# Dumber than a ... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 3, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278 "2009-02-03T17:36:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/101 "2009-02-07T03:47:32Z")
Related: “He fell out of the [Dumb/Stupid/Ugly] Tree and hit every branch on the way down.” ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/102 "2009-02-07T06:04:45Z")
said by an elementary school teacher on the coast of North Carolina: “Dumb as a conch.” ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/103 "2009-02-08T04:35:52Z")
Something I used to say about one of my cats: “She’s a wonderful kitty, but if she were any dumber we’d have to water her twice a week”. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/104 "2009-02-09T21:24:01Z")
Here are some of my favorites: [ul] [li]He’s got an interminable case of the stupids.[/li][li]His hard drive has a few bad sectors.[/li][li]He couldn’t count to two without having to start over for losing count halfway.[/li][li]He’s as bright as a two-watt lightbulb painted black.[/li][li]He’s brimming with all the intelligence of a damp sponge.[/li][li]It takes practice to get that stupid.[/li][li]He has a styofoam brain.[/li][li]He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed on the heel.[/li][li]He’d be out of his depth in a puddle.[/li][li]he’s as dense as a black hole.[/li][li]His shoe size exceeds his I.Q.[/li][li]If brains were money and battleships cost a nickel he couldn’t make a down payment on a canoe.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/105 "2009-02-11T22:59:29Z")
104 posts and no mention of: > [@](#): > > Eats stupid food for breakfast 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/106 "2009-02-12T03:28:16Z")
My primary school teacher: “You’ve not got sense you were born with”. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/107 "2009-03-14T00:57:17Z")
> [@lynxie](#): > > Needs to be hit with a clue-by-four. Nah, **Cyn** has the best one for that. Couldn’t get a clue covered in clue musk, doing the clue mating dance in a feild full of horny clues during clue mating season. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/108 "2009-03-14T02:03:31Z")
Here in France, we usually say “con comme la lune” (dumb as the Moon) ou “con comme une poutre” (dumb as a wooden beam). An old-fashioned one is “bête comme ses pieds” (as smart as his feet), and my grandma is partial to “bête à manger du foin” (so dumb he might as well eat hay). ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/109 "2009-03-14T22:32:54Z")
When he was a Boy Scout, he helped old chickens cross the road. Didya ever see him with his legs crossed? He has instructions written on the heels of his boots. Two! … Dumber than two boxes of rocks! He’s not even the brightest bulb in the tulip bed. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/110 "2009-03-14T22:48:30Z")
He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a barn-seeking missile. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278/111 "2009-03-14T22:51:29Z")
Always liked this classic from _Red Dwarf:_ “He’s a few good men short of a posse.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumber-than-a/484278.md?page=5)