he would’ve just as easily groped her if she wore a nun’s habit. He saw some skin and it triggered him to do it. If he hadn’t seen skin, who knows. And I’m not saying that it was her fault or that she asked for it, you idiots. Like it wasn’t her fault to born a female. But just face it, she put herself at risk. There’s a difference between being at fault and being too trusting. You must consider the fact that there are gropers around, especially when they apparently already thought it being a problem. A cynic in me says that this was a trap. And if it was I’ve no problem with it, HE asked for it. Also I think your attitude is dangerous. You’re essentially saying that there’s nothing anybody can do to protect themselves. **AND THAT IS UNBELIEVABLY STUPID !** ---
**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/119 "2018-07-25T08:30:11Z")
> [@SaneBill](#): > > He saw some skin and it triggered him to do it. This was in the USA. Most US citizens wear western dress, not hijabs and full tunics. EVERYBODY SHOWS SKIN, even that nun. If this bloke was so triggered (and he hasn’t said so, you’ve just dreamt that up) he should be incarcerated for life because he’s a danger to others. geez. seriously. How hard is it to keep your sodding hands to yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266/120 "2018-07-25T08:50:23Z")
> [@SaneBill](#): > > Have you lost your minds !? Of course what she wore played a part on this. You really think he would’ve just as easily groped her if she wore a nun’s habit. Yeah, there are scum who grope nuns. That’s why nuns usually travel in pairs or groups, safety in number. What played a part in this is the pernicious notion that it’s somehow OK to touch women without consent if they’re wearing certain types of clothing. No. It’s not OK. It wouldn’t be OK if she was completely naked. You think waitresses wearing pants don’t get groped? Or wearing long skirts? Stop blaming the victim. Blame the asshat who blames everyone else for his lack of self-control. > [@](#): > > A cynic in me says that this was a trap. And if it was I’ve no problem with it, HE asked for it. Oh, yes - those evil, evil women manipulating and trapping men with the sexiness of their bodies… Do you have control over your own limbs or don’t you? > [@](#): > > Also I think your attitude is dangerous. You’re essentially saying that there’s nothing anybody can do to protect themselves. **AND THAT IS UNBELIEVABLY STUPID !** Better than wearing a burka and hoping no men try to grope you through it this chick has him on tape, got him arrested, and will be able to prosecute. Which is a damn sight better than “protecting” herself by dressing like a nun… because that wouldn’t protect her anyway from self-entitled assholes who think getting their jollies over-rules the rights of others to be unmolested. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dude-gropes-the-wrong-waitress-and-gets-his-ass-handed-to-him/818266.md?page=7)