# DVD technology can lick my sweaty hirsute ass

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [June 10, 2002, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205 "2002-06-10T06:46:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Kang\_and\_Kodos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8baadc/32.png) [@Kang\_and\_Kodos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kang_and_Kodos)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/1 "2002-06-10T06:46:26Z")

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I’ve bought five DVDs. I’ve rented more than two hundred. Why is it that of all the DVDs I’ve ever bought or rented, only one has ever played perfectly?

I’m not a dumb boy. When I rent DVDs, I spritz them and then wipe them down, but still it seems all past users use the discs as cocktail coasters.

Is there a reason first run DVDs should skip on their first day?

Fuck me.

Give me widescreen movies on video and I won’t care. But that will never happen.

But I’m sick of testing the DVD beta version.

Assholes. Give me the real technology.

Am I alone?

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**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/2 "2002-06-10T06:50:23Z")

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Have you considered the possibility that the problem isn’t the DVD discs, but your DVD player?

I’ve yet to have a problem with any DVD, rented or purchased.

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/3 "2002-06-10T07:36:50Z")

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Heh… all this ranting and raving due to an errant speck of dust on the DVD reader… how amusing.

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/4 "2002-06-10T09:23:07Z")

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Hmm. I have a PS2, and it plays all DVD’s, bought or rented, just fine. I’ve never cleaned off a DVD in my life - I just pop 'em in and hit “play”.

I’d say have your DVD player checked out.

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**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/5 "2002-06-10T09:35:00Z")

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Those who force DVD-drive manufacturers to zone their drives (or give them limited “swaps”) can go and lick the fiery hairy arse of Satan right after he has a double-vindaloo plus severe dysentry with a packet of laxatives to boot.

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**Author:** ![Alereon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alereon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alereon)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/6 "2002-06-10T10:25:51Z")

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**Kang and Kodos** : Buy one of those neat CD/DVD-ROM drive cleaners you can get for $10 at office depot. Whenever I have had a problem reading discs, its come down to dust on the laser lens.

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/7 "2002-06-10T11:54:10Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by istara \*  
> \*\*Those who force DVD-drive manufacturers to zone their drives (or give them limited “swaps”) can go and lick the fiery hairy arse of Satan right after he has a double-vindaloo plus severe dysentry with a packet of laxatives to boot. \*\*

Oooh, good one. Yeah, that’s a fucking SCAM.

I’ll contribute 18 pints of Stella Artois and an insufficiently grilled gyros.

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**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/8 "2002-06-10T12:37:13Z")

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I hope there’s a special place in hell for the bastard that put together the bonus disc for _Harry Potter_. You can’t just watch the friggin’ extras-you gotta play a goddam _game_ to get to the parts. I didn’t get to see half the shit because I’m remote control-impaired.  
Oh yeah, I never clean DVD’s either-just put 'em in my close’n’play.

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**Author:** ![rushtopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e47774/32.png) [@rushtopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rushtopher)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/9 "2002-06-10T13:07:57Z")

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I occasionally have problems with rentals, but never trouble with newly purchased DVD’s.

Allow me to chime in, sounds like you got an issue with your player. Seriously, 204 out of 205 discs fail, and you blame the discs?

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**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/10 "2002-06-10T13:39:53Z")

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Guy at work just told me he downloaded a firmware hack for his Vaio DVD **from** Sony **on Sony’s advice!!!**

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**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/11 "2002-06-10T14:29:57Z")

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The only time I’ve had problems with DVDs, it’s been due to obvious dirt on them. Definitely sounds like you need to clean your player; I agree with the others on this.

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**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/12 "2002-06-10T14:37:49Z")

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The only time I’ve ever had a disk stop playing in my machine was when it actually became delaminated. Even that one played fine until the reader hit the broken section of disk. Every single other disk I have ever played has been perfect, no cleaning, no nothing. Methinks **K&K** has a hardware problem.

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/13 "2002-06-10T18:35:21Z")

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We’re going to find out later that **Kang** ’s problems all went away when he moved his DVD player from off of the subwoofer.

😉

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**Author:** ![Syzygy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Syzygy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syzygy)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/14 "2002-06-10T20:54:44Z")

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Or that he was using acetone to clean the discs. 😉

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**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/15 "2002-06-10T22:41:12Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \*  
> **We’re going to find out later that Kang’s problems all went away when he moved his DVD player from off of the subwoofer.**

Would that be because Kang has one of those new-fangled magneto-DVD drives? Or 'cause the volume is so loud the unit is bouncing on the .1 channel?

🙂

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/16 "2002-06-10T22:51:03Z")

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Sorry, **Cerowyn** , but “bouncing on the .1 channel” sounds a little too much like something Mary Kay LeTourneau would do.

😃

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**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/17 "2002-06-10T23:17:05Z")

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My Dad called me to tell me that he’d been having similar problems with his DVD player. He was shocked that every DVD he rented skipped, had gaps, or got stuck.

Finally he decided to test one of the rented DVDs by playing it on his computer. It played perfectly. He took the (clearly defective) DVD player back and got a replacement. He hasn’t had a problem since.

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**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/18 "2002-06-11T01:27:48Z")

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As with everyone else, the problem ain’t the discs. I own 19 DVDs and have rented tons more, and they all play perfectly. I’ve never had one skip…ever.

Jman

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**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/19 "2002-06-11T08:11:23Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> I hope there’s a special place in hell for the bastard that put together the bonus disc for Harry Potter. You can’t just watch the friggin’ extras-you gotta play a goddam game to get to the parts. I didn’t get to see half the shit because I’m remote control-impaired.

You should check out the extra’s disc on the new SE of Memento. It is the very model of accessibility :).

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**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dvd-technology-can-lick-my-sweaty-hirsute-ass/113205/20 "2002-06-11T17:00:17Z")

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It can’t be the Player after all it is a SORNY!

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