# Dumb, obvious jokes some people can't help but reflexively make **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2023, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928 "2023-12-21T12:09:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/81 "2023-12-22T15:38:52Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Wait, so I’m _not_ supposed to ask the cashier for “one _winning_ lottery ticket, please!” I guess I should stop telling the pharmacist, “Wait…no…no…let’s go with the _anti_-flu shot.” ---
**Author:** ![JacobSwan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@JacobSwan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JacobSwan)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/82 "2023-12-22T16:03:21Z")
I was once in a meeting with someone called Eileen Quinn, which is close enough to Aileen Quinn. We were supposed to be visiting a building site to check on progress, but it was a mud bath due to rain. I suggested we reschedule, as hopefully the sun will come out tomorrow. She smiled, but nobody else got the reference. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/83 "2023-12-22T16:11:31Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > We had an assistant principal here for 4 years whose name was Adam West. You can guess the rest from here. Years ago I worked with a guy who’s last name was “Batman”. I tried to avoid making any obvious jokes when he was first hired and introduced. I couldn’t imagine going through life with a name like that. I’m sure he’d heard every stupid joke imaginable, multiple times. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/84 "2023-12-22T16:52:03Z")
Being a Dave, people have said to me _“Dave’s not here, man!”_ more times than I can count over the last 50 years. It got old after, oh, I’d say after about the fifth time…which would’ve been early in 1972. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/85 "2023-12-22T16:54:14Z")
Any **2001** references? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/86 "2023-12-22T16:58:26Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Any **2001** references? Strangely enough, no. I guess quoting HAL isn’t nearly as funny to people as Cheech and Chong. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/87 "2023-12-22T17:02:02Z")
I’m seeing two sorts here … the ones we can’t stand hearing, and the ones we can’t stop ourselves from saying! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/88 "2023-12-22T17:02:47Z")
We know better… Dave. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/89 "2023-12-22T18:20:51Z")
HAL is probably why there’s no male operating system personas, at least not on Siri’s level. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/90 "2023-12-22T18:32:49Z")
Well it’s probably because women are viewed as more pleasant and accommodating than men, in general. Doesn’t HAL just prove it? I prefer the passive aggressive AI lady from Portal. I’ve never actually seen **2001** so I didn’t get the reference. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Krupe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Leo\_Krupe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Krupe)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/91 "2023-12-22T18:36:20Z")
Since I’m sick of “livin’ the dream,” I quote the immortal Spinal Tap from their song, “Hell Hole”: I’m ridin’ the jet stream. (The actual lyric is “I rode the jet stream”). It’s close enough to be relatable, but obscure and different enough to be entertaining. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/92 "2023-12-22T18:38:59Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > when somebody is buying a lottery ticket. I can’t help it. When the clerk asks if I want a receipt, I want to (and used to) say ‘In case I don’t win, I can get a refund?’ ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/93 "2023-12-22T19:27:26Z")
Someone please tell Mrs. Cad to stop joking about refueling when we are driving her Tesla past a gas station. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/94 "2023-12-22T19:36:03Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Most springs at some point I’ll look at a calendar and mention that easter falls on a Sunday this year. I’ll bet 90% of the time the person I’m talking to calmly explains that it is always on a Sunday. I’ll bet that 90% of those people have been in at least one discussion with somebody who didn’t understand that. (The other 10% just have a better deadpan than you do.) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/95 "2023-12-22T21:18:26Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I’ll bet that 90% of those people have been in at least one discussion with somebody who didn’t understand that. Our friends with an apple orchard dropped off apples for xmas for me and my employees. One young woman (25 with two kids) told me she had no idea what to do with all the apples. They never ate apples. I started telling her all the things _we_ do; baked apples, applesauce, sliced dehydrated apples, apple crumble, apple pie, and when I said “apple pie” she laughed. She thought I was joking. She thought to make apple pie you bought canned sliced apples (that’s her only experience with making apple pie). ---
**Author:** ![moes\_lotion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@moes\_lotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moes_lotion)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/96 "2023-12-22T22:21:17Z")
> [@solost](#): > > In the ER I asked the doc “will I be able to play the guitar after it heals?” He assured me I’d be able to. I said “great, I couldn’t play before!” I managed to inflict a bucket handle tear in the medial meniscus of my right knee that required surgery. At the close of the pre-op visit, the Doctor asked if I had any other questions, so naturally I asked “Will I be able to play the violin after the operation.” He didn’t appear to get the reference, however the younger intern who was present did crack a smile. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/97 "2023-12-22T23:29:04Z")
One time I was visiting London, and I wanted to see a church for which the best transportation was to go to the Wimbledon tube stop. An employee saw me looking at the Tube map, and afterward, my stairway wit realized that I should have said “How do I get to Wimbledon?” and see if he took the bait. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/98 "2023-12-22T23:36:24Z")
> [@griffin1977](#): > > I am a firm (pun intended) believer that caulk double entendres _never_ get old. Cos, it sounds almost exactly like “cock” LOL! > > You could work in the caulk aisle of the DIY for forty years and hearing “I’m gonna get my caulk out” will never not be funny 😉 Years ago Mrs. J. and I were passing down the weatherstripping aisle at Lowe’s and I remarked to her that I needed some caulk. She shushed me. 🤔 😄 ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/99 "2023-12-22T23:41:52Z")
These “caulk” jokes are a little puzzling to me because I don’t pronounce “caulk” like “cock”. At first I thought that it was just because having grown up in Chicago, I don’t have the COT/CAUGHT merger, and the people who are making these jokes do (so they pronounce “cot” and “caught” the same). But I wonder if there’s more to it than that. Does anyone pronounce “cot” and “caught” differently, but pronounce “cock” and “caulk” the same? ETA Actually I’m going to make a poll about this in the Polls Only thread. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2023, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/100 "2023-12-22T23:42:17Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Years ago Mrs. J. and I were passing down the weatherstripping aisle at Lowe’s and I remarked to her that I needed some caulk. Your conversation was [recorded](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDzEb28mjcI&ab_channel=ComedyCentral). Almost NSFW [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928.md?page=6)