# "East Asian Civilization'? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 7, 2012, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173 "2012-05-07T15:10:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![buckgully](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb9ed0/32.png) [@buckgully](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buckgully)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/21 "2012-05-07T20:43:36Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Traditionally, these shanty towns valued juggling, bearded women, and a mark, which to them was as revered as the Sun God Markkus from which they took their names. It wasn’t until Ryu Hayabusa traveled the East Coast from Miami to Portland, Maine and spread Ninjitsu among the acrobats that these relatively small enclaves were able to hold their own against the Orc Hordes. After renaming Asteroth with the more pleasant sounding “New York”, the city that never sleeps rose from the ashes and became the dominant unicorn horn traders of the 19th century, cementing their influence in an emerging industrial revolution and creating most of the borders you see today. Are you a student of DeViries? Because I notice you failed to mention the Cult of Maneki Neko and their influence after the theological crisis that followed the collapse of spiritualist movement around the turn of the 20th century. Helmut Schadelbecker took DeViries to task over this topic in his seminal work _Der Fuß und die Schaufel_ which caused quite a stir at the time, but it was later revealed that DeViries was simply allergic to hard-fired ceramics and was thus unable to enter any of the establishments where he could have learned of the cult’s connection to the production of large mechanized bipedal armored vehicles. Later Schadelbecker and DeViries would settle their differences and present a paper outlining a unified theory on non-euclidiean transactional beverages, which they presented to the Royal Society in London in the form of a duet-sonnet, apparently clarified the subject greatly, however, all documentation regarding that paper has been lost as both men were overcome by hemorrhagic fever later that night. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/22 "2012-05-07T20:59:23Z")
I think a more accurate thread title for this would be “East Asian Civilization? (Need answer fast)”. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/23 "2012-05-07T21:08:42Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > East Asian Civilization refers to the multiple Chinatowns dotting towns and cities on the American Eastern seaboard. Historically founded by traveling bands of circus folk attempting to appear exotic to foreign-hungry carnival goers in the 1720’s, cities sprang up with the introduction of plow-pulling rhinoceroses following the destruction of the Hindenberg and the escape of the First Ones: pregnant rhino mothers that would become the evolutionary precursors to all modern rhinos in America. > > Traditionally, these shanty towns valued juggling, bearded women, and a mark, which to them was as revered as the Sun God Markkus from which they took their names. It wasn’t until Ryu Hayabusa traveled the East Coast from Miami to Portland, Maine and spread Ninjitsu among the acrobats that these relatively small enclaves were able to hold their own against the Orc Hordes. After renaming Asteroth with the more pleasant sounding “New York”, the city that never sleeps rose from the ashes and became the dominant unicorn horn traders of the 19th century, cementing their influence in an emerging industrial revolution and creating most of the borders you see today. > [@buckgully](#): > > Are you a student of DeViries? Because I notice you failed to mention the Cult of Maneki Neko and their influence after the theological crisis that followed the collapse of spiritualist movement around the turn of the 20th century. Helmut Schadelbecker took DeViries to task over this topic in his seminal work _Der Fuß und die Schaufel_ which caused quite a stir at the time, but it was later revealed that DeViries was simply allergic to hard-fired ceramics and was thus unable to enter any of the establishments where he could have learned of the cult’s connection to the production of large mechanized bipedal armored vehicles. > > Later Schadelbecker and DeViries would settle their differences and present a paper outlining a unified theory on non-euclidiean transactional beverages, which they presented to the Royal Society in London in the form of a duet-sonnet, apparently clarified the subject greatly, however, all documentation regarding that paper has been lost as both men were overcome by hemorrhagic fever later that night. You know those “bizarre answers my students have given to tests” threads we occasionally see in MPSIMS? Here’s hoping that we see this again there… ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/24 "2012-05-07T21:13:22Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > When the teacher asks for references, will the OP say,“A bunch of anonymous Dopers.”? 😃 We’re “pseudonymous Dopers”. Or should I say “pedantic”? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/25 "2012-05-07T21:49:57Z")
> [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](#): > > I think a more accurate thread title for this would be “East Asian Civilization? (Need answer fast)”. Well, as Gandhi said, when asked what he thought of Western Civilization, “It is far too soon to tell.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/26 "2012-05-07T21:51:47Z")
I don’t think the OP is going to come back. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/27 "2012-05-07T21:52:23Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Well, as Gandhi said, when asked what he thought of Western Civilization, “It is far too soon to tell.” Who was it who said he thought it would be a good idea? ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/28 "2012-05-07T21:57:21Z")
> [@Eastwest99](#): > > what are the traditional values, beliefs and practices of East Asia that placed China, Japan, Korea and Vietnam at a comparative geopolitical disadvantage during the 19th century? I really depends on the map settings so a definite answer is difficult to ascertain, but the most common way is rushing the Cultural victory too hard, too soon without paying enough attention to widening army tech gaps & plummeting diplomacy ratings. Hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/29 "2012-05-07T22:00:54Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I don’t think the OP is going to come back. > > Ever. Must be finals week. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/30 "2012-05-07T22:16:40Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Who was it who said he thought it would be a good idea? Easy! That was LaPlace when Napoleon asked him about God. ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/31 "2012-05-07T22:44:51Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Wait, if the Yamato only came to Japan in 600AD, then why is Japanese a linguistic isolate\*? 1400 years should be recent enough that we could easily see a common ancestor, especially since they likely would have remained geographically close. > > Unless you mean the Yamato were already there, and only created the imperial court at around 600AD, which makes a lot more sense. (I only know enough about pre-Shogunate Japan to know I really don’t know anything). > > - Possible bizarre linguistic connection with the Native American Zuni tribe ignored. The Yayoi people (which is probably what he meant to say) displaced the then-dominant Jomon people (of whom the Ainu are likely distant descendants) in 300 BC. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/32 "2012-05-07T23:01:17Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Wait, if the Yamato only came to Japan in 600AD, then why is Japanese a linguistic isolate\*? 1400 years should be recent enough that we could easily see a common ancestor, especially since they likely would have remained geographically close. > > Unless you mean the Yamato were already there, and only created the imperial court at around 600AD, which makes a lot more sense. (I only know enough about pre-Shogunate Japan to know I really don’t know anything). > > - Possible bizarre linguistic connection with the Native American Zuni tribe ignored. Isn’t there a proven connection to Korean? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/33 "2012-05-07T23:15:36Z")
Cmon let’s not be so hard on the kid. The answer is: East Asian civilization is mostly located in East Asia, since it’s easier for the West Asians to commute that way. The countries most responsible for East Asian civilization are Japan, China, Korea, Vietnam, Burma, Thaland and sometimes Malaysia, when they weren’t under water. Many great inventions have come from East Asia: they invented gunpowder, earthquakes and tentacle porn, though their crowning achievement is generally regarded to be Jack Lord’s hair in Hawaii Five-O. Despite these wonderful inventions, they were at a disadvantage to the West because they did not invent marketing. In summary, the outlook is bright for East Asia, as it is slated to become a ride at the Universal Studios theme park in Orlando, Florida, USA, in Fall 2014. You can find out more about East Asia by watching reruns of Hawaii Five-O. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/34 "2012-05-07T23:18:33Z")
> [@cckerberos](#): > > The Yayoi people (which is probably what he meant to say) displaced the then-dominant Jomon people (of whom the Ainu are likely distant descendants) in 300 BC. The Yaoi people? That explains the negative population growth! ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/35 "2012-05-07T23:32:02Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Isn’t there a proven connection to Korean? As far as I know – and mind you, I heard this from an ABD in East Asian (focusing on Sino-Tibetan) Linguistics – Korean and Japanese have surface similarities, but deep linguistic analysis reveals that they’re both linguistic isolates. In other words, the Chinese (Sino-Tibetan) Family, Korean Family, and Japanese Family are totally unrelated linguistically (though obviously vocabulary mixes a lot). Edit: Though it has been **proposed** that Japanese is either ultimately related to Korean or Altaic, but it’s far from proven. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/36 "2012-05-07T23:41:31Z")
And by Japanese I meant Japonic, of course. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/37 "2012-05-07T23:49:46Z")
Why is East Asia located west of California? Shouldn’t it be West Asia? Countries Like Turkey and Iran could be referred to as Even More West Asia. This whole “East Asia” nomenclature is a very slanted view of things. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/38 "2012-05-08T00:25:41Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Why is East Asia located west of California? Shouldn’t it be West Asia? Countries Like Turkey and Iran could be referred to as Even More West Asia. > > This whole “East Asia” nomenclature is a very slanted view of things. For better or worse, many of the descriptives we use are Euro-centric… which in some respects is the least of our [ethno-geographical sins](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8zBC2dvERM). That being said, it’s just a convention of language and besides Japan, Korea and China do lie on the eastern side of the Asian landmass, so unlike e.g. “the Orient” it’s actually a valid, neutral term. Don’t start reading altogether too much into that sort of thing anyway, down that road madness lies. And count yourself lucky your language isn’t genderized :p. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/39 "2012-05-08T00:30:39Z")
Whoooooosh ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173/40 "2012-05-08T00:37:05Z")
… Crap. Well, y’all still get a funny bit, so I’m going to make like a cat and pretend that’s exactly what I was going for the whole time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/east-asian-civilization/621173.md?page=3)