After a particularly long shift one night I went home and was unable to get into my house.
Because I couldn’t figure out how to unlock the door with my keys.
There are two locks on the door, a bolt and a knob, each with it’s own key. I’d get one open but end up locking the other. And vice versa.
I eventually gave up and went around the back to the patio.
There’s only a doorknob lock there, no bolt, so I managed, eventually, to get inside the freaking house.
I have a new ceiling fan in my bedroom (okay, it’s been there a month) and it has two pulls–one for the light, one for the blades, and the whole thing is connected to my wall switch. Every hot night when I want to leave the fan on I think to my self “self, just pull the cord, don’t turn off the wall switch.” And every night, I promptly turn around, turn off the fan and light fromthe wall sitch, get into bed, lie there for 5-10 seconds before realizing what I’ve done and getting up to turn on the light/fan and then turn off the light. Every night! I’m afraid that my neighbors will think I’m signalling aliens or something!
When the power was out here earlier this year due to an ice storm, I put a load of clothes in the washing machine and tried to turn it on.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, later that same day I also put something into the microwave and was momentarily mystified when it wouldn’t turn on. :smack:
I’ve put the milk in the cupboard the breakfast cerial in the fridge before.
A few times I’ve put the tv remote in the fridge.
Sometimes I try to use the phone to change channels.
One time I bought an expensive ice-cream cone, the the signal from my brain to put the wrapper in the bin was sent to the wrong arm.
(I put the icecream in the bin)
I’ve trained myself never to close a door without having my keys in my hand. This applies even if the door has no lock, or I’m getting out of somebody else’s car. Usually I manage to put them away before anybody notices.
I got locked in my house a couple of months ago.
My mom had been there the day before, and left my keys in the mailbox for me. Hubby gets home first, so I didn’t even think to grab them. Hubby leaves for work before I even wake up, and always locks the door behind him.
Ok - I’ll climb out a window. PROBLEM! Old house + old windows + humidity = windows that stick!
Frantically, I called my MIL (whom I work with), but she had already left, my SIL who was out for the day, and a friend whose cell phone died before I could finish two sentences! I had to call my old boss at work a couple of blocks down the street to come open my door for me! The friend with the phone came by anyway, because I sounded so panicked when I called!
Yes, I AM a natural blonde!
I always look at my watch when talking of any amount of time, even though my watch has no date display. Well, as a matter of face, my watch also lacks exsistence. I’ve even held up wrist before and never bothered to look at it. That was fairly embarassing.
Also, I have a tendency to blow on ice cream when I eat it out of a bowl. Except, it only happens when I eat at a Ryan’s. I don’t know if my brain registers it as soup or what, but that’s embarassing whenever I catch myself doing that.
I often look at my watch for no reason. I will look at it, someone will have noticed this and will ask me what time it is, I’ll have to look again.
I’ve blown ice-cream too.
I was putting in a kitchen floor once (one of those new fangled kit floors. It was my kitchen) for comfort I was sliding about on pillows (building up huge amounst of static differencial). I got up, to to a different job. I absent-mindedly touched the radiator. The resulting spazm scared the living shit out of my mother who was working nearby, she thought I was attacking her.
there are too many active sex threads, cause it took me a minute to understand what that meant.
but now that i do, i’ve done that too, before giving the bowl to my child.
i’ve also almost poured milk intended for the cereal straight down the sink.
and i never remember if i have turned off the coffee pot, closed the garage door, or locked the kitchen door until i am in town. and i live in the middle of nowhere, so if i want to drive back to find out all these things (i almost always have done what i have forgotten to do) then i would waste hours.
and it always takes me 15 minutes longer than i think it will to get out of the house. i forget my keys, sunglasses, checkbook, phone, cigs, shopping list, passifier, ect.
I’m the queen of this. I’ve given my learner’s permit to the dining hall checker to scan instead of my school id. When living in the dorm, I attempted to stick my room key in the mailbox slot. I have a strange tendency to overlook things that are right in front of my face.
Papa Tiger had laser surgery a couple years ago, and now only needs glasses for distance. So instead of putting his glasses on before he gets out of bed and not taking them off till he gets into bed at night, he puts them on and takes them off ALL the time. And then lays them down ANYWHERE. We play hunt-the-glasses at LEAST twice a week. Grrr.
I’ve put the lettuce in the freezer (whiterabbit, reading over my shoulder: “Gives a whole new meaning to iceberg lettuce!”) and poured the coffee grounds in where the water goes on more than one occasion. Fortunately, my car has a “keyless entry” number pad so I no longer have to worry about locking my keys in the car – or, for that matter, needing my keys when I run out to get something out of the car.
Like most people, we have three remotes sitting on the coffee table (TV, VCR, DVD) - all black, and a black cordless phone, and a black calculator. If I’m particularly stunned on any given day, it is more than I can handle to turn on a TV or make a phone call. I actually picked up the phone one day and was trying to make it do calculations for me.
We just bought a new air filtering device, and I needed to turn it off when I got up this morning. It never once occurred to me until Jim asked me why I unplugged it instead of just switching it off. Um, cause it was 7:30 am, and my brain gets up at 10:00 am?
At work, the fancy new women’s restroom has automatic faucets. Yep, I’m forever waving my hands under regular, non-fancy faucets. It’s really embarrassing when somebody else is there watching me try to invoke the invisible water pixies.
A couple of years ago my microwave died and it was going to be a day or two before maintainence could get me a new one. The first night I just stood in the kitchen, with absolutely no idea how to heat a can of soup without using the microwave. I knew it was possible to do it, because I remembered canned food had been around since Napolean, but which appliance? Yeesh.
I am always trying to push doors that say ‘pull’ and vice versa (often bumping into the door)
And I think I’ve stood in front of glass doors waiting for them to slide open .
A couple of times when I’ve been really short on sleep I’ve poured my coffee onto my cereal instead of into my mug.
I’ve pulled my wallet out of my bag in order to take a photo and pulled out my camera in order to pay for something.
I also tend to look at my watch for no good reason and have to look at it again if someone asks me the time. And of course I do the good old keep on checking my bare wrist thing if I’m not wearing my watch.
Here’s hoping we dumb people never forget to get dressed.
Use to work at a place that had one of those card activated barrier things in the parking garage. You’d hold a card in front of it and the barrier went up. I’d be the driver for taking people to lunch and would sometimes drive up to the barrier, push my home remote garage opener. Nothing would happen, of course, and everyone would laugh like loons.
Drove home one day and about an hour later could not find my keys, which means my house and car keys. So I’m thinking, “I left them at work, I bet! I’ll just drive into work and look for them!!..um,…huh…well, maybe not…”.
Let’s not talk about the time I put my check book in the fridge.
My roommate has a habit of watching tv, remote in hand, and deciding to get up for a snack. She then walks into kitchen with the remote, sets it on the counter, goes to the fridge, pulls out a gallon of milk, gets out a glass from the cupboard and fills it with milk, puts the gallon of milk in the cupboard with the glasses, the remote in the refridgerator, and goes back to the couch, glass of milk in hand.
We spend a lot of time looking for the remote control in my house.
Peace,
~mixie
the refrigerator, too.
For 5 years now I have parked in the same assigned spot at work - lucky 13. The other day I come in to work and pull into my space. Except when I look up, I’m in #12. Funny how you can do something for years, day in and day out, and then you have a brain fart like that.