# Dukes of Hazzard: The Short Version. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 3, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212 "2012-01-03T01:46:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212/61 "2012-01-05T01:16:43Z")
**The Fugitive: The Short Version** “Dr. Kimball, you stand accused of killing your wife. How do you plead?” “Not guilty, Your Honor. The murderer was a one-armed man I saw running from the scene.” “Oh. Well, in that case, Bailiff, release Dr. Kimball.” ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212/62 "2012-01-05T02:36:21Z")
A bored, broke college student murders and robs a storekeeper. Police follow a trail of bloody footprints through the snow and have him in jail within hours. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212/63 "2012-01-05T03:35:31Z")
**Casablanca** A cynical club owner sinks into depression and alcoholism after encountering the one-time love of his life, now married to a hero. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212/64 "2012-01-05T03:49:58Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > **Casablanca** > > A cynical club owner sinks into depression and alcoholism after encountering the one-time love of his life, now married to a hero. Enemy of the state and his wife are captured and executed for stealing official government documents. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212/65 "2012-01-05T03:59:05Z")
\*\*WKRP in Cincinnati: The Short Version \*\* “Johnny, here are some rock records. We’re changing formats.” “Great! Hey, Cincinnati–_booger!_” “Sorry, Johnny. The word ‘booger’ isn’t allowed on-air. You’re fired.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212/66 "2012-01-05T05:23:43Z")
“So, let’s see, we can go back to Alpha Quadrant, or we can let the Kazon massacre the Okampa.” “Yes, Captain.” “Well, the Prime Directive says we can’t interfere, so let’s go home.” ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212/67 "2012-01-05T07:39:42Z")
**Iron Man** Obadiah: So, we have this very convoluted plot of using a terrorist group to kill Tony Stark. Anonymous Henchman: Boss, why don’t we just kill him directly, say, using a bomb or something at his speech? Obadiah: …Ok. ---
**Author:** ![Dennis\_Arthur\_PERRETT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3e96dc/32.png) [@Dennis\_Arthur\_PERRETT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dennis_Arthur_PERRETT)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212/68 "2012-01-06T01:26:45Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > **Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Abridged Version** > > A young, blonde ingenue is called by mythic forces to combat vampires and demons. But, seeing as vampires and demons aren’t real, it was all in her head. She’s now a permanent resident of a psychiatric ward in Los Angeles. Yes, with all the rest of the vampires. Well, not all off them unfortunately… ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2012, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212/69 "2012-01-08T07:58:20Z")
Short version of **Serenity** : Mal: You know, I think we can make a better living with an Alliance shipping contract. Everyone else: Great idea! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dukes-of-hazzard-the-short-version/608212.md?page=3)