# Duke U. alumna writes thesis on her extra curricular activities **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816 "2010-10-02T03:59:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/21 "2010-10-03T00:25:23Z")
You know, God had to have created two or three other guys after Adam and Eve. Because what’s the use of hitting that in the Garden of Eden if you don’t have a crew to run to and tell them you scored? Seriously, guys brag. And women get a lot of heat for being bragged about, whether the bragging is fact-based or not. So I think we’ve got a few more blogs to go before the number of humiliated guys is more than a fraction of the number of humiliated women. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/22 "2010-10-03T00:41:37Z")
I detest guys who do that kind of bragging. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/23 "2010-10-03T01:01:26Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I don’t care about the sex. As others have adequately explained, there’s nothing wrong with her having sex. Sex is great. Why not have a bunch of it? I just feel bad that this went viral. Feel sort of sorry for the guys who are being exposed to spotlight. Same here. Speaking as a female, I’d be pissed if someone said those things about my sexual prowess/looks and included a photo of me. I often get the feeling, though, that many think that saying stuff like that about a woman is crass but being critical of a man’s looks or sexual ability is funny or cute. Like all the bitchy comments that the characters on Sex and the City make–if the genders were reversed, I think a lot of people would be thinking, “What a slimeball.” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/24 "2010-10-03T01:08:56Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I detest guys who do that kind of bragging. Mmm…Don’t want to derail the thread, and it doesn’t quite rate a separate thread. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/25 "2010-10-03T01:10:18Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > So I think we’ve got a few more blogs to go before the number of humiliated guys is more than a fraction of the number of humiliated women. Now isn’t that typical; they’re men, so they should be punished for the alleged sins of other men they have nothing to do with. A phenomenon that reminds me greatly of the historical persecution of women in the name of “Eve’s sin”. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/26 "2010-10-03T01:10:19Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > As humiliating as it is, it might be a good lesson for the guys. Maybe they’ll be a little more careful about who they sleep with from now on. Better to learn that in this manner than by finding out that the random bar chick you slept with got pregnant and is planning to go after child support. This is eerily similar to the attitudes expressed by some Dopers after the Duke lacrosse team was cleared of those fabricated rape charges. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/27 "2010-10-03T01:11:00Z")
These days, I just assume every girl I sleep with maintains a powerpoint dossier. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/28 "2010-10-03T01:16:34Z")
> [@HowieReynolds](#): > > Right. Because there is no middle ground between a sexual free-for-all and being kept in a cage. Dammit! :smack: :mad: I had no idea I was in a cage all this time! I want out! I want out! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/29 "2010-10-03T01:29:55Z")
You guys do know you are being whooshed, don’t you? Probably by some other men in a fraternity somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/30 "2010-10-03T01:47:56Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Now isn’t that typical; they’re men, so they should be punished for the alleged sins of other men they have nothing to do with. I’m not saying that. I’m saying that it’s unusual enough to hear of men being wronged by gossip that I feel like I’m in Bizarro World. I’m not getting joy out of this, but neither am I outraged. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/31 "2010-10-03T01:53:10Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > > [@RealityChuck](#): > > > > What’s sad is that she has no emotional connection with these guys; it’s all fucking. I suppose the guys aren’t much better, though. > > I simply don’t understand why that is “sad.” > > If both partners enjoy sex, i don’t see why it’s a problem to participate without an emotional connection. Yes, some people prefer to have that connection, and those people are welcome to restrict their sexual activity to instances where they feel such a connection, but i’m at a loss as to why it’s sad if two people experience pleasure from something that doesn’t affect you at all. Then what’s the point? You can get the same pleasure all by yourself. She was just masturbating, not having sex. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/32 "2010-10-03T02:58:16Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > > > Now isn’t that typical; they’re men, so they should be punished for the alleged sins of other men they have nothing to do with. > > I’m not saying that. I’m saying that it’s unusual enough to hear of men being wronged by gossip that I feel like I’m in Bizarro World. Hardly. Men have rumors and accusations (false and otherwise) about them spread all the time; this is relatively harmless compared to the more usual ones of being a child molester, a rapist, or an abuser. And of course there’s the old favorite of spreading rumors claiming a man is gay. There’s another thread in the Pit right now in fact about a man who suicided after his homosexual tryst was recorded and tossed onto the net. If anything the difference is that a woman is less likely to get imprisoned, assaulted, or killed because of it. Well, and that a woman is more likely to get sympathy instead of indifference or gloating. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/33 "2010-10-03T03:09:57Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > > > Now isn’t that typical; they’re men, so they should be punished for the alleged sins of other men they have nothing to do with. > > I’m not saying that. I’m saying that it’s unusual enough to hear of men being wronged by gossip that I feel like I’m in Bizarro World. I’m not getting joy out of this, but neither am I outraged. Men are victimized all the time by rumors of marital infidelity, homosexuality, pedohilia, etc. Even gossip about ostensibly normal hetero sex can result in snickering rumors about performance, size, erectile dysfunction, kinks, etc. Like I said, I loathe sophomoric male sexual braggadocio that dehumanizes women and I am not any more sympathetic to it when the genders are reversed. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/34 "2010-10-03T03:30:41Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Then what’s the point? You can get the same pleasure all by yourself. She was just masturbating, not having sex. If you think masturbating feels the same as no-emotions sex, you’re a whole lot better at masturbating than I am, and probably use some amazing props to boot. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/35 "2010-10-03T03:47:32Z")
On top of which - and I think this is the only reason this matters - if your opinion is that she was just masturbating, what’s wrong with that? [QUOTE=HowieReynolds] Right. Because there is no middle ground between a sexual free-for-all and being kept in a cage. If you think what she did is appropriate behavior, then I suppose that is your opinion. But I think one of the main purposes of civilization is to discourage people from just seeking the easiest possible pleasure they can find and to encourage them to achieve greater things. It’s what separates us from the animals. [/QUOTE] I do agree with all of this, and I apologize for being more hyperbolic about it than I need to. But I don’t see how this particular scenario, at least in terms of the sex (the documentation part was reckless and thoughtless) is an example of sexual licentiousness gone wrong. I mean, some people have thousands of sexual partners over decades. She was what, like 19 or 20 years old? And she probably slept with somewhere between 10 and 20 guys? The thing that distinguishes her from a normal college woman, whose dad presumably is free to be proud of her comportment, isn’t the frequency or profligacy with which she had sex; it’s the sense of entitlement she so obviously feels toward it. And in that regard, if in no other regard, I think she deserves to be defended. It really _is_ OK that she had sex with a bunch of athletes. It really _is_ OK that the things she was pursuing were apparently quite shallow. It’s very normal, and she acted like it was normal. Most people don’t do that, and most people expect women not to. But it is normal, and it isn’t reasonable to call her a whore etc. for it. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/36 "2010-10-03T06:03:08Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Even gossip about ostensibly normal hetero sex… or lack thereof. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/37 "2010-10-03T06:41:09Z")
It appears we have stumbled over a dope sexual more. They are surprisingly more prevalent than one would think. Frankly, I don’t really care one way or the other about her sex life, since, you know, it’s her’s and all. And if the guys are upset at people finding out they had sex with her, I submit that they shouldn’t have been having sex in the first place then. It shouldn’t be something to be embarrassed about. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/38 "2010-10-03T06:50:05Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > That is a bit unfair. She only intended to humiliate her sex partners to her close friends, one of whom sent it to someone else and it turned into [this commercial](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgDxWNV4wWY). Humiliate? She gave glowing reviews to the guys who were good. > [@RealityChuck](#): > > > [@mhendo](#): > > > > I simply don’t understand why that is “sad.” > > > > If both partners enjoy sex, i don’t see why it’s a problem to participate without an emotional connection. Yes, some people prefer to have that connection, and those people are welcome to restrict their sexual activity to instances where they feel such a connection, but i’m at a loss as to why it’s sad if two people experience pleasure from something that doesn’t affect you at all. > > Then what’s the point? You can get the same pleasure all by yourself. No you cannot. Give me a fucking break. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/39 "2010-10-03T06:53:59Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Then what’s the point? You can get the same pleasure all by yourself. She was just masturbating, not having sex. Marks **RealityChuck** down as someone who has never had a decent fuck, or is an incredibly good masturbator. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2010, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816/40 "2010-10-03T07:01:25Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > And if the guys are upset at people finding out they had sex with her, I submit that they shouldn’t have been having sex in the first place then. It shouldn’t be something to be embarrassed about. :rolleyes: That’s ridiculous. The vast majority of people do not want the details of their sex life spread about indiscriminately regardless of whether or not they are embarrassed about having sex in the first place. It’s called “privacy”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/duke-u-alumna-writes-thesis-on-her-extra-curricular-activities/555816.md?page=3)