# Dumb, obvious jokes some people can't help but reflexively make **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2023, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928 "2023-12-21T12:09:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2023, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/141 "2023-12-27T18:49:41Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > “You are a cab, sir. I’m grateful you didn’t ask me to call you a hansom cab.” From Tom Stoppard’s _On the Razzle_: “Call me a half-witted cab, you hansom fool!” ---
**Author:** ![Disinfectus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/disinfectus/32/11085_2.png) [@Disinfectus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disinfectus)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2023, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/142 "2023-12-27T19:24:01Z")
When passing a cemetery, “People are dying to get in there!” Stopped being funny when I was about 10. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2023, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/143 "2023-12-27T19:33:16Z")
I was in a coffee shop and asked for cappuccino. The server gave me my drink, then held out the shaker. “Chocolate?” he said. “Yes. I know” I replied, deadpan. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2023, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/144 "2023-12-27T19:43:26Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > “Chocolate?” he said. > > “Yes. I know” I replied, deadpan. I think I would have said “Yes, it is.” ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2023, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/145 "2023-12-27T19:48:55Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/o2EL5VxO9Hs/maxresdefault.jpg "Police Squad - Cigarette") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2EL5VxO9Hs) ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2023, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/146 "2023-12-27T23:14:04Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > > [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > > > Chocolate?” he said. > > > > “Yes. I know” I replied, deadpan. > > I think I would have said “Yes, it is.” “What is a noun[?]” “No it isn’t” This caused bedlam in middle school English class. ---
**Author:** ![pirviii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pirviii/32/3233_2.png) [@pirviii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pirviii)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2023, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/147 "2023-12-28T02:56:51Z")
Repeating in a Borat type voice “My wife” whenever someone mentions their female spouse. ---
**Author:** ![wanderer2575](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@wanderer2575](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wanderer2575)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2023, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/148 "2023-12-28T09:54:09Z")
I’m in Payroll. How many times have I heard “Hey, add a zero to my check” or “You can give me a second check anytime”? Nyuk, nyuk. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2023, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/149 "2023-12-28T10:44:51Z")
Hey, welcome back ! I hope you’ve got a note from your mum to explain your absence ! (Yes, i know it’s a dumb, obvious joke but i couldn’t help but reflexively make it !) ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2023, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/150 "2023-12-28T11:12:50Z")
hey, it really seems you wandered off _chr chr_ ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2023, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/151 "2023-12-29T20:56:13Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Also: > “Will you call me an Uber?” > > “Okay. You’re an Uber.” When I was a kid, this was often heard between my siblings and I. “Hey, can you make me a sandwich?” “Poof! You’re a sandwich!” ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2023, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/152 "2023-12-29T21:15:55Z")
Another variation: once my daughter couldn’t find her phone. “Can you call my phone?” Me: “Heeeeeeeere, phone! Heeeeeeeere phone phone phone!” I thought it was hilarious. She did not. ---
**Author:** ![OldOlds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a3d4f5/32.png) [@OldOlds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldOlds)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/153 "2023-12-30T13:46:18Z")
My admin. I love her. I value her. I have told her she has a job for life. But every time I call the office and she sees my number on the caller ID, she answers “Joe’s Bar and Grill” And after literally hundreds of times, she still thinks it’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/154 "2023-12-30T15:39:55Z")
It kind of is. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/155 "2023-12-30T18:02:07Z")
Apropos to the holiday, I couldn’t resist saying “I’m taking the rest of the year off!” when I left work Friday. And I’m sure I’ll tell some poor cow-orker “I haven’t seen you since last year!” when I go back on January 2nd. I would call myself “King of the Dad Joke”, but @Prof.Pepperwinkle pretty much has that title locked up. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/156 "2023-12-30T19:30:03Z")
When I retired in September one of my parting comments to a cow-orker was “I’m taking the rest of the year off!” Not knowing my personal situation they seemed perplexed by this familiar but unseasonable comment. On further consideration I now think I’ll take the rest of 2024 off as well. So now I know what to say right after we finish the countdown and shout “Happy New Year!” 😁 🤪 Thanks for the inspiration. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/157 "2023-12-30T21:17:31Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > When I retired in September one of my parting comments to a cow-orker was “I’m taking the rest of the year off!” Not knowing my personal situation they seemed perplexed by this familiar but unseasonable comment. > > On further consideration I now think I’ll take the rest of 2024 off as well. So now I know what to say right after we finish the countdown and shout “Happy New Year!” 😁 🤪 > > Thanks for the inspiration Oh, god, what have I done? _WHAT HAVE I DONE?_ ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/158 "2023-12-30T21:19:59Z")
> [@Disinfectus](#): > > When passing a cemetery, “People are dying to get in there!” > > Stopped being funny when I was about 10. Well, it is the dead centre of town. ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2023, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/159 "2023-12-31T00:04:25Z")
I prefer “Heaven, God speaking.” ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2023, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928/160 "2023-12-31T00:43:20Z")
> [@GESancMan](#): > > Another variation: once my daughter couldn’t find her phone. “Can you call my phone?” > > Me: “Heeeeeeeere, phone! Heeeeeeeere phone phone phone!” > > I thought it was hilarious. She did not. In my household\*, if one loses an object, the first step to finding it is to stand in the middle of the room, eyes closed and arms outstretched, fingers of each hand touching, while intoning, “First, I must become one with [the phone].” \*I live alone. This might help explain it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-obvious-jokes-some-people-cant-help-but-reflexively-make/994928.md?page=9)