# Dune ........The Musical! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 4, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915 "2003-03-04T02:36:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/1 "2003-03-04T02:36:41Z")
(The interior of the Ducal stronghold on Arrakis. The Harkonnens are in possession, having routed House Atreides. Duke Leto has been captured, as have the Lady Jessica and Paul. This is the David Lynch version, and Baron Vladmir Harkonnen, with his case of terminal acne, floats gloating in the Thron Room, attended by the Mentat Piter de Vries and The Beast Rabban. Feyd Rautha, looking a lot like Sting, bursts in.) Feyd: Baron, we have captured Thufir Hawat, he Mentat of House Atreides! Baron: Hawat! Excellent! He is the best Mentat in th Galaxy! House Harkonen is now the only House with _two_ mentats! de Vries: (A bit needled at being called econd best) Actually, my Lord, the plural is “Menata”. Baron: (too triumphant to be needled in turn) “Mentata”, then. (Sings) Harkonennen Mentata What a wonderful phrase! Rabban: Harkonnen Mentata Ain’t no passin’ phase! Baron: It means no worries For the rest of our Days All: It’s our problem-free Technocracy! ``` Harkonnen Mentata! ``` Feyd: Now when he was the Beast Rab-ban… Rabban:(badly) When I was the Beast Raaaaaaa-baaaan! Feyd: (sotto voce) Very nice. Rabban: (eating) Thanks! Feyd: He found his persona lacked a certain appeal He could clear the planet After every meal. Rabban: I know that seem thick-skinned But it hurt that my friends aways stayed Down-winnnnnnnd Feyd: And oh, the shame Rabban: Yes, the shame! Feyd: Wouldn’t mention his name Rabban: My Name! Feyd: And he felt down-hearted Rabban: Down Hearted! Feyd: Every time that he Rabban: Not in front of the Baron! (Beat) Feyd and Rabban: Harkonnen Mentata! What a Wonderful phrase! Harkonnen Mentata! Ain’t no passin’ phase! Baron: (Vaulting over the top on his anti-grav belt to form the apex of a pyramid) It means no worries For he rest of my days. All: It’s our problem-free Philosophy ``` Harkonnen Mentata ``` Piter: You say “Mentats-a” Baron You say “Mentata” Piter: “Mentats-a” Baron" Mentata" All: Harkonnen Mentata!!! (Tableau of them in formation. Fade out.) ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/2 "2003-03-04T02:41:08Z")
😃 _Applauds_ ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/3 "2003-03-04T03:49:07Z")
I reall y liked the part with the song about the stuff. When does the worm sing? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/4 "2003-03-04T04:33:25Z")
> [@](#): > > When does the worm sing? (Tune of Henry Mancini’s “Charade”) Worm: When we made our Melange We were like worms excreting… Ride on my back, ride on my back then we’ll make our Melange… ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/5 "2003-03-04T04:57:54Z")
Me and my Shadout, Hating all the Harkonens, Me and my Shadout, We know a crysknife must be cleansed . . . We know that there’s a trap, But we don’t know where, And when we look, There’s no-one there . . . Just me and my Shadout, Forshadowing with eyes of blue . . . \< instrumental bridge \> We know that there’s a trap, But we don’t know where, And when we look, There’s no-one there . . . Just me and my Shadout, Forshadowing with eyes of blue . . . ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/6 "2003-03-04T05:09:53Z")
I got a worm right here, his name is Paul Revere. And there’s a guy right here, says if the weather’s clear Can do! The guy says the worm can do! ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/7 "2003-03-04T07:16:43Z")
I had a dream about something like this once. Freaky. I’m sure, \*\* If I were a mentat \*\* would fit in there somewhere… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/8 "2003-03-04T08:03:06Z")
Hey kids, shake it loose together The spotlight’s hitting something That’s been known to change the weather We’ll kill House Harkonnen tonight So stick around You’re gonna see a brand-new weapon Solid walls of sound Say, Kwisatz Haderach, have you seen him yet All tricked out by the Bene Gesserit Oh but they’re weird and they’re wonderful Paul Atreides’ really keen He’s got them Fremen troops-- in blue stillsuits You know I read it in a magazine B-b-b-bene– Bene Gesserit ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/9 "2003-03-04T11:53:06Z")
Hee! Keep 'em coming! ---
**Author:** ![Zumpel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/bb73d2/32.png) [@Zumpel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zumpel)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/10 "2003-03-04T12:15:36Z")
…is nothing sacred ? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/11 "2003-03-04T15:30:02Z")
Apparently not, **Zumpel**. 😃 I wish I could come up with this sort of stuff. It’s so very very wrong on so many levels, it’s right in a really twisted, sick way. Keep it up! ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/12 "2003-03-04T15:57:30Z")
The Harkonnen anthem… Handcuffs and collars and things that restrain you. Whips, clubs, and lashes and things that will pain you. Acid and salt and the things that will sting. These are a few of my favorite things… ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/13 "2003-03-04T16:23:01Z")
A friend of mine actually was working on one. With orginal music, not parodies… but these are really funny, too. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/14 "2003-03-04T19:12:41Z")
sigh…the gerbils ate my response…so here it is again… This, of course, is Paul’s show-stopping classic country number… When I was just a baby, My mama told me “Son, You’re the Qwizatz Hadderach, You’ll never need a gun!” But I’m stuck here on Arakkis, And time goes by, you know… And those Fremen keep on fightin, Because the spice must flow… I really wanted to do something with “San Quentin”, but I didn’t get any farther than, “Arakkis, you’ve been living hell to me…” ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/15 "2003-03-05T15:14:49Z")
to the tune of “Superstar” Sung by Aliyah at the end- PAUL MU-AD’DIB OUR FREMEN MAHDI- it’s raining now but how can these things be? PAUL MU-AD’DIB OF ARRAKIS proclaimed Kwizatz Haderach by your Little Sis! ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/16 "2003-03-05T18:41:39Z")
When Paul meets his future wife, whatever her name was, she sings: Hey Mua’Dib you’re so fine you’re so fine you blow my mind Hey Mua’Dib! Mua’Dib! Hey Mua’Dib you’re so fine you’re so fine you blow my mind Hey Mua’Dib! Mua’Dib! Hey Mua’Dib You’ve been in a little fight but that is not wrong his water is your right So I sing this little song I’ll come to you in the night And you can do me, Mua’Dib (echo) (chorus) Oh Mua’dib, what a pity that you are omnipotent Water of life, you’ve imbibed To make the world alive Oh Mua’dib you’re so pretty Can’t you understand It’s guys like you Mua’dib I want to do Mua’dib Do Mua’dib Don’t break my heart Mua’dib. Hey Mua’Dib you’re so fine you’re so fine you blow my mind Hey Mua’Dib! Mua’Dib! Hey Mua’Dib you’re so fine you’re so fine you blow my mind Hey Mua’Dib! Mua’Dib! ad nauseum ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/17 "2003-03-05T20:58:04Z")
Anyone ever notice that Fatboy Slim quotes Dune in his big song(the one where Chris Walken dances in the video)? There’s a line where he says something like, “Walk without a pattern, so you don’t attract the worms”, which is right from the book. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/18 "2003-03-06T00:16:38Z")
I believe the line is: “Walk without rhythm. It won’t attract the worm.” But, yeah, I thought that was cool when I first heard the song too. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/19 "2003-03-06T00:27:12Z")
This really is sick, y’know. Keep it coming! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheWatcherInTheWater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9d8465/32.png) [@TheWatcherInTheWater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheWatcherInTheWater)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915/20 "2003-03-06T01:16:05Z")
To the tune of Roxanne sung by Sting/Feyd Muad’Dib You don’t have to drink the Water of Life Those days are over You don’t have to stab me with your crysknife Muad’Dib You don’t have to wear that still-suit tonight Walk the sands for melange You don’t care if the worms will bite Muad’Dib You don’t have to drink the Water of Life Chani loved you since she knew ya She wouldn’t talk down to ya She has to tell you just how she feels She won’t share you with Irulan I know her mind is full of fear So put away your Fremen gear Told you once I won’t tell you again It’s a bad way Muad’Dib You don’t have to drink the Water of Life Muad’Dib You don’t have to drink the Water of Life [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dune-the-musical/158915.md?page=2)