# E.T. The heartwarming story of how Elliot set human civilization back thousands of years **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 3, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904 "2012-06-03T00:16:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/21 "2012-06-03T16:38:57Z")
> [@Ashley\_Pomeroy](#): > > Children would never torture small animals to death or say bad things. No, hang on, _they would_. But they would do it with a childlike sense of wonder, which makes things better. I’m reminded of Sid, from _Toy Story…_ “No-one has ever attempted a double bypass brain transplant before…” ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/22 "2012-06-03T17:17:08Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > What’s their take on digital watches? That they’re a pretty good idea. ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/23 "2012-06-03T18:22:46Z")
Why is there the assumption that a hypothetical government first contact team would not be aware of the genre in science fiction, and know how to treat an alien visitor with respect? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/24 "2012-06-03T18:30:22Z")
Hijack sorry, but who would head up a first contact scenario in real life? What field, or fields of expertise would best qualify someone to handle the discovery of an intelligent alien being taking refuge in someone’s home, not able to communicate that well, and possibly injured? I hope our first response wouldn’t be to send in SWAT to establish positive control of the situation, or whatever they call macing and shooting everything in sight. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/25 "2012-06-03T18:33:18Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Hijack sorry, but who would head up a first contact scenario in real life? What field, or fields of expertise would best qualify someone to handle the discovery of an intelligent alien being taking refuge in someone’s home, not able to communicate that well, and possibly injured? > > I hope our first response wouldn’t be to send in SWAT to establish positive control of the situation, or whatever they call macing and shooting everything in sight. Well, in _Close Encounters,_ it was a linguist and an organist. The aliens, however, chose an out-of-work lineman and a single mom. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/26 "2012-06-03T19:26:45Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I hope our first response wouldn’t be to send in SWAT to establish positive control of the situation, or whatever they call macing and shooting everything in sight. The LAPD calls that “Wednesday.” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/27 "2012-06-03T19:29:36Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > The government scientists did learn some stuff, just from the brief time they had access to E.T. I remember one of them calling out that he had DNA. Perhaps that was an artifact of the “link” between E.T. and Elliot, but if not, it’s really big news. And thats when ET got sucked into a really bad SVU plot. Poor little bastard. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/28 "2012-06-03T19:39:35Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I hope our first response wouldn’t be to send in SWAT to establish positive control of the situation, or whatever they call macing and shooting everything in sight. In _The Day the Earth Stood Still_, they called out the entire freakin’ US Army! Not only that, they pretty much shot Klaatu on sight! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/29 "2012-06-03T19:48:25Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Well, in _Close Encounters,_ it was a linguist and an organist. The aliens, however, chose an out-of-work lineman and a single mom. He wasn’t out of work until after the aliens chose him. But the humans chose a _French_ guy. They must have been preparing for an immediate surrender. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/30 "2012-06-03T20:37:46Z")
And the aliens didn’t actually pick the single mom, but her toddler son. (The single mom was only called to come to Devil’s Tower to pick up her son. And I think that’s the reason the others who were in that helicopter were called there as well; they had relatives who were returning from the mothership.) ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/31 "2012-06-03T20:38:46Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > He wasn’t out of work until after the aliens chose him. > > But the humans chose a _French_ guy. They must have been preparing for an immediate surrender. Seems better than the “napalm first, ask questions later” attitude the locals would have, right? Moronic stereotypes FTW. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/32 "2012-06-03T20:42:43Z")
ET was probably crawling with bacteria. Maybe the humans on the Earth of ET are wiped out by some alien disease. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/33 "2012-06-03T20:52:37Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > Seems better than the “napalm first, ask questions later” attitude the locals would have, right? > … I love the smell of napalm in the morning! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/34 "2012-06-03T21:01:37Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I love the smell of napalm in the morning! 😛 The French don’t know what it smells like. ---
**Author:** ![AndrewL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@AndrewL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndrewL)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/35 "2012-06-03T22:52:27Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > plans like… phone home? Planning for that would have then implied having ET carry some sort of alien satellite-phone with him, rather than having to build one out of found materials. That botany expedition was terribly ill-prepared. Thinking about it, the actions of the aliens in ET isn’t really consistent with them being a scientific expedition either. They landed at night in the middle of nowhere, and ran at the first sign of anyone spotting them. These are the actions of people who are not professionals, don’t have great resources, and don’t want to be discovered. Criminals, and incompetent criminals at that. I’m thinking that these were actually poachers or smugglers. Perhaps Earth has been set aside as some kind of alien wildlife preserve, and these aliens were sneaking in with a secondhand spaceship to try and steal some prime earth weed from the reserved land. They were so terrified of being caught by the authorities that they fled when spotted, and were fully willing to leave their friend behind to die until he managed to radio them and tell them he was still alive. It’s likely that the only reason they came back was to prevent him from spilling the beans on the entire operation should the actual alien authorities come along and pick him up. Had Elliot turned him over to the authorities, it might have led to formal contact with the actual aliens in charge, as human and alien law enforcement worked together to put a group of alien poachers away. Instead, Elliot is now complicit in their criminal activities. Nice going, kid. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/36 "2012-06-03T23:17:45Z")
Damn, AndrewL, that story fits what happens much better the popular version of the plot 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/37 "2012-06-03T23:18:32Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > ET was probably crawling with bacteria. Maybe the humans on the Earth of ET are wiped out by some alien disease. Contracted from his dirty “telephone”? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/38 "2012-06-03T23:22:02Z")
> [@AndrewL](#): > > Criminals, and incompetent criminals at that I’d love to see this movie get made. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/39 "2012-06-03T23:28:39Z")
The story turns out all right for E.T. himself (itself?), and that’s kind of the point, I think. And, not that the authorities are “bad,” but that often authority and expertise are not always better at handling a situation than kindness, sincerity, and openness. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904/40 "2012-06-04T00:17:11Z")
Alright. Let’s ignore the story as being about relationships and childhood innocence and adults who while still full of wonder still don’t quite get that kid’s eye view, using ET as the prop, and play it as a first contact sci-fi … Agreed that the ET ship was no official vessel. This was a group out where they should not have been. Maybe political fugitives or refugees or, my personal take, extraterrestrial hippies harvesting some exotic botanicals that have some particularly potent psychoactive properties for their species … that earth stuff is good shit man. Doubt serious bad ass criminals. Ship gone. All the kid could turn in was the ET itself. ET will get sick on earth left here no matter what. (Elliot did not cause him to get sick I do not think.) Scenario 1) As played out. Small knowledge gained from samples taken debriefings. The ET group returns to under their planet or whatever’s radar. No harm done. Perhaps spreading the word of a nice sentient group on this earth amongst the ET alternative subculture which percolates into the mainstream averting some clearing out of earth for the supergalactic superhighway to come. Sort of a save the cute and harmless endangered humans campaign. Extraterrestrial hippies are still into that karma thing too. If nothing else a benign first contact and we all have seen movies with first contact far from benign, so most must actually go down like that. Sceanrio 2) ET turned in. Dies. No call ever made. Little additional information gained. Nice to be able to study the anatomy and DNA, but we are not talking technology. If his group runs and hides and is never caught then no harm either. But … Scenario 3) If that group gets caught then the extraterrestrial authorities may want to investigate the circumstances under which one of theirs died. Presumptively a species with far superior technology than ours. Who may come to a faulty conclusion that some vivisection was involved and want to make an example of a planet that would do that to one of theirs, even a hippy or a political refugee. Ooops. I’ll take the benign outcome rather than bet on what’s behind door number 3. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/e-t-the-heartwarming-story-of-how-elliot-set-human-civilization-back-thousands-of-years/623904.md?page=3)