# "Dumb man" jokes--lame rant **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 4, 2004, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542 "2004-06-04T00:14:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/1 "2004-06-04T00:14:52Z")
I’m a member of a small, chatty webgroup that is comprised of women that have become acquainted through a larger webgroup on a topic completely irrelevant to this post. Someone or another is always sending out the latest extremely un-funny joke that very nearly always has a punchline based on the “dumb man” or “husband who doesn’t listen and does something stupid that makes his long-suffering wife roll her eyes”… thing. Usually I just ignore and delete these, but today decided to reply, outlining exactly why it was _not_ funny, and pointing out the fact that these types of sexist jokes are exactly the same type of un-funny as racist jokes, dumb blonde jokes, or incompetant woman driver jokes. And of course was promptly buried with a pile of email telling me to lighten up. Yes, I should probably have kept my mouth shut, but I’m very fond of male people, and I wouldn’t let racist jokes be passed around without expressing a very livid opinion, so why should I lend silent support to male-bashing jokes? At least my note was tactfully worded and without any kind of ranting tone. Pretty lame for a first pit rant, no? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/2 "2004-06-04T00:20:36Z")
Send them a bunch of wife-beating jokes and see what they say. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/3 "2004-06-04T00:30:30Z")
I’m a man and “dumb man” jokes don’t bother me. It’s not like men are an oppressed minority or anything. I say lighten up. Men are mostly bastards anyway. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/4 "2004-06-04T00:46:18Z")
lighten up ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/5 "2004-06-04T00:47:27Z")
I should have written more. Partly it’s a lame rant about “dumb man” jokes, partly it’s a lame rant on myself, about the fact that I sent a note to this group saying I think the jokes are un-funny, and partly it’s a lame rant about people who send out un-funny jokes–lame because clearly the rest of the group is amused and likes the jokes, so there’s no reason I should be cheesed that they’re being sent out. To be honest, I really never find written jokes amusing anyway, unless they’re based on extremely rotten, bad puns. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/6 "2004-06-04T00:55:53Z")
Doesn’t seem like a lame rant to me. If they don’t get the message that sexism isn’t acceptable, start mailing them all dumb woman jokes until they do. What I don’t understand is why this sexist behavior is written off by so many people. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/7 "2004-06-04T01:00:56Z")
It’s because men usually don’t take those jokes very seriously, or perhaps when they hear the ‘dumb man’ jokes or see the multitude of TV commercials that feature the ‘dumb man’ (he can’t follow a simple grocery list without pictures, he can’t fold a stroller, he can’t figure out how to do anything on his own, but the woman in his life does them all with ease), they simply think, “What an idiot! I’m glad I’m not _that_ guy…” ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/8 "2004-06-04T02:10:24Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Doesn’t seem like a lame rant to me. > > If they don’t get the message that sexism isn’t acceptable, start mailing them all dumb woman jokes until they do. > > What I don’t understand is why this sexist behavior is written off by so many people. It just doesn’t upset me. I don’t see how in the fictional butt of joke is in anyway reflective of me. _somebody_ has to be the butt of the joke. I doubt if any of these women think that these jokes are indicative of reality. If they do, then they’re too dumb to be worth the trouble of thinking about them. They’re just jokes people. Just jokes. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/9 "2004-06-04T02:48:37Z")
You say the same thing when someone makes fun of women for being shallow and ditzy and gold diggers? Or when someone makes a joke about black people and watermelon or fried chicken or cops? Or when someone rags on Jews about being cheap? ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/10 "2004-06-04T03:12:46Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > You say the same thing when someone makes fun of women for being shallow and ditzy and gold diggers? > > Or when someone makes a joke about black people and watermelon or fried chicken or cops? > > Or when someone rags on Jews about being cheap? She did say that she wouldn’t let racist jokes pass without a livid response, so that would answer at least part of your question. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/11 "2004-06-04T03:14:53Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > She did say that she wouldn’t let racist jokes pass without a livid response, so that would answer at least part of your question. Sorry, I retract. I misread the target of your response. It’s late. Or some lame excuse. I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/12 "2004-06-04T03:18:31Z")
I’m pretty sick of the doofus men punchlines, particularly in advertising. Add right in the “women luuuurve to shop” syndrome. Feh. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/13 "2004-06-04T03:29:33Z")
I HATE that type of thing. Especially in advertising, as another poster mentioned. I don’t know what to tell you to tell them. Other than just be honest and say that you don’t really appreciate that sort of thing, anymore than they’d appreciate dumb housewife jokes. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/14 "2004-06-04T03:46:17Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > You say the same thing when someone makes fun of women for being shallow and ditzy and gold diggers? > > Or when someone makes a joke about black people and watermelon or fried chicken or cops? > > Or when someone rags on Jews about being cheap? If I belonged to one of those groups I may well say the same thing. Black comedians poke fun with black stereotypes. One of my Jewish friends is all the time on about how stereotypical Jewish old lady/ Jewish mother behaviors/traits apply to her\*, (she really does hate to pay full price and she really does try to push food on you when you come over). Isaac Asimov has a whole chapter of Jewish jokes in his joke book. It’s very, very hard to see this behavior as offensive and wrong. Somethings are wrong and offensive and somethings are just jokes. If the jokes depend on the audience and teller believing that the jokes are indicative of reality, then I’d say that they cross that ethereal line. \*I’m not anywhere near old enough, bold enough nor sharp enough to try and ‘straighten out’ Mrs H and tell her that she’s being a racist. ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/15 "2004-06-04T03:57:23Z")
> [@SimonX](#): > > If I belonged to one of those groups I may well say the same thing. > Black comedians poke fun with black stereotypes. > One of my Jewish friends is all the time on about how stereotypical Jewish old lady/ Jewish mother behaviors/traits apply to her\*, (she really does hate to pay full price and she really does try to push food on you when you come over). Isaac Asimov has a whole chapter of Jewish jokes in his joke book. It’s very, very hard to see this behavior as offensive and wrong. Well, I think the difference is that the examples you give are reflective of groups poking fun at themselves. My situation is a bunch of women constantly passing around “men are dumb/incompetent/whatever” jokes. I can watch a black comedian poking fun with black stereotypes and be amused, but listening to, say, a white person telling a joke involving “jews and ay-rabs” would bother me greatly. I guess, for me at least, self-deprecating humor is okay, while humor belittling others just doesn’t strike me as particularly amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/16 "2004-06-04T05:00:35Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I’m a man and “dumb man” jokes don’t bother me. It’s not like men are an oppressed minority or anything. I say lighten up. Men are mostly bastards anyway. Well, you certainly are. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/17 "2004-06-04T05:32:00Z")
> [@MixieArmadillo](#): > > Well, I think the difference is that the examples you give are reflective of groups poking fun at themselves. My situation is a bunch of women constantly passing around “men are dumb/incompetent/whatever” jokes. I can watch a black comedian poking fun with black stereotypes and be amused, but listening to, say, a white person telling a joke involving “jews and ay-rabs” would bother me greatly. I guess, for me at least, self-deprecating humor is okay, while humor belittling others just doesn’t strike me as particularly amusing. This difference is true and noted. My comments that you quoted were specifically addressing **cat** ’s questions to me. I still have strong, corn-fed doubts about these women taking these jokes seriously or meaning them in any hostile manner. Many jokes depnd on someone being made fun of. It’s just how many jokes work. There’s a difference between using a joke to deride somebody and using a joke to make a joke. From Asimov’s Treasury of Humor: [a discussion of styereotypes] “Does it offend the Jew to be pictured in jokes as crass materialist of dubious ethical standards, reluctant to engage in sports or fisticuffs? Well, if the joke were told in a hostile fashion by someone clearly non-Jewish, in an accent such as no Jew ever spoke, it well might. I, however, though Jewish, as may by now have guessed, tell such jokes with relish. The groups who joing me in jokestersessions are usually (though by no means always) largely Jewish. They all tell such jokes and they all laugh at them. And why not?There is usually at least a little germ of truth to any stereotype;and if all groups are to live together in this world (and we must if there is to one world) let us know them. And let us know our own weaknesses, too, and then maybe we won’t expect toomuch of th other guy. But enough moralizing; let’s get on with the stereotype.” And of course, there’s the issue of the audience. After all, that’s where offense actually takes up residence when it does. “Needless to say, ethnic jokes are risky ones. The line between funny satire and outright offense is almost vanishingly small, and it exists in different places for the person who is of the ethnic group being satirized and the person who is not; for the person of an ethnic group who is feels secure because he is surrounded by others o fhis group, and for the same person who feels alone because he is not; for the person of an ethnic group who is feeling good that day, and for the same person who has been unsettled by the morning headlines.” ---
**Author:** ![MisterThyristor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@MisterThyristor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MisterThyristor)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/18 "2004-06-04T06:30:30Z")
This kind of reminds me of Tim Allen’s stand-up humor. He would tell a “dumb man” joke, and then when he had all the women laughing, he’d say “Heh-heh, too bad we own everything.” ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/19 "2004-06-04T13:44:49Z")
> [@](#): > > **SimonX** said: > I still have strong, corn-fed doubts about these women taking these jokes seriously or meaning them in any hostile manner. For one thing, I don’t have doubt about it. For another thing, is a joke about a black man being a crack addicted dead beat any less offensive if teller didn’t ‘mean it in any hostile manner’? It’s everywhere. Keychains, bumperstickers, t-shirts, advertising, tv shows, movies, etc. I see all these ‘jokes’ that would never, ever be tolerated the other way around (think of a t-shirt that read ‘Girls are OK. Every man should own one.’) being displayed in stores and I see students where I work wearing them. It’s become nothing but an awful stereotype. It’s stupid, it’s sexist, and it’s just not funny. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542/20 "2004-06-04T13:56:04Z")
It’s not only in your silly webgroup, like Hamadryad said, it’s in advertising, it’s the very BASIS of sitcoms like King of Queens or Everybody Loves Raymond (ever notice how the women NEVER EVER screw up on those shows? EVER?), and it’s right here on these boards a lot. It’s really funny to make fun of men and husbands and to perpetuate stereotypes like all women love shoes and chocolate and all men love powertools and sports. I’m not saying it’s offensive to everyone (although it really is to me because it’s an INSULT TO MY HUSBAND DIOGENES. My man is not a bastard), but also: It’s JUST NOT FUNNY. It’s like telling “Why did the chicken cross the road” jokes 59 times over. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-man-jokes-lame-rant/248542.md?page=2)