# Dudes, Did Your Parents Thow You Out? Are you glad? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 3, 2012, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589 "2012-09-03T22:48:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/21 "2012-09-04T10:34:14Z")
Wasn’t thrown out, but I knew that once I left school, I would be expected to contribute to my own upkeep. I think I paid a paltry $30 a month whilst in my first couple of years at university, before I moved into a flat. My parents were very clear that their role in raising us was to develop fully functioning adults, and part of that included living in your own damned house. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/22 "2012-09-04T11:10:17Z")
There were 7 of us living in a 1000 sq ft house and I was in the 18th year of sharing a room with my sister. I needed my own space and my own life, and I had no skills for a real job, so I joined the Navy. Best thing I ever did. Never any talk of throwing me out, but I’m sure everyone was glad that one less person was sharing the bathroom. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/23 "2012-09-04T12:07:01Z")
I technically still lived with my folks until I graduated college. But really, the place stopped being my home when I left for school. The few summers I came home were just long visits. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/24 "2012-09-04T12:44:44Z")
I legally emancipated at 17. Prior to that my Mom did try to throw me out, but she wanted to make sure it was legal first and turns out, it’s not. Good times. No I don’t regret legally emancipating. It really sucked though. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/25 "2012-09-04T12:51:25Z")
> [@cynyc](#): > > Let’s try this, gentlemen. If your parent(s) threw you out and you feel they did the right thing PM me cuz no one is 'fessing up here. 🙂 My parents saw me off to college and made it clear that they didn’t expect me back except to visit regularly. Since I was of the same mind, it worked out well. I have tried to make it clear to my kids that I love them desperately - and part of us, as parents, demonstrating that love is for them to be self-sufficient. Sure, if a crisis happened, we would support them, but also expect them to have a plan to get back out there in a reasonable amount of time. So I am not sure what you are looking for - a situation where you didn’t want to leave and your parents made you? What are you hoping to learn? Ways to avoid having to leave? Do you think your parents failed you in some way by making you move out? ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/26 "2012-09-04T12:59:27Z")
When my son came back from college my exwife gave him about 3 months to find a job and move. He was still one year from his masters, he still finished school and found a job with a little help from dad. Little tougher in otodays world. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/27 "2012-09-04T13:03:45Z")
I couldn’t wait to leave and get my own place. Not for any bad reasons though. Just wanted to be independent. And be able to party to all hours of the night. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/28 "2012-09-04T13:23:43Z")
Yes. I ran away once when I was 18, and then they threw me out when I was 20 or so. They told me not to bother coming home over Spring Break unless I was prepared to get married. I…didn’t come home. They said we didn’t really mean it. I said, so I don’t have to get married? They said, no, we meant that part. I stayed away. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/29 "2012-09-04T13:31:42Z")
I moved out at 17 and finished highschool while living with my cousin and working full time. Joined the air force and headed off to basic training all before turning 18. I wasn’t running from anything just trying to prove a point. God I was stupid 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/30 "2012-09-04T13:42:05Z")
I know the question was also “Are you glad”? Truthfully I don’t know the answer. Need to think some more. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/31 "2012-09-04T13:46:09Z")
Mine did - but in a rather devious way: they made it clear from the time I was young that normal people looked forward to and enjoyed being fully independent adults past the age of 18. I fell for this propaganda and so needed no additional pressure when the time came. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/32 "2012-09-04T14:05:31Z")
My parents didn’t kick me out. They gently suggested that I take steps to move my life in a more independent direction. I was 22 and a half years old at the time; I was out by my 23rd birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/33 "2012-09-04T14:09:07Z")
When giving people the short version of that time of my life, I often just say that I was kicked out. The longer version is more muddled; I went on a weekend road trip, and while I was gone, my stepdad had some kind of mental collapse, and began ranting and threatening to kil me when I came back. My mom met me at the door when I returned, telling me I’d need to find somewhere else to live. I said no. After all, at that time, I was covering the mortgage for them and the utilities were all mine, since I was the only one in the house working. I awoke the next morning to hear my stepdad shouting at the top of his lungs at my mom, as apparently she was physically keeping him from rushing into my room and attempting to kill me. Grabbed my cat, tossed her in the carrier, tossed some clothes into a laundry basket, told my mom I was leaving and would not return. Lived in my car for a while in the middle of winter (cat stayed at a friend’s place) until I got an apartment, then got a moving van and some friends and when we saw my parents leave, raided the house for my belongings, which included most of the furniture. We were in and out in 30 minutes. Transferred all of the utilities to my new place that same day, shutting off service to the house. Didn’t speak again to my mom until the stepdad had died years later, and I still don’t know what happened when they came home to no gas, electricity, phone service, or furniture. So, I ran away, but under duress. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/34 "2012-09-04T14:32:12Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I couldn’t wait to leave and get my own place. Not for any bad reasons though. Just wanted to be independent. And be able to party to all hours of the night. This. And pretty much all my friends did the same thing. The whole thing nowadays where kids stay with their parents for a long time after graduating from high school is completely foreign to me. When we all graduated, we couldn’t wait to get out of the house. Whether that was to a dorm or an apartment varied, but I don’t think I had a friend who still lived with their parents by the time they were 19 or 20. We wanted to party, we wanted to test our freedom, we wanted to be adults. That pretty much precluded living with our parents. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/35 "2012-09-04T14:45:10Z")
I lived with my parents for six months after graduating law school. At first, I couldn’t find a job - then it took time to find an available apartment that I could afford. My parents were more-or-less okay with it, but only because this was clearly a temporary arrangement, and I was working to move out. If I’d been slacking, I assume I’d have been kicked out eventually. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/36 "2012-09-04T17:07:19Z")
I stayed at home until I was 26 then I bought a house. My parents were cool with it - my older brother was there until 26 too. We sort of lived as roommates, it was no big deal. We all get along really well. My parents supported me while I got my business off the ground and they know I am grateful. My mom would let me move back in in a heartbeat. She’s that type of mom. I wouldn’t want to, though. With them being retired and me working from home, someone would have to die. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/37 "2012-09-04T17:11:09Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I know the question was also “Are you glad”? Truthfully I don’t know the answer. Need to think some more. I think ‘‘glad’’ is not quite the word I would use. I learned a lot of valuable insights during my time on my own, and I guess suffering builds character… at least, I think I developed a lot of character from that experience. But that is not the same thing as being glad. I would have been glad if my parents had not been abusive and accepted me for who I was. But given my options, being on my own was preferable to living at home. And looking back on it ten years later I can still say that I made the right choice. I was also raised, however, with an understanding that I would be expected to leave and support myself at age 18. My financial independence was inevitable anyway, I just sped it up by a year. I assumed that attitude about not supporting your kids in adulthood was normal, but my husband thinks we should pay for our future kids’ college. It’s not that I disagree, it’s just that it’s a very different concept for me to wrap my head around. I think a large reason that ‘‘you’re on your own once you turn 18’’ thing exists for many families is that many parents cannot even conceive of having enough money to pay for a child’s college tuition. It was a very common attitude where I grew up, but I think it mostly came out of necessity/what was pragmatically feasible, rather than a lack of caring. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/38 "2012-09-04T20:10:08Z")
My parents didn’t throw me out, but the summer after I finished college, there was steady pressure from my father to get out and get on with it. So I did. While I don’t think he handled it very well, it was certainly the right thing to do, and his handling it rather gracelessly was far better than if he hadn’t pushed at all. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/39 "2012-09-04T20:33:42Z")
I moved out of my grandmother’s house and into my boyfriend’s house when I was eighteen. She didn’t want me to go. However, a couple years later, I was back on her doorstep with a nearly-done bun in the oven. I think my mom and grandmother would have kept me a long long time without suggesting I move out, and as a parent, I feel I could keep my kids a long time as well. My husband has a different attitude…which is probably healthier for the kids anyway. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589/40 "2012-09-04T21:10:12Z")
I’m not sure how to answer that question. I moved away from home to go to college the fall after my 18th birthday. I wasn’t forced out; it was the natural extension of my educational plan. I always felt that if necessary I could move back home, and indeed I stayed at home for a few summers, until I went off to graduate school a few years later. Since then I’ve only been home for visits. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dudes-did-your-parents-thow-you-out-are-you-glad/633589.md?page=3)