# Easy Answers for Fictional Dilemmas **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 15, 2025, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080 "2025-04-15T20:26:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/121 "2025-04-17T18:20:51Z")
Everyone always wants to fight the hypothetical of The Cold Equations. I like the story for its “the universe doesn’t _care_ if you are a cute, innocent girl. If you’re stupid, you die”. It’s a good lesson that needs to be said. But…I wish they’d done a better job of it. eta I still don’t like the story for “cute girl is worth more than skilled pilot”, and the story itself expecting him to sacrifice himself to save the Plot Idiot. The days of “women and children first” are long gone, and should never have existed in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/122 "2025-04-17T18:36:56Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > It was in both books, actually. _Brothers In Arms_ and _A Civil Campaign._ It was more important in _Brothers In Arms_, since that’s the one where Miles lured two groups of pursuers into eliminating each other with the help of “stunner reflexes”. Ivan compared it to particles and antiparticles annihilating each other. “Poof!” Which scene in Civil Campaign? I’ve read it numerous times and that doesn’t ring a bell. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/123 "2025-04-17T18:55:58Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Which scene in Civil Campaign? I’ve read it numerous times and that doesn’t ring a bell. The scene near the end where Ivan Vorpatril, Olivia and Dono get ambushed by thugs with stunners; Ivan shouts “Stunner tag!” before diving for cover. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/124 "2025-04-17T19:29:39Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](#): > > So, why can’t he find the ruins of a drug store or an optician’s shop, and see if he can’t find a magnifying glass or something? Yeah, it’ll be harder to find such stuff without his glasses, but not impossible. Exactly what I said. And any person that blind would have a second pair at home anyway. I really hate that episode- there is no good reason for Burgess Meredith to "get his comeuppance’ ala most Twilight zone episodes. He is not a bad guy at all. Maybe TV writers just hate readers? > [@solost](#): > > Been a long time since I saw that TZ episode, but since the guy was already at the library, if I was him I’d try to find the main library counter and look for a ‘lost and found’ box stashed behind it somewhere. He’ll probably find all kinds of glasses that were lost over the years, and either find a good pair of reading glasses if he’s lucky, or if he really lucks out, a prescription close enough to his own to get by. Good one! > [@DocCathode](#): > > The Cold Equations…As has been pointed out before, a simple pre flight check would have avoided the situation in the first place. IIRC The emergency ship was dispatched with a vaccine to save the lives of something like ten colonists. So, they will go to all that trouble for a handful of colonists who volunteered to be in danger on the frontier but nobody even tries to save the life of an innocent who is in peril because of the lack of a pre flight check, the lack of proper saftey precuations, and the lack of proper signs? Campbell insisted there be no solution, and in fact the story is pretty bad- only a sign? No locks\> No guards? No- and this is critical- preflight checks? Its stupid and Campbell had it written just to infuriate his readers- the short got more mail than any other- and that was Johns goal. > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > That deserves special mention because it was due to [editorial interference](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cold_Equations#Development). The author kept coming up with ways to save the girl, and the editor kept sending it back demanding that it be changed so she dies. That’s why the scenario feels so forced and artificial; it _was._ Yep. > [@solost](#): > > The whole point of the trolley dilemma is that even though in a purely logical, objective sense, choosing to flip the switch to kill one person and save 5 is the better choice, Nope. Since if you DO anything, you will be sued, charged with manslaughter, and other bad things. The trolley dilemma does not- at least the version I have read- claim that it is your job/duty to man that switch. Just walk away - then call 911. > [@solost](#): > > The better question would be why are 5 people hanging out on the main trolley track, and one person on an alternate track, without looking out for oncoming trolleys? Why can’t the person at the switch just yell out “get off the damn tracks, fools!” Nice one! > [@Alessan](#): > > She calls it “stunner tag”, I think. Yep- if you have stunners- then you can (and should) shoot first and ask questions later. The same thing happened over and over on Warehouse 13- they had a stun gun- just shoot dammit! > [@Reply](#): > > One episode has Gandalf taking Frodo on a big bird and dropping the ring into the volcano from above. Why not? We have covered this well and solidly in several threats- if Sauron sees you coming- you are toast. And other reasons, because Gandalf would have to drop _Frodo_ into the pit. > [@Mangetout](#): > > Yeah, or Indiana Jones stays home, avoiding a whole load of hurt and peril; the Nazis get the Ark of the Covenant, open it and melt/explode, then the ark gets crated up and hidden away; Sure- but then survivors figure out NOT to open it or look at it, then they put the Ark at the head of a Panzer army which becomes unbeatable. Amy was wrong. > [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Later I realized that there’s no way they could even get the Ark inside the sub. The openings are too small. Subs have hatches where torpedoes, and even whole engines can be brought inside. > [@Shoeless](#): > > There are a number of Star Trek episodes in both TOS and TNG where the dilemma could be solved by not giving complete strangers access to the entire ship, including the bridge. Or the ships computers which tell you how to take over the ship. Sure, they are guests- give them a nice stateroom, and two redhirts are “guides”. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/125 "2025-04-17T19:45:10Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Sure- but then survivors figure out NOT to open it or look at it, then they put the Ark at the head of a Panzer army which becomes unbeatable. There is that. I have to assume the U-Boat was in contact with Command so someone would have known where to look for their missing submarine. If Jones wasn’t there to get the Ark into US hands, some smarter Nazi would have scooped it up and potentially figured out how to utilize it. Again, the plan when dealing with some super weapon shouldn’t be “Let’s just hope our enemies kill themselves with it”. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/126 "2025-04-17T19:46:36Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > There is that. I have to assume the U-Boat was in contact with Command so someone would have known where to look for their missing submarine Well, not every Nazi went with the Ark- many stayed behind at the base and with the sub. Just a few. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/127 "2025-04-17T19:53:42Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Subs have hatches where torpedoes, and even whole engines can be brought inside Torpedoes are smaller than the Ark, and if something large needs to be added, like an engine, they cut the hull open. You know how big a U-boat diesel engine is? Big! > [@DrDeth](#): > > then they put the Ark at the head of a Panzer army which becomes unbeatable. Which shows a complete lack of understanding how the Ark works. Aside from the fact that the Israelites were not unbeatable, and as a matter of fact, no longer possess the Ark, do you think G\_d would let the Nazis use it? Besides it didn’t even work all the time for the Israelites. “According to the biblical narrative, a few years later the elders of Israel decided to take the Ark onto the battlefield to assist them against the Philistines, having recently been defeated at the battle of Eben-Ezer.They were again heavily defeated, with the loss of 30,000 men. The Ark was captured by the Philistines.” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/128 "2025-04-17T19:56:45Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Again, the plan when dealing with some super weapon shouldn’t be “Let’s just hope our enemies kill themselves with it”. Yeah, especially since it’s not like Indiana Jones _knew_ what would happen when they opened it. It would only be an “easy answer” if he could foretell the future. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/129 "2025-04-17T19:58:03Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Which shows a complete lack of understanding how the Ark works. Aside from the fact that the Israelites were not unbeatable, and as a matter of fact, no longer possess the Ark, do you think G\_d would let the Nazis use it? He objected to the placement of the Nazi symbol on the box containing the ark. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/130 "2025-04-17T19:59:53Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Torpedoes are smaller than the Ark, and if something large needs to be added, like an engine, they cut the hull open The Ark is 4’x2’, a torpedo is 13’ x 2’. > [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Besides it didn’t even work all the time for the Israelites. True, but it was _supposed to._ ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/131 "2025-04-17T20:08:32Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > The Ark is 4’x2’, a torpedo is 13’ x 2’. Aside from those figures being way smaller (just search for a photo of Indy and Sallah carrying it!\*) there’s the whole “square peg in a round hole” problem. You can’t get a 2’ square peg into a 2’ diameter round hole. \*surprisingly, I can’t find a _linkable_ image! ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/132 "2025-04-17T20:16:20Z")
Don’t we see the crate containing the ark being raised vertically out of the submarine in the sub base? That suggests it’s going in and out through a hatch on the top surface. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/133 "2025-04-17T20:29:49Z")
Well, it’s an ark, right? Just float it behind the sub and attach a tow line. Problem solved 😏 😊 ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/134 "2025-04-17T20:31:06Z")
God is gonna get’cha for that! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/135 "2025-04-17T20:32:32Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Which shows a complete lack of understanding how the Ark works. Aside from the fact that the Israelites were not unbeatable, and as a matter of fact, no longer possess the Ark, do you think G\_d would let the Nazis use it? Yeah, this. The Ark isn’t a machine, it’s an instrument of God’s will. The Nazis aren’t going to find a way to “trick” God into working for them. If they think they’ve figured out a way to game the Ark into being a weapon for them, then God’s just going to change the way the Ark works, so it either does nothing, or it backfires and melts a bunch of Nazi faces. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/136 "2025-04-17T20:58:14Z")
Sure but, again, during the meeting with the military, Brody tells the government guys that an army possessing the Ark is invincible. Jones doesn’t contradict him or say “Well, only if it’s a God-fearing Jewish army”. The closest they come is saying that the pharaoh who took it from Jerusalem had a year-long sandstorm consume the city where the Ark was taken to. So the government has no reason to assume that the Ark is Death to Nazis. The Nazis aren’t going to say “There’s an artifact that makes you invincible but, I dunno guys, maybe we shouldn’t go after it”. Heck, there’s an argument to be made for thinking that the Ark is some super magic win-box because, if it’s just God making his favorite armies win, then you don’t need the Ark at all versus “An army carrying the Ark before it would be invincible…” Plus Hitler is deeply into the occult and mysticism and I’m sure there’s extra-scriptural works in various Gnostic and pseudepigraphical writings talking the Ark up as an engine of destruction. So it seems reasonable to me that (a) Hitler wants the Ark and (b) the US Government _doesn’t_ want Hitler to have the Ark rather than just saying “Haha, Hitler’s gonna melt his face”. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/FT3m4LXq3b4/maxresdefault.jpg "Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) - Ark of the Covenant Scene | Army Intelligence | Harrison Ford") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT3m4LXq3b4) ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/137 "2025-04-17T21:37:11Z")
Everyone points out the problem with Raiders but nobody points out the problem with Last Crusade. Yes you’re immortal but you can’t leave the temple, so even if the Nazis got it the best they can do is have Hitler put his bunker there so he can be “immortal” at the cost of being in a place that’s super easy to surround and lay siege to for the Allies. So if Indy had just let the Nazis find the Holy Grail the war would have ended sooner! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/138 "2025-04-17T21:45:30Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Sure but, again, during the meeting with the military, Brody tells the government guys that an army possessing the Ark is invincible. Jones doesn’t contradict him or say “Well, only if it’s a God-fearing Jewish army”. I’m not talking about what the _characters_ know about the Ark, I’m talking about what the Ark actually turns out to be. Nobody at the beginning of the film has any reason to think the Ark will auto-kill the Nazis. Certainly, the _Nazis_ wouldn’t think that, because they think God is on their side. The US government apparently doesn’t have a clue about the Ark, they just know its something Hitler wants, so why not get it before he can? They don’t seem to think that it’s that serious a threat, though, given that they just send some college professor to fetch it, instead of a squad of marines, or a pack of OSS agents, or even just a handler to go with Jones and write reports back to Washington. Indy himself never really treats it as a _supernatural_ threat until the very end, just as an extremely valuable historical artifact. By the end of the film, we know that the Ark is pretty much exactly what the Bible says it was, which implies the Bible is also largely right about the nature of God. And if that’s the case, God isn’t going to let the Ark be used by the Nazis. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/139 "2025-04-17T21:46:15Z")
Well, it can also heal injuries. So it would work as a medical center for serious problems. It’s also unclear if it works as a rejuvinator. You won’t get infinite life if you leave, but what if it removes all of your pre-cancerous cells, fixes organ damage, etc.? You’re going to live longer on average even if you aren’t totally preserved. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/140 "2025-04-17T21:47:57Z")
If nothing else, it could clear up Hitler’s constipation issues. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080.md?page=8)