# Dumbest song lyrics in recent memory? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 29, 2008, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017 "2008-10-29T00:44:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/61 "2008-11-01T21:53:04Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > “I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name.” > > … name the fucking horse! > > - Courtesy of Richard Jeni, deceased. On the same note, > [@](#): > > The desert is an ocean with its life underground. No, it isn’t. Not nearly as much water in the one case, and no underground in the other. > [@](#): > > The heat was hot. OK, making up for being wrong by being obvious. Not a good trend. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/62 "2008-11-01T22:20:43Z")
> [@](#): > > The desert is an ocean with its life underground. I think you’ve got it backwards. It’s > [@](#): > > The ocean is a desert with its life underground. …which makes slightly more sense. Cite: 2:37 in [this clip](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDL02th72u4). ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/63 "2008-11-02T01:30:34Z")
The answer is “\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_,” by Fergie, to wit: London Bridge Fergalicious Glamorous My Humps (w/Black Eyed Peas) I can’t think of an artist who single-handedly dumbed down the Top 40 more in a shorter period of time than Fergie in 2005-2006. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/64 "2008-11-02T02:26:48Z")
If Spanish is allowed, then “Mariposa Technicolor” by Fito Páez. Just phrases with only the s lightest connection among them. Yo te conozco de antes (I know you from before) desde antes del ayer (before yesterday) yo te conozco de antes (I know you from before) cuando me fui (when I left) no me alejé (I didn’t get away) llevo la voz cantante (I’m the lead voice) llevo la luz del ayer (I carry yesterday’s light) llevo un destino errante (I have a wandering destination) llevo tus marcas en mi piel (I have your marks on my skin) y hoy solo te vuelvo a ver (and today I only get to see you) ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/65 "2008-11-02T08:13:09Z")
I’m surprised no one’s brought this one up: Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids In fact it’s cold as hell And there’s no one there to raise them If you did WTF _are_ you talking about, Bernie? ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/66 "2008-11-02T11:55:15Z")
My nomination here goes to [Honky Tonk Badonkadonk](http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=d3dHxAYYXhc) by Trace Adkins. I hasten to add that I only learned about this song from the webcomic Questionable Content, and he describes it as [“one of the most excruciatingly bad songs of all time”](http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1234), and I’m not inclined to disagree. Keepin’ perfect rhythm Make ya wanna swing along Got it goin’ on Like Donkey Kong Like Donkey Kong? What the hell is that meant to mean? And then a bit later, there’s this gem: And whoo-wee Shut my mouth, slap your grandma There outta be a law Get the Sheriff on the phone Lord have mercy, how’s she even get them britches on That honky tonk badonkadonk Lovely. Then, of course, there’s always Gunther to bring a little intellectual lyricism to the party: oh, you touch my tralala, mm my ding ding dong. la lalala lalala… Oh, you touch my tralala la lalala lalala… mm, my ding ding dong. la lalala lalala… And, from another song: It is a hot day Put on my flip flop Go to Playa de Sol, my feelings tip topped Give me some lotion To get emotion Senorita sex on the beach There’s more, but I think I’ll spare you the rest of it. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/67 "2008-11-02T12:08:33Z")
Yeah, **Dervorin** those are pretty bad, but I do like the line: \*We hate to see her go but we love to watch her leave. \* ---
**Author:** ![Bacon\_Salt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/65b543/32.png) [@Bacon\_Salt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bacon_Salt)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/68 "2008-11-02T22:41:56Z")
Come, now. _Summer girls_ is always in everyone’s recent memory of really dumb lyrics. In fact, I think it reaches past dumb and achieves a certain surrealist brillance as I’ve not been convinced that it’s not a Dadaist cut up. I mean, most of the lines don’t actually rhyme. We weren’t supposed to skip songs in our Official CD Of Approved Music when I worked retail, but we were allowed to skip this godawful beast of a song because the lyrics made everyone stabby: _standard lyrics about being really famous, no, really because she has her own Wikipedia page and the most desired jailbait alive_ “'Cause I’m a celebrity, go 'head and google me.” “You ain’t nobody.”(Google me, baby.) “You better ask somebody.” (You better Google me, baby.) _more lyrics about being internet famous and general obliviousness to the fact that being internet famous is usually Not A Good Thing_ So, I did. Her name is Teyana Taylor. Needless to say, she’s not all that famous. I think she was on an episode of _My Sweet 16_. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/69 "2008-11-03T05:06:51Z")
If someone can explain these lyrics, maybe I’ll cut them some slack, but I’ve always liked the Counting Crows, and one of my favorite songs is “Holiday in Spain”, but I’ll be damned if I know what: “Hop on my choo-choo I’ll be your engine driver in a bunny suit, If you dress me up in pink and white, we may be just a little fuzzy about it later tonight.” Uh, what? Sexual innuendo aside, beyond the first line I am lost. What’s a bunny suit? why pink and white? Is this drug or sex references that I don’t get? The rest of the song is fine, but this kind of ruins it for me. and of course, the original stupid song (but I still love it) Man-um-a-num -bup-bee-dee-bee-dee Man-um-a-num bup-bee-dee-bee Man-um-a-num bup-bee-dee-bee-dee, da-dee-dee, da-dee-dee, da-dee-dee, dub-a dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. ---
**Author:** ![phil417](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@phil417](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phil417)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/70 "2008-11-03T06:47:05Z")
Thank you, thank you, **longhair 75** for opening up older songs to this thread. My personal favorite is Ray Stevens’ _Jeremiah Peabody’s Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolving Fasting Pleasant Grean & Purple Pills_: Do you have that rundown feelin’, does your head go reelin’? Are you nervous, jumpy or on the edge? Is it neuritis, neuralgia, a head cold or stress? Or maybe its your sinus drainage. Do you have high blood, Berry-Berry? Or maybe you’re a little overweight? You better make some correction in all this infection, Just send in one dollar ninety eight. Get ridda that runny nose, that nagging cough, that sneeze, achoo, That wheeze and other injuries. Take the wonder drug that cures all your ills, Take Jeremiah Peabodys polyunsaturated, quick dissolving, fast acting, Pleasant tasting green and purple pills. Oh yeah! Well, it won’t upset your stomach, Its good for arthiritis, It sooths all your aches and pains. Get ridda those hammers in your head, Don’t be a hyprakrondriac , Start feelin’ better again. Clear up that fungus or mongus; Its good for every ailment, including water on the knee. And its guaranteed to be just what you need For quick, fast, easy relief. Get ridda that runny nose, that nagging cough, that sneeze, that wheeze And other injuries. Take the wonder drug that cures all your ills, Take Jeremiah Peabodys polyunsaturated, quick dissolving, fast acting, Pleasant tasting, green and purple pills. Oh, yeah! Little green and purple pills, oh, yeah, little green and Purple pills… [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAhRWoV5JJI](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAhRWoV5JJI) Love, Phil ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/71 "2008-11-03T07:20:19Z")
Props to Mr. Diamond: _Song she sang to me/Song she brang to me_ and… _I am, I said/to no one there/And no one heard at all, not even the chair_ ---
**Author:** ![Stealth\_Potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Stealth\_Potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stealth_Potato)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/72 "2008-11-03T07:55:45Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Props to Mr. Diamond: > > _Song she sang to me/Song she brang to me_ > > and… > > _I am, I said/to no one there/And no one heard at all, not even the chair_ Well hey, at least it’s better than ending that line with _so I ate a pear_, or _like Smokey the Bear_. I won’t defend him for the _brang_ thing though. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/73 "2008-11-03T19:17:56Z")
Songs with surreal lyrics that tend to evoke a feeling are NOT dumb, even if on their face they make no sense. That said, little in this thread can hold a candle to: Womanizer, womanizer, you’re a womanizer baby, womanizer womanizer womanizer womanizer, doot do do do, doot do do do, womanizer womanizer womanizer **womanizer!** ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/74 "2008-11-03T19:47:35Z")
From a lot of playing of Elite Beat Agents, I’ve heard La La by Ashlee Simpson a lot… ‘You make me wanna la la!’ is not the most :smack: lyric in the song. That goes to the second verse: ‘You can meet me on an air plane, Or on the back of a bus. You can throw me like a boomerang, I’ll come back and beat you up.’ It also happens to be my favourite lyric in the song, next to the ‘alley cat’ line. It…works, somehow. But, still… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/75 "2008-11-03T20:42:16Z")
What no love for Train? “Ain’t no love, deep fried chicken. Best friend always stickin Up for you even when I know you’re wrong.” Wow, that’s some goddamned rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017/76 "2008-11-03T20:55:44Z")
A couple others, actually… Also on the topic of WTF lyrics in EBA songs…Good Charlotte, The Anthem…not bad, on the whole, but the incredibly random inclusion of the following passage made me choke the first time I noticed it: ‘Shake it once, that’s fine, Shake it twice, that’s OK, Shake it three times, you’re playing with yourself (again)!’ One from the brilliant green - in a way, it’s not fair, since they’re Japanese and the English in Japanese songs tends to be a little odd, but Tommy’s lyrics are usually more sensible English… From Love Baby: ‘The love you give me, Is so bleachy and clean’ It makes SENSE (love is pure, so on and so forth), but it’s just odd and…itch-inducing, that she’d use bleach in the analogy… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-song-lyrics-in-recent-memory/470017.md?page=3)