# Dumber than a ... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 3, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278 "2009-02-03T17:36:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/21 "2009-02-03T19:24:29Z")
Dumber than rubber doughnuts. (This was used, I think, in Rolling Stone to describe the music of Kiss.) ---
**Author:** ![schnuckiputzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@schnuckiputzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnuckiputzi)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/22 "2009-02-03T19:27:28Z")
The porch light’s on but nobody’s home. The hamster died, but the wheel’s still spinnin’. ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/23 "2009-02-03T19:27:47Z")
As numb as a pit prop. As thick as pigshit. ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/24 "2009-02-03T19:39:58Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] What do folks where you are compare a dumb person to? [/QUOTE] I usually say “dumber than a sack of hair” or “dumber than a box of rocks” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/25 "2009-02-03T19:40:13Z")
You must be as smart as this fern to read this post. Dumber than a bag of spatulas. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/26 "2009-02-03T19:42:39Z")
Dumber than a football bat ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/27 "2009-02-03T19:42:48Z")
Dumber than a box of frogs. ---
**Author:** ![masterofnone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@masterofnone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/masterofnone)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/28 "2009-02-03T19:43:31Z")
Not the sharpest tool in the shed. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/29 "2009-02-03T19:47:45Z")
Mostly - Dumber than a door knob. Although I’ve heard it for just about any group of people you can think of. Dumber than a (group here). ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/30 "2009-02-03T20:06:41Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Dumber than a football bat I’ve heard that as “Queer as a football bat.” ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/31 "2009-02-03T20:11:09Z")
I use “Dumber than a box of rocks on a sunny day.” For some reason, that “sunny day” always gets me. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/32 "2009-02-03T20:22:22Z")
Dumb as a post. A simple, straightforward classic. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/33 "2009-02-03T20:52:00Z")
“Dumb as a mailbox” but I’ve always really like the visual of “dumb as a box of hair” There really are never enough opportunities to quote Foghorn Leghorn: “I say, I say the boys about as sharp as a bowling ball” ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/34 "2009-02-03T21:04:25Z")
I also go for “dumber than a box of rocks” but I then add “sedimentary rocks, because igneous rocks are too sharp.” ---
**Author:** ![slitterst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@slitterst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slitterst)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/35 "2009-02-03T21:24:34Z")
Courtesy of the Animaniacs, I prefer “Dumber than advertised.” ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/36 "2009-02-03T21:36:43Z")
Dumber than a box of dead clams. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/37 "2009-02-03T21:54:05Z")
dumber than… … a land war in Asia? ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/38 "2009-02-03T22:30:24Z")
“Stupid as a fried popsicle” always makes me laugh… ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/39 "2009-02-03T22:33:52Z")
As dumb as a chocolate fire-guard. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/40 "2009-02-03T22:45:34Z")
Depends on the audience. Dumber than… a bag of hammers. a freeper poster. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278.md?page=3)