# Dungeons and Dopers **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [March 11, 2012, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446 "2012-03-11T06:28:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/81 "2012-04-14T12:43:41Z")
New today: how will the party divvy up loot? Will they find a cheap ship to take them to the southern continent of dinosaur-riding-lizardfolk? Will the swashbuckler get jealous over the fact that the corpse-lover is so much more handsome and suave than he is? Tune in… some time later I guess… for the thrilling beginning to the final pre main plot story ark. Dun dun dun! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/82 "2012-04-14T16:58:26Z")
_Critical Message from Finn’s Magic Ring_ That post was short and lame. Lamer than your face. Next time, how about some details Sherlock? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/83 "2012-04-14T18:03:29Z")
You do realize that I’m writing about something that hasn’t happened yet, right? It is somewhat hard to give details about a gaming session that will take place in another few hours. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/84 "2012-04-14T18:18:09Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > You do realize that I’m writing about something that hasn’t happened yet, right? > It is somewhat hard to give details about a gaming session that will take place in another few hours. He’s a FUTURE PSYCHIC! ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/85 "2012-04-15T03:38:40Z")
That went quicker than I thought. Dividing up loot took only about an hour and a half. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/86 "2012-04-15T04:06:56Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > That went quicker than I thought. Dividing up loot took only about an hour and a half. Hey! We ALSO got a name, and a logo. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/87 "2012-04-15T04:45:47Z")
“Hey, necromancer! NECRO-MANCER! Necro necro necro necro mancer! Hey you!” ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/88 "2012-04-15T05:31:46Z")
For once, Jenks isn’t the one saying the stupid stuff. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/89 "2012-04-15T21:34:54Z")
Following the successful completion of Operation: Save the Girl and the collection of the reward for said mission, the party turned to the very important task of splitting the loot. After much arguing, they settled on giving 35% cuts to Phaistos and Vrai, 20% to Khel, and 10% to Jenks. They then split up the magical items they found, the most noteworthy of which was a wand that cast random spells when activated. Calven the Swashbuckler took that one. The party then settled on a name (The Sunset Order) and created a charter, and then registered their company with the government of Schale. Registration provided a few perks, such as being allowed to carry weapons inside cities and being added to a pool of potential candidates for government operations; on the other hand, it meant that if any member was caught doing something illegal, the entire party could be jailed. [Party Coat of Arms](http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/8291/logocv.png) > [@](#): > > Sunset Order Charter > Current Membership: > Vrai (elf) > Kellen (half-human) > Calven (human) > Jenks (human) > Khel (lizardman) > > Distribution: > > 1. The net value of all gold and items are divided on an equal basis to all members who participated in an undertaking. > 2. Items will either be sold or given a cash value, net of costs to identify the items. > 3. If the value of an item or items taken by an individual member exceeds his or her share of the distribution, he or she will be liable to the other members for the excess, either out of previous earnings or as an IOU to each individual member. > 4. 10% of net gold received, including from sale of items, but not from the value of items retained, will be put aside as a fund to raise or resurrect party members. However, if it is determined by a majority of surviving party members that one’s is fully liable for his or her own death, that member will be liable for 50% of the cost of a raise or resurrection. > 5. Potions and scrolls will be distributed to whichever party member can benefit most from the item. In the case of a tie, “rock, paper, scissors” shall be used to determine which member receives the item. If no member can benefit, the sales value will be added to the net amount to be distributed. > 6. As an exception to (5), healing potions and other universal potions/scrolls shall be considered property of the party. > 7. Except where there is an immediate need, and the item can be reasonably determined to not be cursed, all precious metals and portable items will be divided after the team has returned to safe environs. > 8. Any person who chooses to use a magical item that has not been reasonably determined to not be cursed will be personally responsible for the cost of removing any curses arising from the use, and will automatically be considered 50% responsible for the cost of a raise or resurrection should the use result in the death of the user. Alternately, if the use of such item results in the death of another party member, the user of said item will be responsible for 50% of the cost of the raise or resurrection of the deceased member. With the Sunset Order established, the party turned to their next adventure. Over the next few weeks, the party stayed in Karmage. Vrai decided to search for a means of attaining one of his long-term goals, and quickly. Jenks agreed to help him, and together they pored over countless tomes in the library. Together, they discovered three possible avenues to attain Vrai’s goal: 1. To the far, far West, beyond the edge of the known world, lies a mystical land filled with exotic wonders of all types. Few men have ever sailed off the edge of the world and returned, but those who did told tales of unlimited riches, strange beasts, and shamans who live forever. 2. Near the Central Continent lies a much smaller continent. This is the birthplace of humanity, and home to its first great empire, ruled over by a council of immortal mages. But though the councilors were immune to the ravage of time, they weren’t immune to each other; and through their own treachery, they eventually all died off, their empire collapsed, and the Western Continent became nothing more than a wasteland, filled with ravenous beasts. Legend says that deep within the ruins of the ancient Council Hall lies the secret to immortality. 3. Daerom, the Land of Reptiles, lies to the South. This land, ruled by lizardfolk, troglodytes, and yuan-ti, was once also the home of a powerful human Archmage named Oxyman. In his time, he managed to conquer a vast empire on the desert sands of Daerom. It is said that he achieved immortality through the use of powerful magic, which he used to summon Djinns from the Elemental Plane of Air and force them to grant him Wishes. While Oxyman is long gone and his empire crumbled, it is said that the secret to his art still lies within his ancient tower, somewhere in the sands of Daerom. The party took a vote, and it was decided that the best course of action is to head South. The party found a captain to take them down and so they set off. On the way, they found out that the Southern Continent is ruled by a strict authoritarian theocracy (Think North Korea+Iran), and that Softskins (IE, Not Lizards) are considered the lowest of the low. Further, paperwork is key to survival, and even the smallest mistake can get you and your family thrown in the Arena, where you will fight to the death. With this encouraging news, the Order arrived in Daerom. The party set off through the city, looking for an inn. Schelty was disguised as a Gnomish-made construct of some sort. On the way, they witnessed the various abuses that the lizardfolk population did to the Softskins. Finally, they reached a small inn. Calven and Phaistos waited inside while Khel took Jenks’ whip and disguised Jenks and Vrai as slaves. Together, they set off for the town library, where they found a book about ancient mages. Jenks discovered that the wizard’s tower is on the northern shore of Daerom, about halway between the port city and the edge of the continent. Further, they found out that Oxyman was a very powerful Archmage skilled in the use of Force Magic. Meanwhile, Calven went into the bar at the inn he was staying at. It was a pretty grim establishment, with most of its customers being slaves. An attractive human female caught his eye, and he sat down to talk to her. He found out that she was a slave with sorcerous powers, which made her both valuable and dangerous. A local group of Yuan Ti cultists bought her. While Calven contemplated ways to rescue the girl, the other party members returned. Calven asked them if the would help him rescue the girl, to which Vrai responded condescendingly; Calven angrily referred to him as a Necromancer. Unfortunately, a nearby patron heard them. He demanded to know if they knew the whereabouts of Robert the Black, a wanted necromancer with a bounty on his head. After checking the party’s papers, the man left, but Vrai was very mad at Calven, and refused to help him rescue the girl. In fact, he demanded that they leave town that instant and set off for their goal. An argument ensued, until Meeps volunteered to try and get the girl. Meeps went unnoticed by the border inspectors, and so was not registered as a member of the Sunset Order; therefore if he was caught, he would be the only one tossed in the Arena. The party hastily departed, buying pack animals and supplies for the journey ahead, while Meep went into the city alone. * * * The last 45 minutes of the session involved the party arguing over whether they should buy a Trihorn (Triceratops) or a Hunchbacked Walker (Iguanodon) for transportation, with Jenks insisting that he needed a raptor. As Phaistos’ player said, “I don’t remember them spending this much time talking about horses in Lord of the Rings”, and I’d like to apologize to the players. From now on, the price of mounts will include a month’s supply of food. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/90 "2012-04-15T23:47:10Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > with Jenks insisting that he needed a raptor. But alas my idea was quickly shot down. No creating an army of Were-Rat-tors for my own use. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/91 "2012-04-16T06:09:04Z")
The party really, really needs to get away from all that “Wah, wah, I have a mount that requires food and water and can get tired and slow down. Boo hoo!” stuff. Undead mounts for everybody! ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/92 "2012-04-16T16:52:37Z")
I rather enjoyed playing the cruel overseer. Perhaps a bit too much… ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/93 "2012-04-16T16:55:18Z")
Welcome to the dark side. We have minions. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/94 "2012-04-16T17:03:36Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Welcome to the dark side. > We have minions. _Sigh_. Inside every good guy is a bad guy trying to get out. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/95 "2012-04-16T18:18:48Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > Inside every good guy is a bad guy trying to get out. It’s a skeleton. Vrai can help. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/96 "2012-04-16T18:52:56Z")
There’s a spell that animates a skeleton while its still inside. It then claws its way our and proceeds to murder. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/97 "2012-04-16T18:55:28Z")
Cool. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/98 "2012-04-17T18:32:37Z")
I hereby petition to have the spell named Dance in Your Bones. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/99 "2012-04-23T15:04:08Z")
The party finally set out, if not at a run then at least at a quick jog, as they left the city. The party left in such a hurry that they actually forgot to pick up a map and/or a compass. That necessitated a brief stop while Jenks and Khel went back to get a map and Meep entered camp with the runaway slavegirl. The Dremo began telling her about how eeeevil and unlovable many of the party members were, while the slavegirl (Klara) nodded along. She finally began to get the idea when she blasted a bird out of the sky with Magic Missile and Vrai happily Animated the bird, as he needed a new animal familiar. Eventually, the party ran into a [del]random encounter[/del] pack of angry nasty lizards. A taste of temporary lunacy may have been responsible for Vrai charging the leading lizard, thereby letting it jump-thwamp onto Schelty and break her a bit. The party emerged mostly unscathed however, except the slavegirl who was nearly killed (not that Vrai noticed). Hopefully next adventure will see something happening other than bickering and traveling… although we’re most likely going to be getting into dark territory as a Jenis is now interested in Vrai’s _special services._ And Vrai has been pondering what he could do with the revolution that the rest of the Order seems so keen to instigate… ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446/100 "2012-04-24T00:01:24Z")
The reason Finn doesn’t like the bickering is that Vrai is the only one NOT trying to get in Klara’s pants. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dungeons-and-dopers/615446.md?page=6)