# Dumbest. Contest. Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 14, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511 "2003-07-14T23:44:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![macabresoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@macabresoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/macabresoul)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/1 "2003-07-14T23:44:50Z")
I give you, Aquafina: [Aquafina contest!](http://www.aquafinapureluck.com/spottergame/index.html) > [@](#): > > We will spot Aquafina drinkers from the ground and from the air. With the Aquafina Blimps, our spotters will be able to find Aquafina drinkers anywhere! Holy balls of flaming horseshit… Is this some kind of realty show contest gone wrong? How stupid do they think the average person is? (ok dumb question we are pretty stupid on average, but thats not the point…) If you look on thier site, it shows 50 people have been spotted from the western half of the US already. NOT just California mind you, a good 5 states. Why am I telling you this? well, because you have a better chance of winning the mother fucking lottery ( California lottery that is - 1:14,000,000) then being the 1 person out of 100 million other oxygen wasting organisms spotted with a water bottle sticking out your pie hole. I quote Adam Sandler in an SNL sketch titled stand up and win: “Who are the add wizards who came up with this one?” Seriously, why would you waste an ungodly amount of money giving away money to unsuspecting thirsty people that HAPPEN to be walking down the street. How does this give you any fuckin’ publicity at all? And no, I can guarantee with my utmost psychic ability, there is no one is following around blimps waving water bottles in the air. Here’s an idea, take your marketing guru, drop him off at a deserted island with nothing but a pen, a piece of paper, a bottle of aqufina, a volleyball, and a loin cloth. Then tell that imbred schizomaniac to STOP WASTING OUR FUCKIN’ TIME thank you, class dismissed ---
**Author:** ![beegirl13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@beegirl13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beegirl13)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/2 "2003-07-15T03:40:52Z")
Not to mention that it doesn’t neccessarily help them sell any more water. People could just as easily buy one bottle of Aquafina and keep refilling it with tap water if they really cared about winning the contest. ---
**Author:** ![Mercury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@Mercury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercury)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/3 "2003-07-15T10:26:12Z")
I thought of the same thing, **beegirl**! Guess we are dirty, rotten cheaters, huh? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/4 "2003-07-15T12:17:43Z")
And yet, strangely, there is now a thread about it that can be seen worldwide. This thread is proof of the effectiveness of advertising. You’re doing the work for them right now. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/5 "2003-07-15T12:31:41Z")
Maybe they have some kind of kit to test the ph level of the water in the blimps? 😃 Agreed - dumbest contest ever. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/6 "2003-07-15T12:37:43Z")
It gets weirder. I know that contests like this need to have some way to win where “no purchase is necessary”. So I went to the official rules to see how they managed it in this particulat case. Seems you don’t actually have to be holding an Aquafina. You could also be holding: > [@](#): > > a card or paper no smaller than 3” by 5” with the word AQUAFINA clearly printed. Riiiiiiiiight. Like I’m gonna do that. ---
**Author:** ![Tarantula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e274bd/32.png) [@Tarantula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarantula)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/7 "2003-07-15T12:39:22Z")
They work on the principle that “Any publicity is good publicity” That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Tarantula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e274bd/32.png) [@Tarantula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarantula)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/8 "2003-07-15T12:42:03Z")
Oh, and after I read the ad, it sort of screams at you that the prizes will _all_ be in the $2 catagory… ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/9 "2003-07-15T12:52:56Z")
Heh … that explains the Aquafina blimp that I saw from my apartment window last night. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/10 "2003-07-15T13:34:32Z")
Blimps! Oh, the horror! ---
**Author:** ![Qwisp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qwisp/32/397_2.png) [@Qwisp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwisp)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/11 "2003-07-15T14:38:46Z")
Hey, that blimp is parked at the Joliet Airport a mile or two away from my house.We see them flying over every so often.I guess it’s time to go buy some Aquafina and keep it with me when I’m outside 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![macabresoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@macabresoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/macabresoul)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/12 "2003-07-15T16:10:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Airman Doors, USAF \* > \*\*And yet, strangely, there is now a thread about it that can be seen worldwide. > > This thread is proof of the effectiveness of advertising. You’re doing the work for them right now. \*\* By pointing out how dumb thier advertising is? uh huh… In order for advertising to be effective, they need people to BUY thier product… unfortunetly they don’t get royalties everytime thier trademark is mentioned on internet messege boards. Actually I hope this does inspire people to go outside with aquafina bottles… I kinda feel sorry for the advertising agent about to get fired over this disaster. > [@](#): > > a card or paper no smaller than 3” by 5” with the word AQUAFINA clearly printed. 😛 😃 Oh man that is hilarious I didn’t see that. If that ain’t dancing circles around a loophole I don’t know what is. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/13 "2003-07-15T16:26:37Z")
> [@](#): > > STOP WASTING OUR FUCKIN’ TIME Color me puzzled, but exactly **how** does this promotion _waste your fuckin’ time?_ Unless you’re on the ad campaign team, or somethin’, I just don’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/14 "2003-07-15T16:40:18Z")
This is no different from any number of “If we see you, you win” contests, except that they got a blimp. And blimps are cool. A little low-tech, however. Want a contest? Check out what Coors Light did in Canada. They have a contest where you win by buying a special bottle. See, the bottle has a GPS system in it, and when you win they [find you, come to your house and install a satellite system!](http://www.newswire.ca/releases/July2002/03/c2207.html) ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/15 "2003-07-15T16:48:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beegirl13 \* > \*\*Not to mention that it doesn’t neccessarily help them sell any more water. People could just as easily buy one bottle of Aquafina and keep refilling it with tap water if they really cared about winning the contest. \*\* In a lot of cases, that’s what’s in there in the first place. The stuff is locally bottled. My girlfriend recently bought a bottle (for $1.60 :rolleyes: ) in a sandwich shop. The fine print on the back said “Source: Latham Municipal.” ---
**Author:** ![macabresoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@macabresoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/macabresoul)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/16 "2003-07-15T17:30:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \* > \*\*Color me puzzled, but exactly **how** does this promotion _waste your fuckin’ time?_ Unless you’re on the ad campaign team, or somethin’, I just don’t see it. \*\* It’s like pissing in the gene pool… slowing down evolution and all… Or maybe I just coudln’t come up with a witty remark at the end. I was thinking about “WRITE A REAL FUCKING IDEA” but it didn’t seem to fit. And I also thought of just ending that paragraph with an aquafina bottle being strategically inserting into an undisclosed oriface of said advertising agent. ---
**Author:** ![beegirl13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@beegirl13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beegirl13)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-contest-ever/188511/17 "2003-07-16T04:23:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > \*\*In a lot of cases, that’s what’s in there in the first place. The stuff is locally bottled. > > My girlfriend recently bought a bottle (for $1.60 :rolleyes: ) in a sandwich shop. The fine print on the back said “Source: Latham Municipal.” \*\* I just checked my bottle (and I thought $1.29 at the food court was bad!) and this is indeed the case. And it tastes just like my well water here at home. Guess I’ll have to drink Poland Spring if I want the “real” stuff. And yes, \*\* Mercury\*\*, I am a dirty rotten cheater, at least where dumb contests sponsored by companies who bottle municipal water and sell it for outrageous prices are concerned. 🙂