# Easy Answers for Fictional Dilemmas **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 15, 2025, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080 "2025-04-15T20:26:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/141 "2025-04-17T21:53:11Z")
That, and giving him his second testicle, maybe he’ll no longer be such an angry unhappy person. Maybe _that_ was God’s plan! > [@Miller](#): > > which implies the Bible is also largely right about the nature of God. This is the actual scary part. God isn’t “Buddy Jesus” who says “love each other”, He’s a mean, vindictive bad daddy who smites you on a whim, for any or no reason at all. (Per the stories, God killed someone for just _touching_ the Ark.) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/142 "2025-04-17T21:55:07Z")
He can give up that depressing vegetarian diet too since all of his chronic health problems are cured. Hitler can finally enjoy a good steak, he becomes much happier, and he ends the war. So yet again the answer is to just let the Nazis get away with it. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/143 "2025-04-17T22:02:52Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > And if that’s the case, God isn’t going to let the Ark be used by the Nazis. Of course, nothing really happened aside from some smoldering until Belloq opened it and started mucking around with the interior. Maybe it would have worked if the Nazis just stuck it in front of their army like the directions said. Warning: No User Serviceable Parts Inside, Risk of Severe Electric Shock or Wrath of God ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/144 "2025-04-17T22:07:33Z")
“What’s the powder inside the Ark made from?” “The last people who opened it.” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/145 "2025-04-18T00:15:01Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > The Ark isn’t a machine, it’s an instrument of God’s will. The Nazis aren’t going to find a way to “trick” God into working for them. True, but you’re dealing with the Ahnenerbe and their special brand of science- [Nazi archaeology - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_archaeology) > [@Jophiel](#): > > Plus Hitler is deeply into the occult and mysticism and I’m sure there’s extra-scriptural works in various Gnostic and pseudepigraphical writings talking the Ark up as an engine of destruction. Yep. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/146 "2025-04-18T01:08:02Z")
I wonder how many “Top Men” they went through before they just decided to file it and forget it. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/147 "2025-04-18T01:10:08Z")
And possible fanwank: The sand in the Ark is the remains of all the other idiots who tried to open it without permission. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/148 "2025-04-18T01:33:45Z")
The movie is on Disney+, I just watched the scenes. > [@DrDeth](#): > > The Ark is 4’x2’, a torpedo is 13’ x 2’. The Ark was in a crate that appeared to be 4’ x 3’ x 3’, and according to [this wiki page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_World_War_II_torpedoes_of_Germany), the standard German torpedo was 533 mm/20" in diameter. You weren’t getting that crate through a torpedo hatch that size. > [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Don’t we see the crate containing the ark being raised vertically out of the submarine in the sub base? That suggests it’s going in and out through a hatch on the top surface. It’s already sitting on the top deck of the sub when we see the sub in the base, with a crane heading towards it. > [@CalMeacham](#): > > I’m basing my answer on the fact that they put a rectangular staircase into the space left by taking the torpedo lading hatch for the S-49, and I’ll bet they didn’t go cutting into the steel with torches at a small shipyard outside Boston. I don’t see why not, it’s not like cutting steel is a difficult or uncommon operation, and a shipyard is the place where you’d do it on a ship. > [@CalMeacham](#): > > They were able to put an “up” staircase at the bow and a “down” staircase at the stern because the S-49 had torpedo tubes at both ends of the sub. And you can’t get torpedoes from one end to the other through the sub. I’m going to hazard a guess that they did that because the torpedo rooms are fairly large, and fairly spacious when they don’t have torpedoes in them. There aren’t a lot of compartments in a cramped WWII sub where you’d have the real estate to fit a staircase suitable for tourists of all ages & sizes instead of a ladder for fit sailors. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/149 "2025-04-18T01:44:56Z")
Did anybody else read the Thread title as “Easy Answers For Fictional Diplomas”? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/150 "2025-04-18T04:23:14Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > The Ark was in a crate that appeared to be 4’ x 3’ x 3’, and according to [this wiki page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_World_War_II_torpedoes_of_Germany), the standard German torpedo was 533 mm/20" in diameter. You weren’t getting that crate through a torpedo hatch that size. They also load the sub with supplies, take men out in stretchers if needed etc- I dont know how big all the hatches were- ydo you have a cite how big they were? The airplane is a fantasy airplane, note. Maybe it is a fantasy u-boat. who knows? Anyway, according to the film- it was loaded aboard. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/151 "2025-04-18T05:02:29Z")
Well, I never said I didn’t like the scene as written. It’s a terrific scene. I’m not even saying that I think I have a better idea (although I do think that the sight of the all the stuffy military dudes watching Will Smith’s character sprawled out on the floor like a kid in his room reading comic books could end up being a pretty decent gag). It just occurred to me that there was another way to tackle the problem of the comically floppy test booklets. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/152 "2025-04-18T06:03:15Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Nobody at the beginning of the film has any reason to think the Ark will auto-kill the Nazis. Certainly, the _Nazis_ wouldn’t think that, because they think God is on their side. Yeah, this. It was an obvious bad idea for people who want to kill Jews to try to use the Ark; but it’s the kind of obvious bad idea the Nazis would _totally_ have gone for. I mean, that’s why people almost never mention “Why would the Nazis want the Ark in the first place” as a plot hole. They’d have both taken seriously the idea it might actually be supernatural, and would have never even considered that God might smite _them._ ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/153 "2025-04-18T06:50:36Z")
BTW, regarding the climax of Raiders, how did Indy know not to look during the ceremony involving the ark? Is that something mentioned in the Bible? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/154 "2025-04-18T07:09:11Z")
Apparently yes. > 1 Samuel 6:19 - “And he smote the men of Bethshemesh, because they had looked into the ark of the LORD, even he smote of the people fifty thousand and threescore and ten men: and the people lamented, because the LORD had smitten [many] of the people with a great slaughter.” Some other quotes mentioned [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskScienceFiction/comments/1jfb2hh/indiana_jones_how_did_indiana_jones_know_to_not/). ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/155 "2025-04-18T10:57:49Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > I’m going to hazard a guess that they did that because the torpedo rooms are fairly large, and fairly spacious when they don’t have torpedoes in them. There aren’t a lot of compartments in a cramped WWII sub where you’d have the real estate to fit a staircase suitable for tourists of all ages & sizes instead of a ladder for fit sailors. No, you’re plainly wring here. They pretty obviously put the stairwaus where the torpedo loading hatches were because there was already a hole in the deck there and a cleared angled region to put the stairs in. The battery room/mess/crew quarters was another big space, but they would’ve had to have done a huge amount of cutting and moving things to put one in there. On top of which, the torpedo hatches were conveniently in the very end compartments, so it allowed a complete tour of the sub. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/156 "2025-04-18T11:14:07Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > I don’t see why not, it’s not like cutting steel is a difficult or uncommon operation, and a shipyard is the place where you’d do it on a ship. Yeah, but it’s expensive, and takes time. The guys who bought the sub and had the changes made were, surprisingly, middle-class guys. They weren’t rich (although they were creative in their financing), so they only had a limited amount of money – and that’s after buying the sub and paying to have it towed from Philadelphia to Boston. So , although they needed to fix the sub up, they naturally went for the cheapest solutions. Which included putting staircases in the already-available torpedo loading hatches. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/157 "2025-04-18T12:27:04Z")
Of course, the answer could be as simple as “The American submarine had different (and differently sized) hatches than its German U-Boat counterpart” ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/158 "2025-04-18T13:18:46Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > They’d have both taken seriously the idea it might actually be supernatural, and would have never even considered that God might smite _them._ So, kind of WWII version of “the leopards would never eat _my_ face”? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/159 "2025-04-18T13:50:14Z")
Heh, good one, seeing as how Belloq actually did get his face ~~eaten~~ melted. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080/160 "2025-04-18T14:27:23Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > how did Indy know not to look during the ceremony involving the ark? If only the filmmakers had taken two seconds of dialog to explain that. It bothered me for decades, until I learned. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/easy-answers-for-fictional-dilemmas/1017080.md?page=9)