# Dumb pets **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 1, 2017, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243 "2017-12-01T13:02:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2017, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/21 "2017-12-01T23:52:03Z")
I’m pretty sure our pug is psychic. She must see dead people - why else would she bark like a maniac at an empty yard? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/22 "2017-12-02T02:55:20Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I’m pretty sure our pug is psychic. She must see dead people - why else would she bark like a maniac at an empty yard? Rake up the goddam leaves, cut the grass. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/23 "2017-12-02T03:19:33Z")
My cats are all fervent anti-vaxxers. You should hear the fuss they put up when I bring them into the vet’s for rabies shots. Their willful ignorance on this debunked hokum is embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/24 "2017-12-02T19:11:12Z")
My cat Dirk broke my DVD player. When I tell people that, I like for them to ask me “how”? so I can tell them he told me he could hack it to be region-free but now it doesn’t work at all. Stupid cat. Actually he is just fat and jumped on the drawer when it was open. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/25 "2017-12-02T19:32:25Z")
> [@TPWombat](#): > > My cat Dirk broke my DVD player. When I tell people that, I like for them to ask me “how”? so I can tell them he told me he could hack it to be region-free but now it doesn’t work at all. > > Stupid cat. > > Actually he is just fat and jumped on the drawer when it was open. He’s probably looking for parts. ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/26 "2017-12-02T19:52:56Z")
I have a cat that as a kitten had no clue how to groom, my older cat had to show him. This cat was abandoned by his mother due to him being too big for her to move. He was HUGE, way bigger than the other kittens. I have a dog that barks at anything that sounds like a person knocking, even if you rap on a table in front of him. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/27 "2017-12-02T20:31:08Z")
> [@Brodi](#): > > I have a dog that barks at anything that sounds like a person knocking, even if you rap on a table in front of him. Our dogs bark at doorbells on television. I guess I should blame Onkyo high fidelity. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/28 "2017-12-02T20:34:20Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I dunno, man. In all the years I’ve done taxes, even when I was paying off a mortgage, the standard deduction always worked out better, and a lot less hassle. > > Give the dog a break. My dog has a shitload of student loans; he should have foreseen that eventually the Repubs would rescind claiming SL loan interest. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/29 "2017-12-02T20:35:27Z")
> [@Cardigan](#): > > Yeah, I hear you. You’d think they would at least hold the ladder steady. But I’m afraid that’s pretty typical pet ingratitude these days. Millenial dogs are so lazy and entitled. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/30 "2017-12-02T20:37:30Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Our dogs bark at doorbells on television. > I guess I should blame Onkyo high fidelity. The doorbells on tv get ours every time. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2017, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/31 "2017-12-02T21:33:19Z")
> [@TPWombat](#): > > My cat Dirk broke my DVD player. When I tell people that, I like for them to ask me “how”? so I can tell them he told me he could hack it to be region-free but now it doesn’t work at all. He made it region-free. Its free of all regions. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/32 "2017-12-03T01:45:31Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I’ve had dogs that would sit in front of the sink and stare at the faucet when they were out of water. You’d think it they were that damn smart, they’d grab a glass and get their own drink. I had a shepherd who could turn on faucets. [and truth is stranger than fiction, people…] ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/33 "2017-12-03T02:10:05Z")
> [@Brodi](#): > > …I have a dog that barks at anything that sounds like a person knocking, even if you rap on a table in front of him. I’m pretty sure ALL dogs do this. We used to play hide-and-seek with our Bichon. It really was entertaining watching her run from room to room. Sadistic? Perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/34 "2017-12-03T03:23:23Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I’ve had dogs that would sit in front of the sink and stare at the faucet when they were out of water. You’d think it they were that damn smart, they’d grab a glass and get their own drink. The hell are you doing, letting your dogs run out of water? I bet they have SPCAES on speed dial. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/35 "2017-12-03T06:02:05Z")
My dog is so dumb (this should a thread game, btw) she begs the cats for their food. They eat up on a counter and she sits below them in the beg position and whines, til a morsel falls, she eats it and spins in her happy dog dance. I am really gonna lose it if one of the cats says ‘who’s a good girl’ one of these days! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/36 "2017-12-03T06:22:36Z")
My cats aren’t dumb. They’ve trained me well enough. As the saying goes, “Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.” ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/37 "2017-12-03T06:28:44Z")
Personally I am a cat slave and cat furniture. I have to praise their beauty and brains everyday or they act all aloof and cranky. And for Gods sake don’t forget treat time. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/38 "2017-12-03T06:56:40Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Personally I am a cat slave and cat furniture. I have to praise their beauty and brains everyday or they act all aloof and cranky. And for Gods sake don’t forget treat time. Isn’t that the truth! I don’t know how they do it, but every day around 6:00 pm, I’m surrounded by my cats who are meowing for their daily treats. It makes no difference whether the sun has set, or whether the clocks have switched from standard to daylight time (or vice versa), I’m nagged for treats every day at about 6:00 pm. How they manage that, I don’t know, but they are certainly not dumb animals! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/39 "2017-12-03T08:09:16Z")
I met one of my neighbors who was out walking his puppy. We chatted for a bit and he mentioned that the dog was half rottweiler and half border collie. I said that was a dangerous combination; a dog that could kill you, and make it look like an accident. I’ve never met a cat that could parallel park worth a damn. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2017, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243/40 "2017-12-03T15:17:14Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I met one of my neighbors who was out walking his puppy. We chatted for a bit and he mentioned that the dog was half rottweiler and half border collie. I said that was a dangerous combination; a dog that could kill you, and make it look like an accident. > > +10 > > I’ve never met a cat that could parallel park worth a damn. [Parallel park? Pfft.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_hwerqogzQ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-pets/803243.md?page=3)