# Dumb Things You Think About **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630 "2011-11-11T19:15:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/61 "2011-11-17T00:16:18Z")
I just gotta say thank you for making me realize that I’M NOT INSANE!! I have a pretty active imagination and several story lines I revisit (or make up a new one) when doing something mindless. I must have two or three novels in my head at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/62 "2011-11-17T04:39:53Z")
“Lucifer’s Hammer” - the asteroid has struck the Pacific Ocean, and LA is gone. Somehow, somehow I’ve managed to survive the trip to the Sierra Nevada foothills and I come up against the guards for one of the last surviving colonies of civilisation. What do I tell them to (a) keep them from killing me, (b) keep them from telling me to get lost, © convince them to give me a meal until their sergeant can talk to me, or (d) get an audience with the colony boss and convince him that they really do need my skills to help the colony survive (or of course, (e), something to do with the women’s dormitory, but… nah, never mind.) ---
**Author:** ![cruel\_butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@cruel\_butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cruel_butterfly)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/63 "2011-11-17T05:36:10Z")
My 14-year-old and I often discuss our survival plan should there ever be an actual zombie apocalypse. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/64 "2011-11-17T05:41:35Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Me too. My mother wrote her will when my father died giving me custody of my little two sisters. I was married and could have easily handled the task, but being without children yet when the will was first written, I had a lot of fantasies about whether or not people would believe they were my own children, etc. I thought about raising them for years. And when they turned 18, then graduated from college, etc., and were out on their own, I would get a feeling of vague disappointment … until “geez what am I thinking???” would kick in! You know, since that post I’ve been wondering if I should have been impressed that my parents had that much faith in my 18-year-old self, or concerned about how irresponsible they must have considered our aunt! I love her, but I really might have been the better choice since she never had kids and didn’t regret it. At that point I’d already had more experience taking care of him on my own (for a week) than she did:D ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/65 "2011-11-17T10:14:04Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > And I also give “guided tours” to historical figures, showing them the kind of world that will exist in their future. (Abraham Lincoln gets a big kick out of turning lights on and off.) A variation of this is escorting a 3rd-world person through one of our supermarkets or drugstores. This. Mozart is my favourite: I let him listen to the music on my MP3 player and wonder what he will compose after being inspired by Air’s _all I need_ or by modern R&B. I’m also deep into Auels Earth Children books, so I wonder how I would do when transported back into Stone Age Cro Magnon France. More so after I actually visited most caves and sites in the fourth book, " The shelters of stone" last year. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/66 "2011-11-17T18:26:56Z")
At my last job I had a lot of down time so I’d sometimes spend many hours of the day playing Spider Soltaire. Always the hardest version with 4 suits. In my mind there would be an olympic style comentary being given, always with two comentators. If I was doing well, they’d be noting how unique and brilliant my playing style was. If I was doing poorly, they’d be commenting on how I was off my game. Yes. I am a geek 🙂 I also sometimes like to imagine what it would be like to show a time traveler from some previous century how life is like today but it’s always just an ordinary person, not someone famous. I imagine that someone from the 15th century who was particulary religious/superstitious might think that things were magic/possessed by the devil. I also imagine that I’m going to have to coach them in proper 21st century personal hygiene. And I occasionally imagine my own death and how my various loved ones would respond which is sad and morbid and I try to shake those thoughts from my brain when they come up. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/67 "2011-11-17T19:01:44Z")
Sometimes I fantasize about bringing people here from the past and explaining to them our technology and daily lives, answering any questions they might have. And if it was some poor urchin, I’d cook a huge meal for them. I also think about ancient Egyptian pharaohs’ wacky little habits and personality quirks. In my headcanon, Tutankhamun thew massive tantrums, the Ptolemies drank themselves stupid every day, and Ramses II had an embarrassingly high-pitched voice. (Two of these are based on things I’ve heard from other places, but if anyone can link me to any official sources saying that some or all of these things are true, I will be a very happy Doper.) ---
**Author:** ![BestWifeEver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/838e76/32.png) [@BestWifeEver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BestWifeEver)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/68 "2011-11-17T19:03:28Z")
When I was a kid I would inevitably get bored in church so I would day dream that bad guys burst into the sanctuary and take me hostage. Then the guy I happened to be crushing on at the time would save me and realize what a hottie I was. I’d also day dream the baddies got my crush and I would be the one to save him and he would realize how awesomely cool I was. 🙂 (I’d also try and astral project, but I’m not sure if that counts as daydreaming) ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/69 "2011-11-17T19:30:24Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > Agreed. I’m going to start wracking my brain so I have something to respond with. [Marty McFly thread here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=14473925) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jaya1964](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8dc957/32.png) [@jaya1964](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaya1964)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/70 "2011-11-18T03:41:53Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how horrible it would be to die in a submarine accident. Especially since I am not, and never have been, a member of the Navy. Ah, “Das Boot Syndrome”. 🆒 I think that invaded the psyches of an entire generation, myself included, after two hours underwater in a movie theater, watching people drown. ---
**Author:** ![jaya1964](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8dc957/32.png) [@jaya1964](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaya1964)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/71 "2011-11-18T03:45:35Z")
> [@Ace309](#): > > I mentally rewrite Terry Cashman’s “Talkin’ Baseball” to fit whatever situation I happen to be in. > > I also occasionally think about the possibility that I just missed a step on the stairs, slipped and fell and hit my head, or had some other disabling injury, but my brain expected me to continue living and so I’m currently in a coma living out what my brain expected to be happening to me. It’s really better not to think about it. 🙂 Sometimes when I’m driving, I’ll suddenly ponder whether i might have been killed by a train or in a huge accident somewhere about five minutes behind me, but my soul is still to in shock and denial to realize it yet. ALways spooks me a bit, but is so damn silly. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/72 "2011-11-18T04:19:40Z")
Many years ago, when we were hearing a lot about babies abandoned in dumpsters and on roadsides in our area, I used to spend my whole drive to work figuring out exactly what I would do if I found a baby. I had to be at work at 5am, so it was always dark, and I would be thinking, “What if that bundle on the side of the road is actually a baby, and it needs me?” I could wrap it in my coat, keep it warm, etc. After my son was born, I would think about what if the baby I found was starving, I could breastfeed it. Would that be Ok? Should I start keeping extra diapers and maybe formula in the car just in case? ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/73 "2011-11-18T04:32:27Z")
> [@velvetjones](#): > > I also sometimes like to imagine what it would be like to show a time traveler from some previous century how life is like today but it’s always just an ordinary person, not someone famous. I imagine that someone from the 15th century who was particulary religious/superstitious might think that things were magic/possessed by the devil. I also imagine that I’m going to have to coach them in proper 21st century personal hygiene. I do this _all the time._ Anyone treating the mundane, every day aspects of my life with awe is my ultimate ego trip. In fact, whenever we have nursing students on the floor, I’m all over that shit - I want them all to follow me around while I change dressings and start IV piggybacks, and MARVEL at how GOOD I am at my job! I don’t do this every time, but when I hear the song “Hey There Delilah” by the White Tees, I make up alternative lyrics to it as fast as I can until I get stuck and have to change the station. Hey there Delilah, You’re my only call from jail I was jacking off in public Now I need you to make bail Yes I do And could you call my lawyer too? ..i never said i was good at it… ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/74 "2011-11-18T04:45:32Z")
> [@jaya1964](#): > > Sometimes when I’m driving, I’ll suddenly ponder whether i might have been killed by a train or in a huge accident somewhere about five minutes behind me, but my soul is still to in shock and denial to realize it yet. ALways spooks me a bit, but is so damn silly. We’re through the looking glass here, people. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/75 "2011-11-18T10:01:48Z")
I ponder the idea of reincarnation, and find myself waffling between “Pfff, ridiculous!”, and “Well, if my consciousness arose at least once, then who’s to say it wouldn’t happen again?” Because really, why do I find myself in this body, at this time, born in this country, etc. Then I’ll wonder how that’d work. If I had no memory of any past lives, then my you-ness is erased, and I’m just another mortal living their lives, and this is where it gets scary… What if every conscious being is actually me, just reincarnated and shunted from body to body, be it animal, human, or perhaps even… alien. :eek: This would mean I’m you and you’re me at some point, I/we just don’t know it. Also, it means my self-awareness will suffer every fate of every being there is. And the scariest idea of all? One of these lives would be me as Hitler, or worse yet, Ann Coulter. _I’M SO SCARED!!!_ Then I’ll watch some Parks and Rec, and eat some Doritos. ---
**Author:** ![Dirty0ldman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d2c977/32.png) [@Dirty0ldman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty0ldman)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/76 "2011-11-18T13:05:33Z")
Velociraptors are my biggest fear ever since watching Jurassic Park when I was 9yrs old. I daydream about my perfect house, (Batman cave incl.) that would be impenetrable to raptors. The great thing about raptor proofing your house is that zombies cannot get in either. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/77 "2011-11-18T14:37:21Z")
> [@Maiira](#): > > … And if it was some poor urchin, I’d cook a huge meal for them Oh, that used to be on my daydream list, too, when I was a teenager. How I would pamper someone who survived a nazi camp, for instance. Weirdly enough, I never translated that one into reality. There are plenty of immigrant refugees here that could use my pampering, but…I’m an adult now and too busy and you can’t save them all so why even bother start with one, you know? Funny how such daydreams also come and go. Another one of my past daydreams used to be how I would kidnap someone that I thought was badly groomed, and give them a total make-over. That was way way before make-over shows became a staple of tv and magazines. I still like to watch make-over shows, though, but I no longer daydream about doing make-over kidnaps myself. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/78 "2011-11-18T22:08:12Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > This would mean I’m you and you’re me …and we are all together, kookookaju! ---
**Author:** ![LegsAkimbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f1d935/32.png) [@LegsAkimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LegsAkimbo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/79 "2011-11-18T22:35:56Z")
What a fun thread. And how nice to find out I am not the only one thinking some of this stuff. I too “rehearse” what would happen if my husband died, how I would handle it. I then spend a ridiculous amount of time planning how I would get myself and all the pets 500 miles north, where we plan to move in a couple of years and where I would go if he died. I can also spend a massive amount of time, usually at night if I can’t sleep, thinking about if I could go back in time to when I was about 12 or so, a la Peggy Sue Got Married–I’d be the me I am now, but would appear to be the me from then to everyone else. My parents would look so young! I would love to see what those books were in the den, which I never even glanced at back then. And when my younger brother first appeared in the room, I would be on the floor laughing. He is quite handsome now as an adult, but he was simply the goofiest looking kid on the planet. While I would be clueless about school classes, I would not be the least bit intimidated by the Popular Girls, who would be, after all, 12-year-olds. I can follow this train of thought seemingly endlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Acorns.but\_not\_Bacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@Acorns.but\_not\_Bacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acorns.but_not_Bacon)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630/80 "2011-11-18T23:09:37Z")
> [@Dirty0ldman](#): > > Velociraptors are my biggest fear ever since watching Jurassic Park when I was 9yrs old. I daydream about my perfect house, (Batman cave incl.) that would be impenetrable to raptors. > The great thing about raptor proofing your house is that zombies cannot get in either. You know what? I also think about Velociraptors. Of course I know, the Jurassic Park raptors didn’t really exist and were just an amalgamation of two dinosaurs (can’t remember which) and another also important thing, dinosaurs are extinct. But that doesn’t stop me occasionally thinking about what would happen if I were being hunted by a JP Velociraptor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumb-things-you-think-about/602630.md?page=5)