# Dying alone: what safety measures are feasible? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2018, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292 "2018-04-29T03:36:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/61 "2018-05-02T12:00:32Z")
My wife won’t buy a dress without pockets. She’s not up yet to check with, but I’m positive even her wedding dress had pockets. And she wears jeans, they have pockets. I wear jeans exclusively (black jeans if I have to dress up… I get away with those and a black sportcoat to fancy dinners) – my smaller iPhone fits in the outer side of a back pocket. If it starts to hurt, I know I need to lose weight. If it’s a case of “I’m overweight to the point where I can’t wear jeans”, heck, even sweatpants have pockets. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/62 "2018-05-02T12:25:26Z")
Thanks Maastricht. It’s not that I’m looking for something to warn me in time to resuscitate her if she has a major heart attack or something. She’s a frail old lady, and we all die eventually. My great aunt had lung cancer, and a secondary tumor in her hip led to her falling and not being able to reach the phone. She lay there, alive and in pain, until my father and his sister couldn’t reach her for their weekly phone call, and my dad went to check on her. If it had been another day, she would likely have died of thirst. That’s the fate I hope to avoid. My mom incapacitated by something not immediately deadly. Something that checked for normal activity once or twice a day would be fine. I love the rice cooker idea, but she doesn’t eat rice often enough for it to work. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/63 "2018-05-02T12:43:56Z")
> [@digs](#): > > If it’s a case of “I’m overweight to the point where I can’t wear jeans”, heck, even sweatpants have pockets. No, it’s a case of “nobody makes jeans with decent-sized pockets which won’t cost more to make my size than I actually paid for the jeans in the first place.” By US standards I’m a sylph. According to Levi’s, my waist-to-hip ratio is just impossible: smaller than the type they don’t bother sell in Europe because they think it’s “black-woman’s curves” (can someone please tell them there’s black women here now?). ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/64 "2018-05-02T12:44:50Z")
In an acute medical emergency, seconds (much less minutes) can be the difference. The problem with some of the methodologies mentioned is that they are simply too slow in terms of response time. Personally, if I couldn’t be found in time to prevent permanent brain damage/paralysis, I’d rather not be found until I was dead because quality of life is more important than just existing. Therefore, for me, it would have to be a technological solution that could elicit an immediate response. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/65 "2018-05-02T12:52:31Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > I suggested they’d sew a patch of velcro to the cuff, and I’d glue a patch of the other velcro part on the phone’s case. But she didn’t want to do that because she thought that velco wouldn’t hold and then she’d be liable for phone that fell off the cuff and broke. Because this is a bit of a tangent and not everyone is interested, but it might be useful for someone else thinking along similar lines I’ve spoilered my reply. [spoiler]Attaching velcro can be tricky so if someone is concerned about doing so securely you might well be better off with a no than something that won’t work. My own concern is not about the velcro but rather the inner spring you propose, which is not something I have experience with so I’m not sure where I would get it from. Otherwise, it seems pretty straightforward to get some measurements, craft the leather cuff-cover from two pieces of thin leather, and attached the velcro. I’d probably use both a contact cement (similar to what I’d use for shoes, which are an item that get a lot of wear and tear) and some stitching. Attaching the velcro to the iPhone might be the most difficult bit, but that’s a matter of finding a good adhesive. You need an adequate size of velcro pieces(s) on both the phone and the cuff to make sure it will hold. You’ll wind up with an iPhone basically carpeted in velcro on one side but if that doesn’t bother you it doesn’t bother me. There is velcro intended for outside use in all weather and with some impressive holding capacity, far in excess of the weight of an iPhone. You get it in the hardware part of a store, not the sewing part, and that’s what I’d use. I think some crafters either don’t know or forget that you can step outside the sewing department to get supplies.[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/66 "2018-05-02T14:50:24Z")
There are [telephones](https://jet.com/product/detail/18b7464f67c247a78a643c0b757d5def) you can get that have fob with a button which will call preprogrammed numbers. As long as you could press the button, you could get help. There are also tech companies that are coming up with solutions for monitoring elderly living alone. By having sensors throughout the house, the system learns your habits and can notice deviations. It can notice things like your shower is typically 10 minutes, but today you are still in the shower after 30 minutes and may have fallen. The system can also notice changes in your mobility. Through body-mapping technology (like with video games), the system can learn how you typically walk. If you start to favor one side or your gait changes, it can notice that as well. Tech like that will likely be common one day and will automatically call for help when it’s needed. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/67 "2018-05-02T15:17:25Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > In an acute medical emergency, seconds (much less minutes) can be the difference. The problem with some of the methodologies mentioned is that they are simply too slow in terms of response time. Personally, if I couldn’t be found in time to prevent permanent brain damage/paralysis, I’d rather not be found until I was dead because quality of life is more important than just existing. Therefore, for me, it would have to be a technological solution that could elicit an immediate response. There are lots of problems you might have that wouldn’t lead to immediate brain damage, though. Like a broken hip, or some other awkward fall. That’s why I’m interested in monitoring on a once or twice a day basis. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/68 "2018-05-02T16:19:13Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > … I saw a William Holden movie last night and was reading a bit about him today. Slipped on a rug, hit his head on a table, and bled to death. He was only 63 at the time, but was a very heavy drinker and intoxicated at the time. There were signs that he was conscious. Don’t know if he couldn’t, or just chose not to call for help. That tickled my funny bone (something I needed in the midst of this thread). “Chose not to call for help”: I’m picturing tough guy William Holden lying there muttering “Yeah, I could get help, but that’s what those busybody neighbors would like. Well, screw 'em all. I’m just gonna lie here.” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/69 "2018-05-03T07:12:48Z")
Hey, when my aunt found my Grandma From Hell sitting in what a few hours before had been a puddle of her own urine\*, Grandma “gave me her best ‘I totally meant to spend the night here’ look”. Grandma complained for months about my aunt daring to pull her up :rolleyes: “She just pulled me up!” What was aunt supposed to do, get a special permit from the Vatican? She checked the old woman wasn’t broken and yes, pulled all of her 40 kilos up and into an armchair before calling for a doc-at-home visit. - Gran had fallen on her way to the toilet ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/70 "2018-05-03T08:09:16Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > You may say: “If I don’t show up at work, they’ll contact me”. But what if they call you on the phone, don’t reach you and… then what? They might notice your absence, but they may only shrug and plan to bitch at you when you show up again. > But do your co-workers have your house key, or do they know how to reach someone who does have a house key? Everywhere I’ve worked whenever someone doesn’t show up and doesn’t call in, it’s been taken seriously and HR will have friends’ and/or relatives’ numbers on file. Of course that still means you’re SOL if you have a stroke on the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/71 "2018-05-03T08:27:11Z")
(double post) ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/72 "2018-05-03T11:07:03Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > But it’s hard to make a habit of carrying a phone at home. I often [like to wear an apron when I’m pottering about the house](https://nl.aliexpress.com/item/New-Cooking-Baking-Aprons-Kitchen-Apron-Restaurant-Aprons-For-Women-Home-Sleeveless-Apron/32824259836.html?isOrigTitle=true), and the phone goes in my apron pocket. An apron has the added benefit of protecting my clothes. From spills, newspaper ink rubbing off, pet hair, and to keep my flowy scarves from hanging in food, or in the fire of candles and gas stoves. And aprons are comfortable, can be worn with anything and they don’t make 't make me look fat or nerdy. Wearing an apron makes me look like I’m at home, at ease, perhaps baking something, which is a look I like to have 🙂 The more I think about it, the more I feel I answered my own question. I’m gonna be a permanent apron-wearer when I’m home alone, from now on. With my phone in my front pocket. Men, feel free to [carry suit](https://nl.aliexpress.com/item/Denim-apron-kitchen-cooking-men-and-women-Korean-fashion-coffee-shop-uniforms-overall-customized-print-logo/32766031872.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0,searchweb201602_1_10152_10151_10065_10344_10068_10342_10343_5722611_10340_10341_10698_10696_5722911_5722811_10084_5722711_10083_10618_10304_10307_10301_5711211_10059_308_100031_10103_10624_10623_10622_10621_10620_5711311_5722511,searchweb201603_25,ppcSwitch_5&algo_expid=bdf0ca82-1b7a-4bf0-bdb4-310867f98a8f-6&algo_pvid=bdf0ca82-1b7a-4bf0-bdb4-310867f98a8f&transAbTest=ae803_1&priceBeautifyAB=0) with some stylish [aprons](https://nl.aliexpress.com/item/Polyester-Cooking-Kitchen-Apron-Men-Long-Section-Simple-Antifouling-Male-Chef-Apron-Adult-Bib-Apron/32787536013.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0,searchweb201602_1_10152_10151_10065_10344_10068_10342_10343_5722611_10340_10341_10698_10696_5722911_5722811_10084_5722711_10083_10618_10304_10307_10301_5711211_10059_308_100031_10103_10624_10623_10622_10621_10620_5711311_5722511,searchweb201603_25,ppcSwitch_5&algo_expid=bdf0ca82-1b7a-4bf0-bdb4-310867f98a8f-4&algo_pvid=bdf0ca82-1b7a-4bf0-bdb4-310867f98a8f&transAbTest=ae803_1&priceBeautifyAB=0) [for men](https://nl.aliexpress.com/item/Practical-Working-Denim-Bib-Apron-With-Leather-Strap-For-Barista-Chef-Barber-Pocket-Studio-Uniform/32857526130.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0,searchweb201602_1_10152_10151_10065_10344_10068_10342_10343_5722611_10340_10341_10698_10696_5722911_5722811_10084_5722711_10083_10618_10304_10307_10301_5711211_10059_308_100031_10103_10624_10623_10622_10621_10620_5711311_5722511,searchweb201603_25,ppcSwitch_5&algo_expid=d6938237-141f-4bc2-927d-9737f9133c5a-32&algo_pvid=d6938237-141f-4bc2-927d-9737f9133c5a&transAbTest=ae803_1&priceBeautifyAB=0). [Real men](https://nl.aliexpress.com/item/WEEYI-Zware-Zwart-Waxed-Canvas-Workshop-Schort-Mannen-met-Pockets-Cross-Back-Strap-voor-Schrijnwerker-Schoenmaker/1000004837997.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0%2Csearchweb201602_1_10152_10151_10065_10344_10068_10342_10343_5722611_10340_10341_10698_10696_5722911_5722811_10084_5722711_10083_10618_10304_10307_10301_5711211_10059_308_100031_10103_10624_10623_10622_10621_10620_5711311_5722511%2Csearchweb201603_25%2CppcSwitch_5&algo_expid=d6938237-141f-4bc2-927d-9737f9133c5a-33&algo_pvid=d6938237-141f-4bc2-927d-9737f9133c5a&transAbTest=ae803_1&priceBeautifyAB=0). Now, the idea for the upper arm cuff phone carrier, that’s for an office solution. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/73 "2018-05-03T12:39:26Z")
**Maastricht** , feel free to slap me if the answer is “yes”, but have you looked in sports stores? I’ve seen carriers similar to what you describe (velcro, yes; springs, no) and the best ones seem to be either from multi-brand telephone stores or sports ones. It’s the kind of thing I prefer to shop for in person. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/74 "2018-05-03T13:13:12Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > The more I think about it, the more I feel I answered my own question. I’m gonna be a permanent apron-wearer when I’m home alone, from now on. With my phone in my front pocket. Good for you! May you never need your Apron Phone (except to look up a recipe\*). \*Ooh, and have it read the recipe to you (text-to-speech), as you’re whisking something tasty. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/75 "2018-05-03T13:25:47Z")
Hmm. The thought had occurred to me about my Dad as he is in his 70s and lives alone since Mom passed away. I’m less than 2 hours away, but still too far to do daily pop-ins. OTOH, he is healthy and pretty active, travels a bit and has a pretty active social life through a group of friends in town. So I don’t think the risk is really any more or less than any other person who lives alone. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/76 "2018-05-03T14:36:26Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > … So I don’t think the risk is really any more or less than any other person who lives alone. Exactly, but that fact works the other way around, as well. \*Anyone \*living alone runs this risk. And the risk is serious. From the website "Stroke Facts: by the USA Center for Disease Control: [https://www.cdc.gov/stroke/facts.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/stroke/facts.htm) > [@](#): > > - Stroke kills about 140,000 Americans each year—that’s 1 out of every 20 deaths. > > - Someone in the United States has a stroke every 40 seconds. Every 4 minutes, someone dies of stroke. > > - Every year, more than 795,000 people in the United States have a stroke. About 610,000 of these are first or new strokes > > - About 185,00 strokes—nearly 1 of 4—are in people who have had a previous stroke. > > - About 87% of all strokes are ischemic strokes, in which blood flow to the brain is blocked. > > - Stroke costs the United States an estimated $34 billion each year. This total includes the cost of health care services, medicines to treat stroke, and missed days of work. > > - Stroke is a leading cause of serious long-term disability.2 Stroke reduces mobility in more than half of stroke survivors age 65 and over. And most chilling: > [@](#): > > - Stroke risk increases with age, but strokes can—and do—occur at any age. > - In 2009, 34% of people hospitalized for stroke were less than 65 years old. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/77 "2018-05-03T14:44:47Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > **Maastricht** , feel free to slap me if the answer is “yes”, but have you looked in sports stores? I’ve seen carriers similar to what you describe (velcro, yes; springs, no) and the best ones seem to be either from multi-brand telephone stores or sports ones. It’s the kind of thing I prefer to shop for in person. Yes, sports stores sell these, but they have a specific purpose: to have the phone on your arm, securely so it doesn’t fly off when you run. It is a PITA to have to get the phone out of the holder when you want to use it. And these things are very utilitarian and sporty looking, in black nylon and plastic. I would hate to wear them, so I wouldn’t. Although [this one is the only one](https://www.dhgate.com/product/tfy-open-face-sport-armband-key-holder-for/389671326.html) where the phone is not covered in plastic. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/78 "2018-05-03T14:46:30Z")
Broomstick, thank you so much for thinking with me. I’ll take your ideas to my local cobbler. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/79 "2018-05-04T18:17:11Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Broomstick, thank you so much for thinking with me. I’ll take your ideas to my local cobbler. 🙂 I’m going to check with mine, too. I’m sure she’ll be glad to give me advice… My cobbler’s a peach. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292/80 "2018-05-04T18:37:56Z")
Regarding a toilet-flush alarm: > [@Yllaria](#): > > Hmmm. Would this work? Depends. I see what you did there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dying-alone-what-safety-measures-are-feasible/813292.md?page=5)