# Dumbest/Most Ineffective Ads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 13, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429 "2007-08-13T14:02:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/121 "2007-08-18T06:44:05Z")
[QUOTE=Kat] Oh, God, yes! No one in the world is going to call it “rich chocolate Ovaltine” even once, much less every time they mention it. Just call it freaking Ovaltine, man! [/QUOTE] Not to mention, unless they’ve done some serious recipe reworking since the 70s (last time I tasted it), the stuff is anything BUT “delicious”. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/122 "2007-08-18T06:51:27Z")
[QUOTE=tbdi] They still run, each stupider and more annoying than the last. I’m beginning to think it’s a contest to see if they can top each other for worst. ad. ever. [/QUOTE] Generally speaking I do agree that those Truth Ads are rather annoying. However, I really enjoy the singing cowboy ad featuring a dude with an artifical voice box singing, “you don’t always die from tobacco”, or something like that. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/123 "2007-08-18T15:02:09Z")
I saw one last night that beat almost every stupid ad I’ve ever seen. A large golem made entirely of people is trudging down the street. As it walks by cafes and sidewalks, more people are attracted to it like magnets. Eventually it makes its way to a bar and says “BEER!” Then one lone voice from the bottom says “Actually, I think I’ll have a Miller Lite.” And the golem dissolves, and all the people end up at the bar, drinking Miller Lite. If this commercial was supposed to show that Miller Lite is not the beer that everyone else drinks, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to show EVERYONE WHO WAS IN THE GIANT GROUP DRINKING MILLER LITE AFTER THE ONE GUY SAID HE WANTED ONE. ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/124 "2007-08-18T16:38:53Z")
That’s great! It reminds me of Steve Martin’s non-conformist oath from \*A Wild and Crazy Guy \* (LP): “Let’s all take the non-comformist oath” “I promise to be different” (echoed by crowd) “I promise to be unique” (echoed by crowd) “I promise not to repeat things other people say” (crowd begins to echo then laughs…) ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/125 "2007-08-18T18:05:34Z")
I like the new Aflac goat. Okay, so he isn’t supposed to represent Aflac but the other guys who don’t do as good a job but I still like him and I think a goat in the office is much more useful than a duck. And the duck sounds like Gilbert Gottfried and there is only so much of him a person can take. I also hate those Ovaltine commercials. I think the product isn’t the only thing that hasn’t changed since the 70’s. I always replace the commercials in my head with Frau Blucher offering Dr. Frankenstein some Ovaltine. The Empire Carpet commercials: Everyone thinks that guy is creepy so why don’t the advertisers realize this? Replacing him with a cartoon doesn’t help, it’s the voice! Gah! No matter how good their flooring deals sound I just do not want creepy carpet man in my home. Even Gilbert Gottfried would be better. ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/126 "2007-08-18T18:42:35Z")
[QUOTE=Pine Fresh Scent] That’s great! It reminds me of Steve Martin’s non-conformist oath from \*A Wild and Crazy Guy \* (LP): “Let’s all take the non-comformist oath” “I promise to be different” (echoed by crowd) “I promise to be unique” (echoed by crowd) “I promise not to repeat things other people say” (crowd begins to echo then laughs…) [/QUOTE] and, lastly… “I promise not to depreciate non-taxable items brought forth from the previous tax year…” (crowd tries to echo but of course just starts laughing) ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/127 "2007-08-18T20:06:05Z")
[QUOTE=HelloKitty] and, lastly… “I promise not to depreciate non-taxable items brought forth from the previous tax year…” (crowd tries to echo but of course just starts laughing) [/QUOTE] Steve to crowd: “GOOD!” ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2007, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/128 "2007-08-19T01:08:13Z")
[QUOTE=bigdfrombigd] Those “E.D.” commercials with all the horny couples being prevented from porking because of all their interruptions…What is up with the couples ending up in their own bathtubs holding hands!!! WTF! 😕 Can someone please explain this to me? [/QUOTE] Beats me. I’m still trying to figure out how they got the fucking bathtubs on top of the mountain in the first place! Unless the Cialis allowed him to tow them up there with his…never mind. Who has seen the new All-Bran ads with the construction worker? As far as imagery goes, it beats the guy throwing the football through the tire all to hell! This guy walks through the site talking about how the All-Bran helps with his “regularity” problem…and the whole time there are shots in the background of girders being pushed through holes, barrels falling off a platform, and for the finale, a dumptruck dumping a load of bricks! Words cannot adequately describe the :eek: reaction from watching it! ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2007, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/129 "2007-08-19T01:49:48Z")
That hot dog commercial with the arm that protrudes from the guy’s stomach and grabs the food. “Hunger get what hunger want!” grunts the voiceover. It’s disgusting and elicits no desire for hot dogs whatsoever. In fact, it _should_ be marketed as a diet aid, because it really kills my appetite! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2007, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/130 "2007-08-19T02:26:19Z")
I just saw the Viagra Jam commercial. They’re a bunch of regular dudes who love to grab their instruments, head out to the barn and sing a rockin’ tune about erectile dysfunction. I guess I should feel fortunate that the commercial ended when it did. God knows what other horrendous songs they have in their repertoire. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2007, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/131 "2007-08-19T03:52:54Z")
[QUOTE=Snooooopy] I just saw the Viagra Jam commercial. They’re a bunch of regular dudes who love to grab their instruments, head out to the barn and sing a rockin’ tune about erectile dysfunction. I guess I should feel fortunate that the commercial ended when it did. God knows what other horrendous songs they have in their repertoire. [/QUOTE] _"Havin’ my baby…_" It’s the most logical possibility. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2007, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429/132 "2007-08-19T22:57:44Z")
Yeah, the Viva Viagra commercial. I don’t know if it was timed specifically to coincide with the 30th anniversary of Elvis’ death, but all I can think of when hearin’ it is the (Viva) Las Vegas era fat pill-poppin’ King, zombified, lurching back from the grave, with a gianormous stiffy stretching out his crusty jumpsuit. No thanks, Honey. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-most-ineffective-ads/415429.md?page=6)