# Easthampton school superintendent job offer abruptly rescinded **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 6, 2023, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248 "2023-04-06T13:01:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Falchion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Falchion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falchion)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/101 "2023-04-06T17:46:30Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > That said, if he really did address an email to two people with “Ladies”, then that’s… Odd, at least. It’s normal to address a large group of people as “Ladies and Gentlemen”. If a large group happens to consist entirely of women (for instance, the alumnae of an all-girls school), then I suppose one would use just “Ladies”. But for two people? How would he have addressed them if they were one man and one woman, “Lady and Gentleman”? I routinely address an email to two (or more) men as “Gentlemen:” and do it without hesitation (although maybe I shouldn’t). I could imagine addressing an email to a mixed group (of at least two men and two women) as “Ladies and Gentlemen.” I know that I should not address an email to two (or more) women as “Ladies:,” so I don’t. But I put it in the same category as “ma’am,” I don’t really understand the rule, but I follow it. I worked with a ~~gentleman~~ man who routinely addressed emails to a group of two men and one woman as “Gentlemen and Rebecca,” which I found a bit odd. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/102 "2023-04-06T17:48:07Z")
How would you address a group consisting of one of each? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/103 "2023-04-06T17:51:20Z")
The fact that someone called for a wellness check implies that he was behaving in a manner that caused at least one person to question his sanity. I’m guessing more went on at the meeting than is being reported. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/104 "2023-04-06T17:54:19Z")
I know a super-conservative doctor who constantly rants about how wrong transgenderism is - he literally won’t shut up about it. He claims he got fired from a job for accidentally misgendering a patient (to the other doctors during discussion, not to the patient) _one single time_ and that was the only reason he was fired. Nobody who knows him believes that for a minute. ---
**Author:** ![Falchion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Falchion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falchion)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/105 "2023-04-06T17:57:43Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > How would you address a group consisting of one of each? Not sure. I’d be more likely to use names for two people than for more than two. I might use “Good Morning” (or some such) and dodge the issue. (You could reasonably ask why I don’t just do this for all emails and I don’t really have an answer.) The problem is that neither Gentleman nor Lady are really standard forms of address (although, I suppose, I would be likely to refer to someone as a gentleman or lady – is it really preferred to substitute woman? “Go over and talk to the gentleman in the blue shirt or the woman in orange hat”). But the plurals historically have been. ---
**Author:** ![ShadowFacts](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfacts/32/2934_2.png) [@ShadowFacts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadowFacts)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/106 "2023-04-06T18:03:13Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > The fact that someone called for a wellness check implies that he was behaving in a manner that caused at least one person to question his sanity. If you accept that the call he did not answer was to offer him the job, I don’t think that’s a likely implication. That wellness check business is really the strangest part of the whole thing, to my mind. ---
**Author:** ![eschrodinger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschrodinger/32/122_2.png) [@eschrodinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschrodinger)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/107 "2023-04-06T18:40:10Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > I refer to a group of women as “ladies” when addressing them directly. I have never gotten any blowback for it. Never ever even once. I mean what other term would I use? It’s increasingly inappropriate. Hi? Good morning everyone? > [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Sure, but like I said before, Mrs Cad (a woman) was reprimanded **by a man** for using the term “ladies” at work because “it is offensive to women” so the guy’s story is not outside the realm of possibility. > > As a note: the women did not complain about the term, just her **male** boss. It is problematic for some women. Good for her boss for being sensitive to that. Girls and women are routinely policed for acting “unladylike.” It’s a term that can have a sort of hyper-feminine connotation, and the less feminine gender conforming one is, the more prickly it can feel to be addressed that way. So some women don’t mind it at all, and some women find it very uncomfortable, and some people are aware of that. > [@Ulfreida](#): > > No, it’s not recreational outrage. > > Yes, there are women who use the term themselves and don’t mind it being used by others. > > Yes, it is often used condescendingly by men who are _absolutely unaware_ they are being condescending. Being unaware of it doesn’t make it not be condescension. Not just a condescension issue – though I agree with everything in your excellent post. But it’s also a gender and gender-role- reinforcing issue to use it. I find it odd that in this setting, the Chair’s title and surname weren’t used. I would never address members of a political body – elected officials – who are in contract negotiations with me, in any other way. Like: Chair \_\_\_\_, and Committee Members. Or, Chair \_\_\_\_, and Ms \_\_\_\_. And for all the folks who think it’s fine to address a group of women that way, you should know that some of us have experienced that word as a weapon, that it invalidates and “others” us, and that you are either excluding us or effectively misgendering us. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/108 "2023-04-06T18:45:28Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > How would you address a group consisting of one of each? “'Sup?” If its a formal occasion, the longer, “Wassup?” may be employed. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/109 "2023-04-06T18:51:58Z")
It’s not just the “ladies” thing. He asked for 40 days of sick leave for his first year (AFTER the initial offer was accepted). ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/110 "2023-04-06T18:58:11Z")
> [@ShadowFacts](#): > > If you accept that the call he did not answer was to offer him the job, I don’t think that’s a likely implication. That wellness check business is really the strangest part of the whole thing, to my mind There are way too many missing pieces to take anything at face value in the articles. ---
**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/111 "2023-04-06T19:06:26Z")
Clearly the offer was rescinded after they saw the way he ate spaghetti. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/112 "2023-04-06T19:08:59Z")
> [@ratatoskK](#): > > He asked for 40 days of sick leave for his first year (AFTER the initial offer was accepted). Yeah, that was odd. The justification provided in the article was to have it replace the accrued sick leave he already had, but according to the article, he also asked for 18 sick days every year following the first. So, yeah, it sounds like a backdoor way of asking for more paid vacation days if he was going to be paid less than his current job. > [@eschrodinger](#): > > > [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > > > I refer to a group of women as “ladies” when addressing them directly. I have never gotten any blowback for it. Never ever even once. I mean what other term would I use? > > It’s increasingly inappropriate. Hi? Good morning everyone? Quite. Also the “never gotten any blowback” is not the greatest yardstick. Some of the older folks in my hometown used to say the same thing about certain words used to describe racial minorities (“I’ve always called them that and they never said anything to me about it”). I’m more resigned than shocked to hear a similar line of argument employed in the 21st century. Traditionally, members of marginalized groups have had to subsume the urge to express such criticism, especially to members of the dominant group (especially when they got older), or potentially face consequences. Actually, it’s more a measure of how far we’ve come that some people now feel able to explicitly express such criticism with less fear of repercussion. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/113 "2023-04-06T19:16:40Z")
> [@CaveMike](#): > > Clearly the offer was rescinded after they saw the way he ate spaghetti. He twirled against the bowl instead of against a spoon like a civilized human being. 😡 ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/114 "2023-04-06T19:42:13Z")
> [@Folly](#): > > He twirled against the bowl instead of against a spoon like a civilized human being. 😡 Woke culture has gone too far. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/115 "2023-04-07T02:42:20Z")
I just checked in with my best friend, who lives in Easthampton. Said that there was supposed to be a public Zoom meeting about it on Tuesday the 4th, but so many people logged on that it crashed their server. Rescheduled for next week. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/116 "2023-04-07T11:44:31Z")
Ive a (male) staff member who sends emails to me and if it includes other women addresses the email “ladies”. My eyes roll so hard they risk falling out of my face. I never say anything either but I hate it. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_was\_in\_Saudi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Paul\_was\_in\_Saudi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_was_in_Saudi)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/117 "2023-04-07T14:00:26Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > I hate it. Why? Taking offense when none is intended seems foolish, if common. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/118 "2023-04-07T14:18:58Z")
> [@Paul\_was\_in\_Saudi](#): > > Taking offense when none is intended seems foolish, if common. Like calling a Black man “boy.” ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/119 "2023-04-07T14:35:13Z")
I’m offended by, for example, all manner of small minded, patriarchal, vile, officious, bigoted, intellectually incurious people who unfortunately inhabit this planet with me, especially when they disingenuously act like they don’t intend offense. Not giving a fuck if you offend is the same as doing it intentionally. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_was\_in\_Saudi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Paul\_was\_in\_Saudi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_was_in_Saudi)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248/120 "2023-04-07T15:32:09Z")
> [@ratatoskK](#): > > Like calling a Black man “boy.” OK, so you think the term “lady” is akin to “boy?” That seems to be unique. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easthampton-school-superintendent-job-offer-abruptly-rescinded/982248.md?page=7)