# dumbest thing in a serious movie that PO ed you **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 28, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700 "2001-11-28T14:33:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/41 "2001-11-30T03:49:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > **When Cary finally finds out Deb is crippled and she sees one of his paintings, she gushes, "Oh darling—if you can paint, I can walk!"** I have long considered this to be one of the most hilarious lines in cinema history. Not just because his paintings are _awful_, but because it’s just such a ridiculous thing to say. I also laugh when Deb gets hit by the car. Bwahahahahah. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/42 "2001-11-30T04:26:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jab1 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Johnny Angel \* > > \*\ ***Ethilrist** wrote: > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > “Fast? You kidding? She can do the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs!” > > > > I don’t have a copy of the film to review, but I do recall that Ben and Luke looked at eachother at this point, clearly indicating that they knew Han was full of shit. That’s how I always interpreted it, as a joke for the nerds in the audience. \*\* > > I agree with you. It implies that Chewbacca is really the brains of their little operation; Solo is the PR guy or the salesman. Chewie obviously has difficulties speaking whatever language is standard in their galaxy, so Han handles the negotiations with Standard-speakers like Ben and Luke. And since Ben could evidently speak Wookie (he spoke with Chewie first), it’s unlikely that Luke could, being an insulated farm boy. So, the conversation was in Standard with Solo doing all the talking and he made a goof. \*\* Chewbacca can understand and speak the standard language, but he doesn’t like to speak it because his vocal equipment gives him some kind of serious speech impediment. That’s the explanation I read somewhere or another…makes sense, I have a friend who can speak Spanish but doesn’t because she can’t roll her Rs, which is a fairly noticeable speech impediment in Spanish. ---
**Author:** ![ejrn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a6a055/32.png) [@ejrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ejrn)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/43 "2001-11-30T09:11:24Z")
Did anybody else out there see **Shakedown**? The whole movie was filled with dumb stunts. For instance, one guy shoots and kills 3 cops in a police station, no less, and then casually strolls out. No cop comes to investigate the gunshots and nobody tries to stop him from walking out. Then there’s the finale where our hero chases a jet (he’s on foot) down the runway and manages to grab hold of a wing as it is taking off with the bad guys. So, there he is, hanging off the wing as the jet climbs over New York harbor. What will he do now (we wondered)? Well, he just took a grenade out of his pocket and lobbed it into the engine. Gee, won’t he die when the plane blows up? Not in this movie. Oh no, he just drops harmlessly about 1,500 feet down into the harbor. Next scene has him swimming ashore at LaGuardia Airport to reunite with his buddy. And he’s not even out of breath after this ten mile swim. My husband and I were rolling in the aisle by the end of this flick. Didn’t anybody watch this movie before they released it? A couple of years later, a coworker of ours said he had rented a video the night before and couldn’t decide if it was a really good movie or a really bad one. You guessed it… **Shakedown**. His comment was a perfect description for this movie experience. I highly recommend you rent this video and view it with your most sarcastic friends. A good time will be had by all. ---
**Author:** ![deball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@deball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deball)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/44 "2001-11-30T15:09:57Z")
Godfather III. I had serious problems with Mike accepting Vincent to be his side kick, partner and protege out of nowhere. Especially when Mike is trying to distance himself from the violence of the Mafia and become completely legit. In the trilogy Mike is the guy who is level-headed and doesn’t rush into bonehead plays. Why he would grab a guy, who is a typical hood, and make him a Don in a month is the hook I didn’t bite at the film’s beginning. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/45 "2001-11-30T20:41:22Z")
I was pleasantly surprised to find this video on the public library’s shelves. I’m a big Fritz Lang fan and have a tremendous respect for him as a film maker. I got the video home, popped in the VCR and sat down eagerly expecting a cinematic treat. Edward G. Robinson, playing a shy, quiet man, gets romantically involved with an exciting but mysterious woman. Before he knows it, he is drawn into intrigue and is running from the police, accused of a murder he did not commit. He flees to his paramour’s home, sits in an overstuffed chair, nods off to sleep and … and… HE WAKES UP AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was so pissed off I threw a can of diet Coke at the TV before I realized what I was doing. (Fortunately it was almost empty.) This particular dumb stunt got to me because, as I said, I have a great respect for Fritz Lang as a director. If he’d never made anything but _Metropolis_ and _M_ he would still be one of the most important directors in film history. For someone of his brilliance to have pulled a cheap trick like that – ! Sometimes I can get royally pissed just thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/46 "2001-11-30T20:46:41Z")
I was pleasantly surprised to find this video on the public library’s shelves. I’m a big Fritz Lang fan and have a tremendous respect for him as a film maker. I got the video home, popped in the VCR and sat down eagerly expecting a cinematic treat. Edward G. Robinson, playing a shy, quiet man, gets romantically involved with an exciting but mysterious woman. Before he knows it, he is drawn into intrigue and is running from the police, accused of a murder he did not commit. He flees to his paramour’s home, sits in an overstuffed chair, nods off to sleep and … and… HE WAKES UP AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was so pissed off I threw a can of diet Coke at the TV before I realized what I was doing. (Fortunately it was almost empty.) This particular dumb stunt got to me because, as I said, I have a great respect for Fritz Lang as a director. If he’d never made anything but _Metropolis_ and _M_ he would still be one of the most important directors in film history. For someone of his brilliance to have pulled a cheap trick like that – ! Sometimes I can get royally pissed just thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![Moon-Watcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/49beb7/32.png) [@Moon-Watcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moon-Watcher)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/47 "2001-11-30T21:11:21Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sturmhauke \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > I would like to agree with you guys, really. But like I said, according to the RPG distances somehow change in the Kessel region on a regular basis. They _should_ have explained it as Han Solo being stupid, but there you go. \*\* > > One of the novels (I forget which) gave a little detail about Kessel, and it’s a system surrounded by massive black holes. Different routes take different distances, but the shorter ones require more speed because they go closer to the black holes. > > Or something. \*\* Thank you. As for me, in the _The Mummy_ (the new version, and yes, I know…), the opening shot is the Pyramids, followed by a pan to the temple of Karnak and a narrator: “Thebes, city of the living.” THE PYRAMIDS AREN’T IN THEBES! ---
**Author:** ![Qwertyasdfg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ecc23a/32.png) [@Qwertyasdfg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwertyasdfg)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/48 "2001-11-30T21:22:39Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by FriendRob \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > \*\*Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? And a chair could be a creampuff, and a door could be a camel… wait… I’m starting to see it… the whole movie encodes the Meaning of Life, you just have to replace each word by its True Meaning in Other-Galaxy-Speak… yes… and the answer is… > [superfluous spaces deleted for compactness] > > 42 \*\* I’ve seen dozens of allusions, on this board and elsewhere, to the meaning of life being “42.” I know that this is a joke but where does it come from? ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/49 "2001-11-30T21:22:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ian Fan \* > \*\*In _Contact_, Jodie Foster tried to explain the events that happened by using relativity, thus saying that her short journey plus one day stay at another planet was only an extremely small fraction of a second on Earth. However, it works the other way around – short time spent at FTL speeds equals a LONG time on Earth. \*\* Ok - I know in the book multiple people (8?) made the trip - therefore it was (less) likely to be a trick/hallucination; but I REALLY wish the movie would have left it up to the viewers to decide what happened, instead of referring to the hours of of empty (video? audio) tape. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/50 "2001-11-30T21:50:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qwertyasdfg \* > I’ve seen dozens of allusions, on this board and elsewhere, to the meaning of life being “42.” I know that this is a joke but where does it come from? \*\* The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/51 "2001-11-30T21:53:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by deball \* > \*\*Godfather III. I had serious problems with Mike accepting Vincent to be his side kick, partner and protege out of nowhere. Especially when Mike is trying to distance himself from the violence of the Mafia and become completely legit. In the trilogy Mike is the guy who is level-headed and doesn’t rush into bonehead plays. Why he would grab a guy, who is a typical hood, and make him a Don in a month is the hook I didn’t bite at the film’s beginning. \*\* I disagree. I think in III Michael finally committed to going legit, but, as such, he needed to connect with somebody to run the old family – he wasn’t going to let it devolve into chaos, and he sure wasn’t going to let that prick Joey Zasa turn the old neighborhood into a haven for junkies. And anyway, I don’t think Michael is particularly level-headed, he’s just calculating. But he’s often done imprudent things to people who he sees as harming his family, even poor dumb Freido. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/52 "2001-11-30T22:19:58Z")
There are probably so many things we could mention here, but the one that I’m thinking of now is the episode _Court Martial_, where the big guy was on trial for culpable negligence in the death of a subordinate. At one point, to prove that the supposedly dead officer is actually still alive and aboard, they use a sound amplification device that amplifies the sound of everyone’s heartbeat to the level of…1 to the 4th power! Hey, I sucked at math big time, but even I know that’s exactly equal to one! ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/53 "2001-11-30T22:43:52Z")
Here’s one: the premise behind the movie _Double Jeopardy._ A woman is found guilty of murdering her husband. She is eventually paroled and finds out that her husband was not killed at all and, in fact, had framed her for the crime. So she goes after him under the looney belief that if she kills him, it isn’t murder because it would be the same crime she was convicted of earlier. _WRONG!!!_ That’s NOT what “double jeopardy” means. It means that she cannot be tried again for the ORIGINAL attempt. If she kills her husband THIS time, it’s a brand-new crime and she most certainly CAN be tried and convicted of it. The presmise was so stupid, I never even saw the damned movie. What a waste of talented actors (Tommy Lee Jones and Ashley Judd). ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/54 "2001-11-30T22:50:51Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by jab1 \* \*\*It means that she cannot be tried again for the ORIGINAL attempt.\*\*Whoops! She CAN be tried again if new evidence turns up that can show she was actually innocent. (The fact that her husband is still alive would certainly qualify!) ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/55 "2001-12-01T03:15:18Z")
[QUOTE] \*\ ***Ethilrist** wrote: > [@](#): > > “Fast? You kidding? She can do the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs!” I’ve played the games, read the books, and a parsec _is_ a measure of distance. The Kessel run is littered with black holes that threaten to pull you out of hyperspace and kill you. The faster one’s ship is, the closer you can get to the holes without being pulled in. Going straight through would obviously get you killed in anything but the fastest ship, so the shorter the distance, the faster your ship has to be to make it through and leave the authorities in your spacedust. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/56 "2001-12-01T03:20:08Z")
Oh, and Han can speak Wookie, but it sounds really dumb, so he lets Chewbacca speak it for him. And Wookies are physically incapable of speaking Standard, their vocal chords don’t allow it. ---
**Author:** ![KrustyKlown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b4bc9f/32.png) [@KrustyKlown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KrustyKlown)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/57 "2001-12-01T07:17:58Z")
Oh, there are so many… Air Force One, when that plane “took a bullet” for Air Force One, I just about walked out of the theater, staying only because I knew the TRUE end was near. Man, those were terrible effects and a preposterous scene. Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes. Need I say more? The last hour (and last two endings) of A.I. ---
**Author:** ![Zuckuss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a9a28c/32.png) [@Zuckuss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zuckuss)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/58 "2001-12-01T09:12:19Z")
Gee, how about the last 20 minutes of _The Contender_? This bullshit was more pedantic than _Romper Room_. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/59 "2001-12-01T12:35:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zanshin \* > \*\*For me, it had to be the ending of Kevin Smith’s **Chasing Amy**. For the most part, I loved the movie! Kevin Smith’s trademark snappy dialogue, great treatment of a man dealing with his partner’s change in sexuality, loved the acting… overall, what a great movie! > > **SPOILER** > But Holden’s decision about ‘all three of us have to sleep together to make things right’… that just made no sense whatsoever! The first time I saw **Chasing Amy** , that scene made me yelp, “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” (Which was probably not appreciated by the people sitting near me in the theater, but I digress.) > > Maybe it was supposed to be a sign of Holden’s deterioration, that he thought such a wild scheme would be a good idea. But even taking that into account, I still can’t imagine anyone ever reaching that particular conclusion. I know Kevin Smith needed a reason for Holden and Alyssa to break up, but come on, he could have come up with something better than that. Sheesh. \*\* I liked the ending. It was about his insecurities with her sexual experience/his lack of, and I would say his insecurities about not being a part of a single sex that gives him a place in life. I think a lot of men struggle with that, now that women do pretty much everything men do, and yet have the extra role of creating, carrying, nurturing children. Men just sport around sperm, and in a way, are not needed to continue the human race when cloning and all that shit come about. (right?) So if this man can’t be a part of specific gender that she finds attractive/loveing, he has really not a whole lot of identity. He is who he is, but I’m sure it’s important to be a part of something in general. I myself am a mutt, so St. Patrick’s Day has no special meaning, nor does black history month. I know there’s only one “me” but I think people also need to be a part of something. Him sleeping with a man as well would even things out, it would give him experience and show her that men can be seen as “attractive” too by other men. I know this sounds silly, but it may, sort of, make him feel… sexy? AS A MAN. Men are not usually considered THE symbol of sex of the two. OK, bring on the criticism! I can take it! I know that this might very well be an unlikely idea of the movie that’s way over analyzed and made up. However when Kevin Smith was promoting the film, he DID mention some of these things. I am also learning about this SAME EXACT THING in Sociology. The SAME THING, in fact, I just had to work on a group paper containing the same things I mentioned. DAMN IT, DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME!! DAMN IT, I know you will too. Well, JUST THINK ABOUT IT!! Scott =) ---
**Author:** ![Diff\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@Diff\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diff_T)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700/60 "2001-12-01T12:46:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MyFootsZZZ \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Zanshin \* > > \*\*For me, it had to be the ending of Kevin Smith’s **Chasing Amy**. For the most part, I loved the movie! Kevin Smith’s trademark snappy dialogue, great treatment of a man dealing with his partner’s change in sexuality, loved the acting… overall, what a great movie! > > > > **SPOILER** > > But Holden’s decision about ‘all three of us have to sleep together to make things right’… that just made no sense whatsoever! The first time I saw **Chasing Amy** , that scene made me yelp, “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” (Which was probably not appreciated by the people sitting near me in the theater, but I digress.) > > > > Maybe it was supposed to be a sign of Holden’s deterioration, that he thought such a wild scheme would be a good idea. But even taking that into account, I still can’t imagine anyone ever reaching that particular conclusion. I know Kevin Smith needed a reason for Holden and Alyssa to break up, but come on, he could have come up with something better than that. Sheesh. \*\* > > I liked the ending. It was about his insecurities with her sexual experience/his lack of, and I would say his insecurities about not being a part of a single sex that gives him a place in life. I think a lot of men struggle with that, now that women do pretty much everything men do, and yet have the extra role of creating, carrying, nurturing children. Men just sport around sperm, and in a way, are not needed to continue the human race when cloning and all that shit come about. (right?) > > So if this man can’t be a part of specific gender that she finds attractive/loveing, he has really not a whole lot of identity. He is who he is, but I’m sure it’s important to be a part of something in general. I myself am a mutt, so St. Patrick’s Day has no special meaning, nor does black history month. I know there’s only one “me” but I think people also need to be a part of something. > > Him sleeping with a man as well would even things out, it would give him experience and show her that men can be seen as “attractive” too by other men. I know this sounds silly, but it may, sort of, make him feel… sexy? AS A MAN. Men are not usually considered THE symbol of sex of the two. > > OK, bring on the criticism! I can take it! I know that this might very well be an unlikely idea of the movie that’s way over analyzed and made up. However when Kevin Smith was promoting the film, he DID mention some of these things. I am also learning about this SAME EXACT THING in Sociology. The SAME THING, in fact, I just had to work on a group paper containing the same things I mentioned. > > DAMN IT, DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME!! > > DAMN IT, I know you will too. > > Well, JUST THINK ABOUT IT!! > > Scott =) \*\* I actually think you might just have a good point. I know at least 2 men exactly like that. It may not be what Kevin Smith was thinking… but nice theory! I don’t think people will make fun of you. It may be hard for some to understand, that’s all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dumbest-thing-in-a-serious-movie-that-po-ed-you/95700.md?page=4)