# Easiest and hardest jobs in Starfleet **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 13, 2010, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275 "2010-05-13T05:40:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/41 "2010-05-14T04:33:54Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > BAD choice of words! šŸ™‚ :smack: ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2010, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/42 "2010-05-14T05:45:05Z")
Always wondered about Mr. Mot, the barber: > **[Mot](https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Mot)** > > Mot was a Bolian civilian barber who worked in the barbershop aboard the USS Enterprise-D during the 2360s. Mot often gave tactical advice to Captain Picard and Commander Riker, usually against their will. Riker commented, however, that Mot was the... I guess itā€™s the same question for barbers and waiters and people working on Riza. Why would anyone want to do stupid petty service industry jobs if thereā€™s no money? I donā€™t understand jobs in general in their universe. Iā€™d just sit on the holodeck all day, eating fakeass cheetos and scoring with Carmen Electra. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/43 "2010-05-15T00:19:10Z")
> [@The\_Controvert](#): > > Seems like it would be stressful to be a Chief Engineer like Scotty. Lots of hard work, studying and innate talent only to be yelled at by your captain and constantly pressured to perform miracles. Make any mistakes or perform slightly short of perfection and you and your friends die horribly. > > On the other hand, a Transporter Chief looks like an easy job. Just stand there and move the levers up or down. > > Uhuraā€™s job also seems rather easy. I think Uhura and Oā€™Brien only make their jobs look easy. Thereā€™s clearly a lot of technical work involved; itā€™s not just pushing buttons and working levers. Spock speifically concedes in one episode that Uhura knows more about the ships communication system than he does, and that sheā€™s the only person, including himself and Scott, whom heā€™ll trust to make involved adjustments to it. God, Iā€™m a geek. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/44 "2010-05-15T00:23:55Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > God, Iā€™m a geek. Thatā€™s why we love ya, boss! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/45 "2010-05-15T00:44:47Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > You have a much larger problem than just the computer to worry about. Your taste in fictional women is abominable. Iā€™d rather bone a horta than touch Janeway. > > Otherwise I think **jayjay** nailed it. I will second **AClockwordMelonā€™s** praise of Janeway. Sheā€™s a hypocritcal, borderline psycotic, murderous bitch, but sheā€™s also yummy and altogether mattressable. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/46 "2010-05-15T00:59:31Z")
Counselor Troi had a pretty easy job. Most of the time all she had to do was walk around the bridge in a skintight leotard and tell the captain how she sensed hostily from the aliens that just locked weapons on the Enterprise. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/47 "2010-05-15T01:00:06Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Your taste in fictional women is abominable. Iā€™d rather bone a horta than touch Janeway. > > Otherwise I think **jayjay** nailed it. Janeway or the horta? šŸ˜•šŸ˜› Hardest Jobā€“Porthole Washer, Outside. Easiest Jobā€“Starfleet Laundry Technician. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/48 "2010-05-15T01:11:45Z")
> [@antonio107](#): > > Always wondered about Mr. Mot, the barber: > > [Mot | Memory Alpha | Fandom](http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Mot) > > I guess itā€™s the same question for barbers and waiters and people working on Riza. Why would anyone want to do stupid petty service industry jobs if thereā€™s no money? I donā€™t understand jobs in general in their universe. Iā€™d just sit on the holodeck all day, eating fakeass cheetos and scoring with Carmen Electra. You donā€™t become a barber on the Enterprise for the money. You do it because you really want to travel in space, except youā€™re not good with math and science and are no good in a fight. So you see that there are some service positions available, among them barber, and so you decide to become the best damn space-barber in the Galaxy. If you donā€™t give a shit about seeing the galaxy, you stay home. See, nobody in the Federation works because they have to, anybody who wants to can sit on their ass all day. Everything they need comes out of a replicator, all their entertainment needs come out of a holosuite. Most people think, ā€œAwesome!ā€, and grab a replicated cold one, and see whatā€™s on channel 230431/a. A few people get bored, and decide to do other things, like open restaurants that donā€™t charge money. Some decide they want to explore the galaxy, so they join Starfleet. Most people think anyone who would join Starfleet must be a bit crazy, like we think of the guys who decide they need to sail around the world solo, or climb Mount Everest, or jump over the Snake River canyon. So most people we see on the show are considered borderline crazy by normal earth humans. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/49 "2010-05-15T01:54:03Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > So most people we see on the show are considered borderline crazy by normal earth humans. But are also respected because somebody needs to do it. Ultimately, Star Fleetā€™s job is to keep everyone safe. Iā€™d say itā€™s closer to how people today feel about people who go into the military. Sure, there are youā€™re Der Trihses out there, but I bet thereā€™s the ā€œSupport the troopsā€ people, too. ---
**Author:** ![Mekhazzio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b38774/32.png) [@Mekhazzio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mekhazzio)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/50 "2010-05-15T01:55:23Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Iā€™d rather bone a horta than touch Janeway. Who can blame you? Theyā€™re totally hot and have great taste in heavy metal. The security officer who mans the brig has a pretty cushy job. The Trek universe is so touchy-feely that itā€™s a wonder they even HAVE a brig on their ships. Each time itā€™s seen, itā€™s completely empty except for this one guy at the forcefield console. On the other hand, itā€™s still a red shirt jobā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/51 "2010-05-15T02:36:08Z")
Janeway? please. 7 oā€™ 9? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/52 "2010-05-15T03:58:52Z")
Brig Officer is the worst gig in Starfleet, because there has never been one prisoner in the history of the Federation who was ever confined longer than 27 minutes by one of those force fields before escaping. If the Brig Officer is lucky he just wakes up in sickbay with a concussion. If heā€™s unlucky, he gets turned into a dodecahedron and crushed or something. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/53 "2010-05-15T05:48:35Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Waiter on Ten forward must be the easiest: > > 1. Nobody will talk to you, only to each other or Guinan. > 2. With the replicators, you donā€™t serve anything. Everybody gets their own stuff. > 3. Since the replicators also duplicate silverware/plates, you donā€™t need to wash anything. The customers throw everything away, plates and all. > 4. Since thereā€™s no money in the star trek universe, you donā€™t have to collect money, run credit cards, or worry about getting stiffed on the tip. > 5. Since you arenā€™t a soldier, when thereā€™s an emergency, you wonā€™t get called to fight. > 6. Since you arenā€™t maintenance, you donā€™t have to fix the replicators when they break. > > Hardest: Red Shirted Security guard. It actually wasnā€™t until the 2nd season of TOS that red shirts became deadlier. But other colors were deadly too. See my album, [Star Trek Death](http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2048925&id=1168490711&l=ad7b168f9f). ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/54 "2010-05-15T05:59:03Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Counselor Troi had a pretty easy job. Most of the time all she had to do was walk around the bridge in a skintight leotard and tell the captain how she sensed hostily from the aliens that just locked weapons on the Enterprise. [Enterprise is rocked by weapons fire] _Troi:_ Captainā€¦ I sense hostility. _Picard:_ Thank you, couselor. When you have any further deep insights into the blazingly obvious, will you have the courtesy to deliver it while wearing the cute little 23rd-century-style miniskirt that you wore during the Farpoint mission? _Riker:_ (soto voce) Now I remember why we \*really \*broke up. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/55 "2010-05-15T06:28:22Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Shipā€™s Counselor. Itā€™s an Officer grade position that demands no special ability whatsoever. If you fail at the most crucial times (for example, if your ship is about to get blasted into atoms and the Captain desperately needs something, _anything_ to help get the ship out of the jam and your only response is ā€œI canā€™t sense itā€¦ itā€™s too confusingā€ or some worthless bullshit like that) there are absolutely no reprecussions to your job or your career. Okay, I _know_ Iā€™m taking a funny/snarky response too seriously, butā€¦ it always bugged me that on a ship as large as the _Enterprise_, Starfleet only posted _one_ mental health care provider. (Yeah, I know that Troi was supposed to use her psychic bullshit to help the captain, but she was also shown acting as a psychotherapist.) I mean, at least Bev was called ā€œChief Medical Officerā€, which suggests that there were a few other docs aboard. But one psych for over a thousand people? Come on. I read a _Star Trek_ technical manual once that made the interesting point that one of the greatest challenges for a starship captain was simply managing a crew that big. Hard to imagine a 25th-cent. Human Resources Department, but they musta had 'em. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/56 "2010-05-15T06:31:39Z")
Uhura was better than [Babelfish](http://babelfish.yahoo.com/). Doesnā€™t seem like rational, and realistic, computational progression will ever work up to The Natural Translation ability of ā€œThe Shipā€™s Computerā€. Roddenberry couldnā€™t quite entertain my suspension of disbelief with his Magical English speaking Aliens. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/57 "2010-05-16T05:44:17Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I will second **AClockwordMelonā€™s** praise of Janeway. Sheā€™s a hypocritcal, borderline psycotic, murderous bitch, but sheā€™s also yummy and altogether mattressable. Iā€™m not USUALLY the type to run down someoneā€™s Hollywood crush, but damn! There are a few episodes where she dresses in civvies and purrs and tries to act all sexy, and man, she makes my penis crawl up inside me and hide. I donā€™t mean to judge anyone, itā€™s just that. . .wow. Maybe itā€™s the voice. I canā€™t even think about. . . Yup, there goes my penis. Oh well, you guys wonā€™t have to worry about me trying to get her attention. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/58 "2010-05-16T12:58:37Z")
> [@AWB](#): > > It actually wasnā€™t until the 2nd season of TOS that red shirts became deadlier. But other colors were deadly too. See my album, [Star Trek Death](http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2048925&id=1168490711&l=ad7b168f9f). Sir, you are my hero. That album absolutely ROCKS. Nice work! šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/59 "2010-05-16T13:26:17Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > Iā€™m not USUALLY the type to run down someoneā€™s Hollywood crush, but damn! There are a few episodes where she dresses in civvies and purrs and tries to act all sexy, and man, she makes my penis crawl up inside me and hide. I donā€™t mean to judge anyone, itā€™s just that. . .wow. Maybe itā€™s the voice. I canā€™t even think about. . . Yup, there goes my penis. Oh well, you guys wonā€™t have to worry about me trying to get her attention. šŸ˜ƒ I donā€™t have a Hollywood crush. Iā€™d just like to fuck her. Think about it- the fact that they even put her in those spots means that the producers felt she had sufficient sex appeal. I donā€™t think sheā€™s incredibly sexy or anything but when I see her in that uniform I want to give her the Vulcan grip if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275/60 "2010-05-16T14:33:02Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > I mean, at least Bev was called ā€œChief Medical Officerā€, which suggests that there were a few other docs aboard. Which makes me wonder about something. Aboard a starship on a deep space exploratory mission, you not only have to have doctors whose main job is dealing with the crewā€™s health but also experts across the entire field of the biological sciences. The ā€œChief Medical Officerā€ should be the head of one of the largest subdivisions in the entire science division of the ship. Routine care of crewmembers should be two or three levels of delegation down. At most the CMO should attend to the personal health of the Captain, the XO, and the top of the command chain for purposes of determining fitness for command. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easiest-and-hardest-jobs-in-starfleet/539275.md?page=4)