# dumb songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 15, 2015, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543 "2015-12-15T16:40:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2015, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/41 "2015-12-17T14:10:06Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Don’t know if it’s dumb but [Transfusion by Nervous Norvus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jojuPQXMm44) was certainly odd. There was an episode of Leave It to Beaver where Lumpy Rutherford (?) was for some reason waiting in a car, and he passed the time by beating on the steering wheel and chanting “Zoom, zoom, zooma zooma zooma zooma,” which seemed very odd to me. Years later I first heard Dr. Demento play “Transfusion” and realized that’s what Lumpy was singing. ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2015, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/42 "2015-12-17T16:06:09Z")
> [@PapSett](#): > > The winner? They’re Coming to Take Me Away. this ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/43 "2015-12-17T18:10:26Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > this Are you sure? Have you heard Does Your Chewing Gun Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight? ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2015, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/44 "2015-12-17T20:16:18Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I must take exception with “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh” being a dumb song. It’s very clever and tells a story. > > [You want dumb?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0psWy_XLP0g) I don’t think that song (“There’s a New Sound”) should count because [it was meant to be stupid and annoying in order to make a point](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Burrello). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/45 "2015-12-17T21:16:41Z")
In the “but it wasn’t supposed to be dumb” category, I nominate two songs so hideously stupid I refuse to link to any rendition of them lest I be accused of slaying other people’s brain cells wantonly…but unlike most of the songs here, they weren’t meant to be taken as jokes… McArther Park In the Year 2525 ---
**Author:** ![scoots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@scoots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scoots)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/46 "2015-12-17T21:45:53Z")
[Bernard Cribbins - Right Said Fred](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge_4SlJWfl0) And Chewing Gum on the Bedpost reminds me of another Lonnie Donegan song: [My old man’s a dustman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODEShfdxoR0) ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2015, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/47 "2015-12-17T22:28:56Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > There was an episode of Leave It to Beaver where Lumpy Rutherford (?) was for some reason waiting in a car, and he passed the time by beating on the steering wheel and chanting “Zoom, zoom, zooma zooma zooma zooma,” which seemed very odd to me. Years later I first heard Dr. Demento play “Transfusion” and realized that’s what Lumpy was singing. Cool coincidence here. Yesterday, for no particular reason I can think of, I found myself remembering that bit with Clarence\* zooming on the steering wheel, wondering what song he was doing. Now I know. (\* Fred’s lad.) ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2015, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/48 "2015-12-17T22:34:30Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > Then there’s the Mothers’ sly take on dumb pop, “Wowie Zowie”. And you think YOU know where it’s at? All these years later and I still laugh everytime I hear the dumb teenager blurt out his confession: “Mom, I toreabigholeintheconvertible.” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2015, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/49 "2015-12-17T23:48:43Z")
How about [Spike Jones and his City Slickers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tum4XL9x_Ns)? [The Man on the Flying Trapeze](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAQFtntTlzA) [Chlo-E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KME5UuR9DZw) [A Serenade to a Jerk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fq8Q1bKoXU) [Our Hour (Puppy Love Song)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV8GgAb663E) > [@cjepson](#): > > [“Highly Illogical”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru9e2rTHeuk) by Leonard Nimoy [The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGF5ROpjRAU) ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2015, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/50 "2015-12-18T00:13:50Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > And you think YOU know where it’s at? > > All these years later and I still laugh everytime I hear the dumb teenager blurt out his confession: > “Mom, I toreabigholeintheconvertible.” Oops. Wrong song. I shall commit seppuku at once. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2015, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/51 "2015-12-18T14:59:59Z")
How about “[The Laughing Gnome](http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=the+laughing+gnome+bowie+youtube&view=detail&qpvt=the+laughing+gnome+bowie+youtube&mid=031F3098A9CE0F6C578C031F3098A9CE0F6C578C)” by David Bowie? If I’d done that, I’d wake up every morning wishing I could hit the cosmic erase button. Another example of a musical portrayal of a really dumb character is [“That’s My Girl”](http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=hey+thats+my+girl+monks+youtube&view=detail&&mid=D44AAF70DC25EB2F21F3D44AAF70DC25EB2F21F3) by the Monks. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2015, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/52 "2015-12-18T15:54:10Z")
I just heard [Teenage Enema Nurse](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5ep8jp2zkQ) on KROQ’s rock of the '80s stream. Actually I think it’s a pretty \*good \*song but sophisticated it aint. If I switch to a '70s station I might hear [Bertha Butt Boogie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LQJYgs1sxc). Dumb might have in fact been the default for 70s pop music. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/53 "2015-12-18T23:04:42Z")
[This Is Ponderous](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0xWLahk86I) by 2Nu ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2015, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/54 "2015-12-20T14:38:20Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > I’m particularly fond of vocal records that decide that language is a barrier to communicating, and it’s best to do away with most of it. > > e.g.: > > [Mule Skinner Blues](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3-mh3vXDA0) - The Fendermen (first heard it when I was five, affected my perception of what music should be ever since) > > [No More Hot Dogs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Nz9jR_AuLM) - Hasil Adkins (I _dare_ you to find a more menacing laugh. Warning: nonsensical violence) > > [She Said](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R9-84SmsRw) - The Cramps (but written by Hasil Adkins). The words you can figure out sound like they’re sung through a peanut and butter jelly sandwich. > > But to confirm that dumb songs can be some of the smartest. I think I started my first thread on the SDMB about [The Call of the Wighat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGQzWxLEc48). The song makes no literal sense, but it is a work of absolute beauty. Lux and the Cramps thoroughly understood that Rock 'n Roll was at its best when it went to that place that you only understand on an animal level. Agree completely with that and your selections. I was big into The Cramps in the 80’s, then life intervened and I forgot about them and Call Of The Wighat. It’s on my playlist now, as well as What’s Inside A Girl, where they should have been all along. Thanks for reviving some classic rock for me. RIP Lux. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2015, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/55 "2015-12-20T15:46:24Z")
In the spirit of this thread I’ll nominate Invisible Birds: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/tKq5nv9G68c/maxresdefault.jpg "Invisible Birds") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKq5nv9G68c) But I agree most of these songs aren’t dumb in the same sense that McAuther Park is dumb. In this category I’ll nominate American Pie. I know I’m probably in the minority on this because everyone loves this song but imo it’s dumb. As far as the Beatle songs mentioned I’ll conceede I can’t defend Why Don’t We Do It in The Road but EGSTHEFMAMM is a nice little rocker. ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/56 "2015-12-29T19:47:18Z")
One from Britain, IMO high up there where sheer idiocy is concerned. An (English-language) song from South Wales, _Crawshay Bailey_ (sometimes corrupted to “Cosher” Bailey). Crawshay Bailey was a real historical personage – an early-nineteenth-century industrialist active in South Wales. The song, however – which has potentially dozens of verses – is largely pure nonsense concerning the eccentric doings of Crawshay and his various relatives, plus plenty of verses just about “random Welsh stuff”. Attempted Googling failed to yield for me, any lyrics for the song. Am therefore setting out the parts of it which I remember: which I plan to do in a post immediately following this one. ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2015, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/57 "2015-12-29T19:50:55Z")
WORDS OF SONG _CRAWSHAY BAILEY_ Crawshay Bailey had an engine, And she always needed mending, But according to the power She could do four miles an hour. REFRAIN Did you ever see, did you ever see, Did you ever see such a funny thing before? Crawshay had her second-hand. And he painted her so grand; When the driver went to oil her, Why, he nearly burst the boiler… On the night run up from Gower She did twenty miles an hour – As she whistled through the station, And she frightened half the nation… Crawshay Bailey’s brother Norwich Was fond of oatmeal porridge, But was sent to Cardiff College For to get himself some knowledge. Crawshay Bailey’s brother Michael He rides a motor-cycle – He rode right round the Gower In a quarter of an hour. (I remember only the first halves of the verses about his brothers Rupert and Morgan: Crawshay Bailey’s brother Rupert He played scrum-half for Newport and Crawshay Bailey’s brother Morgan In the chapel plays the organ… ) Crawshay’s little sister Lily She played soccer for Caerphilly; But when she took up rugger, She looked such a silly – billy. Crawshay Bailey’s auntie Anna She plays the grand pianner: She goes hammer, hammer, hammer, And the neighbours shout, God – bless her ! Have you ever been to Wales Where they brew the beer and ales? If you go to church on Sunday You must buy a round on Monday. Oh, the choir on Sunday night Sing much better when they’re tight – Their performance of “Cwm Rhondda” Makes the angels shake up yonder. You should see the bees of Gower As they flit from flower to flower; You should see the bees of Llangollen As they gather in the pollen… Crawshay Bailey died one day: In his coffin there he lay – On the lid they heard a knocking: Crawshay Bailey was just joking ! (“Gower”, mentioned several times, is a picturesque and rather delightful rural area: a peninsula some fifteen by five miles, immediately west of Swansea.) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2015, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/58 "2015-12-29T21:47:19Z")
[Cosher Bailey’s Engine](http://www.musicanet.org/robokopp/welsh/cosher.htm) [video of “Cosher Bailey’s Engine” on guitar with lyrics and chords](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3tEX4GnYvU) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2015, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/59 "2015-12-29T21:51:01Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I just heard [Teenage Enema Nurse](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5ep8jp2zkQ) on KROQ’s rock of the '80s stream. Actually I think it’s a pretty \*good \*song but sophisticated it aint. I had heard of this song, but never heard it…until right now. Anyone else think it’s a parody, or takeoff, or whatever, of “Rock Lobster”? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2015, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543/60 "2015-12-29T21:53:39Z")
Splish Splash. I like Bobby Darin, but come on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-songs/740543.md?page=4)